Fire Petals
by Edenne
Summary: Working for a new sorceress, Seifer manages to use Ellone's powers to mess Squall up pretty badly. Now everyone has to travel through Grandidi forest to find Quists, Seifer *and* this mysterious new sorceress. Takes place from disk three, and goes in a di
1. Xerampelinae

C h a p t e r 1  
X e r a m p e l i n a e  
  
In a place where darkness reigned supreme and threatening, where leafless trees reached towards a very new moon, where the eyes of every creature skittering about seemed to glow red with fury, loomed another, even more eerie presence.  
  
A woman with long black hair and a white china face walked slowly through the dark woods as though trodding only on air. Her long dress of red, black, and gold flowed effortlessly behind her in a lazy breeze, despite the heavy, still air surrounding her. Her arms hung at her sides like dead weight; her back was straight and her chin high with powerful pride. She made not a sound as she moved; this and her other qualities would have spooked any passerby into believing she were an apparition. This forest was known to be haunted, after all.  
  
Her escort, a young man of eighteen, was much more human-like in nature. His heavy boots crushed dead leaves beneath them with every long stride, and his long silver overcoat hung still at his sides. The very faint hints of moonlight that managed to escape through the branches overhead illuminated his short, wispy blond hair as well as his broad, silver shoulders in dim waves of blurred light. He kept his blue eyes narrowed and straight ahead of him: he felt like Lot walking away from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, afraid that even a glimpse of the woman behind him would turn him to stone. He kept his mouth in a permanent frown, needing to concentrate on something, though he could find nothing at all to take his mind off of what little he knew.  
  
Occasionally the young man would slash at a branch or vine in his way with a swift swing of the gunblade in his leather-sheathed hand that cut the very air surrounding him to pieces. Clearing a path for this woman was an honor in itself, and he didn't even know where they were headed or why they were headed there. He would find out soon enough; and he refused to think impatient thoughts for fear that the woman would read his mind.  
  
After another hour or so of walking, he heard one word come racing to him from behind: "Stop." He stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he comprehended what he'd heard. He didn't say a word; tried his hardest not to even think a word, as the beautiful woman came up behind him and whispered in his ear, "We are surely far enough from the palace not to be heard now," her breath was ice on his neck, "Sit down on that rock over there. You needn't be so afraid of me, my knight. Relax."   
  
He did as he was told, and only because he was told to do so. He found her words so ironic; he'd watched her take lives away with only a word from her crimson lips. She could do the same to him--how could he not be afraid? He didn't even see what she needed him so dearly for anyway. Yet still, he refused to show his fear: he kept his back and shoulders straight, and looked her straight in the eye with newfound bravery.  
  
"I do need you." she whispered, "You have helped me beyond what I thought possible. You take care of me. You are another set of eyes and ears for me." So, she *had* read his mind.   
  
What she really needed him for was to use him to get closer to his ex-classmates, and she usually found his tense, quiet presence unnerving, but he didn't need to know that. "I care deeply for you, Seifer." She said, burning her eyes into his to be sure he would never forget them. The little boy was lapping it up like a thirsty kitten. This was perfect.  
  
Seifer ran a black gloved hand through his hair as an excuse to look away from her eyes. One second longer would surely have driven him mad. He didn't know how far into his mind she could reach and the thought scared him to death.  
  
"I have excellent news." She purred, then paused to let his anticipation build, "I have captured the powers of the girl, Ellone. I have altered them and made them better." She paused again, this time to let her words fully sink in. She watched him for a reaction, and all she found was fear. All she ever found was fear within this boy. "You will be the first to use them." It was obvious that this was a command, not a request. *Gee.* Seifer thought sarcastically, forgetting his fear of her mind-reading capabilities, *What an honor to be your majesty's first guinea pig.* Thankfully, the woman had already begun to speak again.  
  
"Think of it as a gift for being such a loyal knight."  
  
"A gift?" Seifer asked, the first words he had spoken for hours.  
  
"Yes. Let me explain." The shadows of a grin began to appear on her lips, only making Seifer more nervous. "Ellone was once able to send people's conciousnesses into the past , into the body of someone she knew. Thankfully, Dr. Odine has left Esthar to help my cause, after hearing what I was willing to pay him. With his help, using Ellone's powers, I have created a device that has stolen and manipulated those powers. Now, one's consciousness can be put into another's body at any time--be it past, present, or future--and have complete control of their host's actions."  
  
An owl fluttered from one tree to another in the distance and hooted. The woman looked over at it and there was a sudden, faraway flash of red light, then a screech, and a dull thump. Seifer couldn't help but shudder. All creatures should know by now not to interrupt when this woman was talking.  
  
"Anyways," she continued, "I need you to help me. You know the boy Squall, who happens to be a major threat to our plans?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"Good. You will be able to enter his body whenever you wish with the help of the device."  
  
Now it was Seifer's turn to grin. "I'm beginning to like the sound of this."  
  
"I want you to search his present mind for information about his plans, his whereabouts, and his weaknesses."  
  
Seifer was silent, pondering.   
  
"I understand you have a grudge against this boy, so you may also have as much 'fun' as you'd like while you are there. Just be sure to remain discreet -- if your identity is revealed, it will all be ruined."  
  
Seifer nodded and asked, "What will be done with the girl?"  
  
"Since she is no longer useful, to us or to anyone else, I suppose she shall be jettisoned in the central sea."  
  
"Why not just kill her?"  
  
"She will surely die before anyone finds her and interrogates her. If I am wrong, let it be so. I am a risk-taker, Seifer, you should know that by now."  
  
Seifer hung his head. "I apologize, your majesty."  
  
"Oh, stop it. Stop the formalities. You'll get to know me better, I'm sure." With that, she stood and began to head back to where they came from. Seifer followed.  
  
"We will start to prepare you for the mind invasion sunrise tomorrow morning. Do not be late. You'll need to endure vigorous training."  
  
"It will all be worth it to serve your needs." *..and to have some fun with Squall.* Squall had stolen his girl (not that he cared much for Rinoa much anymore); Squall had become a SeeD on the first try; Squall was looked up to by everyone. The hate boiled in Seifer's blood. *Oh yes, we're going to have some *fun*.*  
  
  



	2. Viator

C h a p t e r 2  
V i a t o r  
  
  
The soft sound of waves crashing against Balamb Garden was unfamiliar yet soothing, and still the youth laying on his small twin bed could not sleep. The sound only escalated the growing throbbing in his head. His eyes refused to shut, grey-blue saucer-orbs in the black night, wanting only to rest, yet refusing to try. Laying on his back, he ran a hand through his medium-length gold and copper hair and heaved a heavy, shaking sigh, watching reflections of moonlit waves on the small dorm ceiling.   
  
Ellone was gone. The only family he knew had been taken again, right from beneath their noses, and he felt horrible about it. All he could think about was how guilty he felt. She had taken care of him when he was young, had comforted him when he cried, and he couldn't even keep her from being kidnapped by couple of rebel nobodies.   
  
A valuable member of his team was sleeping or in a coma or something, nobody knew. He didn't want to think about Rinoa now, not when so many other things were in need of his attention. She confused him to no end; she acted as though she cared about him but seemed to remain angry with him. Too confusing --the fate of the Garden was much more important than his social life.  
  
He was supposed to be the leader to this stupid garden now. He still couldn't believe that the Headmaster had left this immense responsibility to him. He couldn't be more worthy of the job than Zell (no, too violence-oriented and spontaneous), or Irvine (no, he was from another garden), or Selphie (no, she was too immature), or Quistis (no, she had been demoted from teaching because she "lacked leadership qualities"). *Damn. I just proved myself completely wrong.* Still, he was sure that someone was more capable than himself.  
  
The teen looked around his dimly moonlit, pasty room, hoping to find something interesting. His blankets lay in a heap on his floor, a result of his frustration at them being to hot to lay under and to cold to lay on top of. Now he was freezing (too much air-conditioning) in only boxers and his grey t-shirt. It was impossible to get comfortable, and even harder to think straight. His fur-lined jacket lay in one corner, his pants in another, and the two belts he wore criss-crossed around his waist dangled from a hook on the back of his door. And he had no damn clue where his boots were. The clothes looked like small monsters lingering in the dark, waiting patiently to devour him whole. He cringed at the thought -- not only was it completely stupid, but it also left a little ball of fear in his gut.   
  
He stood up and took his gunblade out of it's case, sat on his bed, and began to mindlessly play with the sharp blade, admiring the lion emblazoned on the side as if looking for advice. *Griever, why do I expect you to know what to do?*   
  
When he realized he was asking it a question, one that it could not answer, he threw it to the floor, making a loud clang. He jumped and cussed. The sound made his growing headache explode into tingles of pain behind his eyes. "What the fuck am I supposed to do??" He whispered loudly at himself, falling back onto his bed and making it creak loudly in protest. He could feel tears begin to sting his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He hadn't cried, even when alone, since Ellone left the orphanage when he was a child.   
  
*Great Squall, great. Just throw a fucking temper-tantrum. That's the way to solve all your problems.*  
  
There was a knock at the door. Wonderful. The night just kept getting better and better. He ignored it and remained still.   
  
"Squall? I know you're in there." Zell. *What could he want?*  
  
Squall stood up and looked at the clock on his way to the door. Squinting out into the bright fluorescent-lit hallway, he asked, "What the hell are you doing here at three in the morning?"  
  
"I came to ask you what the racket's all about." To Squall, his voice was much too loud, even more so than usual, and he winced.  
  
"Will you be quiet?" he whispered, "I have a gigantic headache and you're not helping one fucking bit."  
  
"You don't need to be such a wuss about it." Zell put one hand on his hip and leaned on the doorframe with the other. His tall blond spiked bangs graced his strong arm as he cocked his head, "What've you been up to in here?" He peered at Squall with innocent yet piercing grey-green eyes. He looked genuinely worried about his leader, which for some reason made Squall quite angry.  
  
"I dropped my gunblade. I was about to clean it. Anything else?" He asked hastily.  
  
"Jeez guy! I'll admit I don't know much about gunblades, but couldn't that thing have gone off?" Zell hadn't lowered his voice at all. The black tattoo on the left side of his face reflected his personality perfectly -- bold and strange: loud bolts of lighting radiating from and mirroring the depths of his being.  
  
"It's not loaded." Squall tried to close the door to avoid any more confrontations, but Zell stopped it with a red-sneakered toe.  
  
"Why aren't you sleeping? It's gonna put you in a worse mood than usual if you don't catch some Z's. I don't want to have to put up with that." WHO didn't want to put up with WHO? The idea nearly made Squall laugh. Zell crossed his arms, waiting for an answer.  
  
"I've just got a lot on my mind."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand."  
  
Zell leaned forward and grinned defiantly, "You won't let me."  
  
". . . . . Whatever."  
  
Without warning, Zell laughed. It began as a chuckle, then grew into a guffaw.  
  
"What the hell's the matter with you?" Squall demanded.  
  
"You . . . are so . . .damn . . . predictable!" Zell declared between dying giggles.  
  
"Why aren't you sleeping?" Squall retaliated smartly. "You're all dressed. What gives?" Yes, Zell was dressed, though his clothes were wrinkled and dishevelled as if he had, in fact, been asleep. His black-and-red jacket was tied haphazardly around his waist and his black tank top was untucked from beltless, knee-length, baggy blue cargos.   
  
"Well, for your information, I was sitting in the infirmary with Rinoa for the last six hours. When people are in a coma you're supposed to talk to them. Helps 'em want to wake up." Zell replied as a worried expression already began to cloud his face.  
  
"We don't exactly know she's in a coma." Squall replied. "You're probably wasting your time."  
  
The muscles in Zell's neck and arm began to tense up as he squeezed the doorframe without realizing it. "Whatever's wrong with her, she's my friend and I want to see her pull through." He actually seemed to be getting angry with Squall, "You may not care, and that's fine with me, but I want to support her."  
  
"Look, I didn't say I don't care. There are just more important things--"  
  
". . .Than looking after someone you care about?!" Zell's voice became even louder, "I don't think so."   
  
*Geez, this guy must have a crush on her or something,* Squall thought, *He sure does like her.* He felt a twinge of . . . *something* in his gut at the thought of Zell and Rinoa together. Something that wasn't right. He laughed it off silently and pushed the thought out of his mind.  
  
"Oh wait, Squall, I forgot, Balamb Garden's resident iceberg doesn't know how to care about people."  
  
Squall just stared at him. Was that the impression he had on people?  
  
Zell must have noticed that his words had hit home. His frown disappeared and he began to relax.   
  
Squall faked a yawn. He had to get out of this heated discussion to think this crap over. More crap to think over. "Look, I think I do need to sleep. You should go."  
  
"That was a fake yawn. You suck at acting." Zell replied with an awkward smirk. Suddenly the door was shut in his face. "Hey!" He rubbed his nose, which had received a harsh whack. "What the hell was that?"  
  
"I'm going to sleep now. Go away." Squall picked up his gunblade and put it in it's case.  
  
"Squall," Zell continued through the door, "You should try it."  
  
"Try what?" Squall asked, becoming genuinely annoyed. He pulled his blankets up onto his bed and tried to get comfortable.  
  
"Talk to Rinoa. You need to talk to someone, but you always hate it when they reply. She would be perfect for you right now."  
  
"Go away."  
  
"Fine. Bye." Zell sighed loudly, and Squall could picture him drooping over at the waist in his trademark admittance of defeat.   
  
His footsteps grew fainter and fainter as he headed back to his room. A door opened and closed. All was silent.  
  
  



	3. Cunae Non Sunt

C h a p t e r 3  
C u n a e N o n S u n t  
  
  
A glistening new sun was just beginning to rise over acres of pine trees, bright orange fading to white and then angelic blue in a cloudless sky. A beautiful, worriless morning to some, but one of certain dread mixed with excitement for another.   
  
Seifer turned away from the gigantic window and headed down a blue glass corridor, his boots clicking on the floor. Everything was glass in this palace, even the damn floors. He had been assured that it was no ordinary, fragile type of glass -- some kind of alloy or chemical combination or some crap like that -- but still it's fragile appearance made him feel uncomfortable. Hell, he realized, maybe that was what they wanted.  
  
He stepped onto an elevator, flipped up the cover of a code key pad, punched in some numbers. Only he, the sorceress, and a few bodyguards knew that code. It was an honor to have such an advantage.  
  
At the end of his ride, Seifer walked down yet another hallway and finally came to a door at the end, big and ocean blue, carved with hundreds of pictures and inlaid with magical rhinestones. This elaborate design would have taken twenty men at least a year, he was sure. He sighed at such a waste of time.  
  
All of the black-robed guards watching the entrance were staring at him -- they knew exactly who he was and of his importance to the sorceress. Afraid that they would see his nervousness, Seifer shouted with a rock-hard expression, waving his gunblade around, "What the hell are you people looking at!?" His words were like a knife.  
  
The guards jumped slightly and averted their eyes to the floor, followed by a chorus of "Humble apologies, Sir Seifer."   
  
"That's better."  
  
One of them pushed a button that caused the door to open quickly but silently. Seifer took a deep breath (for it was the sorceress' personal chambers he was about to enter) and headed inside.   
  
The room was empty. The woman always loved to keep him waiting, knowing that he didn't dare say a word about it. He sat down on an unbelievably comfortable padded bench and looked around.   
  
The walls were as elaborately decorated as the door, only this time in wood. On one wall, a battle scene from what looked like the first sorceress war was carved; on another, a dragon with rubies for eyes and opal scales downs it's back. It grinned at him menacingly, and he stared right back. Pillars climbed the walls to an indigo ceiling like the sky just after dusk, with tiny diamond stars. A gigantic ebony chair sat against the far wall, with a table in front of it, and then the bench where he sat. The wall behind him was nothing but window. He had to admit the room was beautiful, though he couldn't understand the expense for something so useless. All of those craftsmen could have been used as warriors. He couldn't stand to see such a waste of time and energy.  
  
He stood up and walked to the window. One thing he liked was the beauty of nature. So many creatures lurked about, ready to be sliced in two with his gunblade.   
  
The high turret containing this room allowed him to see further past the horizon than anywhere else. The palace was surrounded by a tall black-barred fence far below, then by pine trees -- miles and miles of "haunted" pine forests. They helped to hide this place, though the most effective camouflage was the invisibility shields mounted on each fence post. He couldn't imagine anything more perfect than the invisible dome over the palace -- no one, not even that asshole Squall and his team, could find this place.  
  
"Seifer, there you are."  
  
Seifer whipped around, startled, his overcoat cascading out behind him. It was the sorceress, of course, only a few feet away from him. She radiated authority, humbling him in an instant. He nodded once.  
  
"I'm impressed." She allowed a faint smile to appear on her lips, "You're right on time."  
  
"Of course." Seifer said calmly, feeling quite proud of himself. "I follow your orders as best I can."  
  
"Do you even know my name?" The woman asked, out of the blue.  
  
"W-what?" He asked, bewilderment written all over his face.  
  
"My name . . . do you know it?"  
  
Seifer thought for a second and though he feared the truth might get him in some sort of trouble, he decided to tell it: "No. I just refer to you as 'the sorceress'."  
  
"MmHm." The woman mumbled. Seifer peered at her questioningly. For the first time he'd ever seen, her gaze was averted to the floor, and she actually looked . . human.  
  
After a few minutes, Seifer asked, "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Mayaden." She replied, then in her usual stern tone, said, "I suppose I should show you . . ."   
  
Seifer didn't ask what that was all about, though he was dying to know. *So, her name's Mayaden . . .* He knew it didn't matter, though. He could never call her by her first name.  
  
Mayaden held out her empty left hand, palm up, towards him. He didn't have to be told to watch.  
  
A spot of white light appeared an inch above her palm. It gradually grew to the size of a quarter and turned red. The light danced on their faces and then disappeared, leaving behind a small, transparent, turquoise orb.  
  
"What is that?" Seifer asked, peering at it.  
  
"This is your gift, the device, designed by Doctor Odine, my best researcher."  
  
"This little thing?" Seifer was obviously unimpressed, though he tried to hide it. He scratched his head.  
  
"Pick it up." said Mayaden, daring him with her mischevious gaze. Seifer looked at her, at her hand, at her, at her hand again. "Go ahead." she whispered.  
  
Seifer reached over with his right hand and picked up the ball. Immediately he dropped it back into her hand, fighting the grunt of pain in his throat. "It's *hot!*"  
  
The sorceress smiled. "It burns with a powerful magic you have not yet learned to control. Never underestimate anything because of it's physical size."  
  
Seifer looked at his index finger and thumb. They had already blistered and hurt like a sonovabitch. *Damn. My blade hand, too.* "So, what do I do with it if can't even pick it up?" he asked, trying to shake the pain from his fingers. He wished he had worn his gloves today.  
  
"You mustn't be so impatient. We will work with it. Your training has already begun." She chuckled. "And you've failed the first test."  
  
"What?. . . How!?"  
  
With the touch of a finger to his chin, Mayaden brought Seifer's face inches from her own. Seifer's heart thudded loudly in his chest and he was sure she could hear it. "Things aren't always as they seem, Seifer," she breathed, "Remember that."  
  
"I-I will." Seifer croaked as her icy hand landed on is collarbone, over the chain choker her wore, gently shoving him back away from her. He nearly stumbled and fell.  
  
"Good." Mayaden turned to leave. "Visit Odine's laboratory," she instructed, "He will teach you withstand this powerful magic." The far wall, the one with the dragon on it, rippled like thick oil as she reached her hand towards it and then passed right through it. When she was gone, the wall returned to normal solid wood.  
  
Mayaden was the only one Seifer knew of that could use such magic. Her and Edea. He coughed at the name. She was a disgrace. Couldn't even beat students from a lowly garden. Mayaden (he mouthed the word, tasting how it felt in his mouth) was much more powerful.   
  
Seifer then left for Odine's lab, Mayaden's name still on his lips. A glistening new sun was just beginning to rise over acres of pine trees, bright orange fading to white and then angelic blue in a cloudless sky. A beautiful, worriless morning to some, but one of certain dread mixed with excitement for another.   
  
Seifer turned away from the gigantic window and headed down a blue glass corridor, his boots clicking on the floor. Everything was glass in this palace, even the damn floors. He had been assured that it was no ordinary, fragile type of glass -- some kind of alloy or chemical combination or some crap like that -- but still it's fragile appearance made him feel uncomfortable. Hell, he realized, maybe that was what they wanted.  
  
He stepped onto an elevator, flipped up the cover of a code key pad, punched in some numbers. Only he, the sorceress, and a few bodyguards knew that code. It was an honor to have such an advantage.  
  
At the end of his ride, Seifer walked down yet another hallway and finally came to a door at the end, big and ocean blue, carved with hundreds of pictures and inlaid with magical rhinestones. This elaborate design would have taken twenty men at least a year, he was sure. He sighed at such a waste of time.  
  
All of the black-robed guards watching the entrance were staring at him -- they knew exactly who he was and of his importance to the sorceress. Afraid that they would see his nervousness, Seifer shouted with a rock-hard expression, waving his gunblade around, "What the hell are you people looking at!?" His words were like a knife.  
  
The guards jumped slightly and averted their eyes to the floor, followed by a chorus of "Humble apologies, Sir Seifer."   
  
"That's better."  
  
One of them pushed a button that caused the door to open quickly but silently. Seifer took a deep breath (for it was the sorceress' personal chambers he was about to enter) and headed inside.   
  
The room was empty. The woman always loved to keep him waiting, knowing that he didn't dare say a word about it. He sat down on an unbelievably comfortable padded bench and looked around.   
  
The walls were as elaborately decorated as the door, only this time in wood. On one wall, a battle scene from what looked like the first sorceress war was carved; on another, a dragon with rubies for eyes and opal scales downs it's back. It grinned at him menacingly, and he stared right back. Pillars climbed the walls to an indigo ceiling like the sky just after dusk, with tiny diamond stars. A gigantic ebony chair sat against the far wall, with a table in front of it, and then the bench where he sat. The wall behind him was nothing but window. He had to admit the room was beautiful, though he couldn't understand the expense for something so useless. All of those craftsmen could have been used as warriors. He couldn't stand to see such a waste of time and energy.  
  
He stood up and walked to the window. One thing he liked was the beauty of nature. So many creatures lurked about, ready to be sliced in two with his gunblade.   
  
The high turret containing this room allowed him to see further past the horizon than anywhere else. The palace was surrounded by a tall black-barred fence far below, then by pine trees -- miles and miles of "haunted" pine forests. They helped to hide this place, though the most effective camouflage was the invisibility shields mounted on each fence post. He couldn't imagine anything more perfect than the invisible dome over the palace -- no one, not even that asshole Squall and his team, could find this place.  
  
"Seifer, there you are."  
  
Seifer whipped around, startled, his overcoat cascading out behind him. It was the sorceress, of course, only a few feet away from him. She radiated authority, humbling him in an instant. He nodded once.  
  
"I'm impressed." She allowed a faint smile to appear on her lips, "You're right on time."  
  
"Of course." Seifer said calmly, feeling quite proud of himself. "I follow your orders as best I can."  
  
"Do you even know my name?" The woman asked, out of the blue.  
  
"W-what?" He asked, bewilderment written all over his face.  
  
"My name . . . do you know it?"  
  
Seifer thought for a second and though he feared the truth might get him in some sort of trouble, he decided to tell it: "No. I just refer to you as 'the sorceress'."  
  
"MmHm." The woman mumbled. Seifer peered at her questioningly. For the first time he'd ever seen, her gaze was averted to the floor, and she actually looked . . human.  
  
After a few minutes, Seifer asked, "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Mayaden." She replied, then in her usual stern tone, said, "I suppose I should show you . . ."   
  
Seifer didn't ask what that was all about, though he was dying to know. *So, her name's Mayaden . . .* He knew it didn't matter, though. He could never call her by her first name.  
  
Mayaden held out her empty left hand, palm up, towards him. He didn't have to be told to watch.  
  
A spot of white light appeared an inch above her palm. It gradually grew to the size of a quarter and turned red. The light danced on their faces and then disappeared, leaving behind a small, transparent, turquoise orb.  
  
"What is that?" Seifer asked, peering at it.  
  
"This is your gift, the device, designed by Doctor Odine, my best researcher."  
  
"This little thing?" Seifer was obviously unimpressed, though he tried to hide it. He scratched his head.  
  
"Pick it up." said Mayaden, daring him with her mischevious gaze. Seifer looked at her, at her hand, at her, at her hand again. "Go ahead." she whispered.  
  
Seifer reached over with his right hand and picked up the ball. Immediately he dropped it back into her hand, fighting the grunt of pain in his throat. "It's *hot!*"  
  
The sorceress smiled. "It burns with a powerful magic you have not yet learned to control. Never underestimate anything because of it's physical size."  
  
Seifer looked at his index finger and thumb. They had already blistered and hurt like a sonovabitch. *Damn. My blade hand, too.* "So, what do I do with it if can't even pick it up?" he asked, trying to shake the pain from his fingers. He wished he had worn his gloves today.  
  
"You mustn't be so impatient. We will work with it. Your training has already begun." She chuckled. "And you've failed the first test."  
  
"What?. . . How!?"  
  
With the touch of a finger to his chin, Mayaden brought Seifer's face inches from her own. Seifer's heart thudded loudly in his chest and he was sure she could hear it. "Things aren't always as they seem, Seifer," she breathed, "Remember that."  
  
"I-I will." Seifer croaked as her icy hand landed on is collarbone, over the chain choker her wore, gently shoving him back away from her. He nearly stumbled and fell.  
  
"Good." Mayaden turned to leave. "Visit Odine's laboratory," she instructed, "He will teach you withstand this powerful magic." The far wall, the one with the dragon on it, rippled like thick oil as she reached her hand towards it and then passed right through it. When she was gone, the wall returned to normal solid wood.  
  
Mayaden was the only one Seifer knew of that could use such magic. Her and Edea. He coughed at the name. She was a disgrace. Couldn't even beat students from a lowly garden. Mayaden (he mouthed the word, tasting how it felt in his mouth) was much more powerful.   
  
Seifer then left for Odine's lab, Mayaden's name still on his lips. 


	4. Intervigilium

C h a p t e r 4  
I n t e r v i g i l i u m   
  
Squall's heavy boots clicked on the slick linoleum floor. Sunlight was just beginning to turn the floors orange in the Garden hallways and Squall, who had gotten dressed an hour ago with nothing left to do or think about, was now walking around aimlessly. He had already directed the Garden's course and knew it would be another three untolerable days before they would reach their destination. He sighed out loud, watching his feet, left, right, left, ri-THUMP.  
  
Squall looked up (or down, really) to find a girl in a tiny yellow dress on her ass on the floor, staring up at him angrily. "Oh, shit, Selphie, I'm sorry! You shouldn't run so fast." He reached down his hand, but before she took it, her face changed to a petite smile.   
  
"Squall Leonhart, that's the second time you done this to me in the last week!" She giggled and let him help her up.   
  
"I said I'm sorry, Selphie . . ." Squall, though slouching, still towered over her five-foot frame.  
  
"It's okay. Did you think I'd actually be angry at you?" She giggled. "You're too cute!"  
  
"Uh . . . Whatever." *Me? Cute? Right.*  
  
Squall began to walk again and Selphie tagged along behind, tiny legs struggling to keep up with his long strides. "So, where're you off to, hotshot?"   
  
Squall shrugged. "Dunno . . . . Hey, how'd you manage to run into me anyways?"  
  
"Well, I was running to . . . um . . . oh no! I'm supposed to meet Irvine in the cafeteria! And I'm late! That's it!" Immediately Selphie turned and ran in the opposite direction. "See ya later!"  
  
"Bye." Squall mumbled. *Geez, a breakfast date with Irvine the Nympho Kinneas. Hope she knows what she's getting herself into.*  
  
He continued to walk, noticing Irvine himself running down the hall, long brown overcoat fanning out behind him, one hand holding his cowboy hat to his head while the other was lifted so he could look at his watch.   
  
"Shit, I'm late!" Squall heard him mumble as he raced by. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself.   
  
He then looked up to see the "Infirmary" sign. *Rinoa's in there.* He decided to pay her a visit; maybe Zell had been right - it could do him some good.   
  
He was greeted by silence. No one else was there. Turning the corner, he found Rinoa in the second room, lying peacefully on the bed. Curtain-filtered sunlight flowed onto her tiny features and showed off the deep gold highlights in her shoulder-length black hair, which lay in sharp contrast with the bleached white sheets and her pale face. A slight ocean breeze wafted through the window, making the white room seem like a strange heaven.   
  
*Complete with it's own angel.*  
  
Squall sat down on the stool beside the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his hands dangle between them.   
  
He watched Rinoa for a long time before saying anything. He'd almost forgotten what she looked like, which surprised him, considering he'd just seen her yesterday. Yesterday he fought and won beside her. Today, there was something wrong with her that no one understood, and it was all his fault. *Why did I bring you in there? You could have waited back at the garden . . .or just outside . . . I could have avoided this.*  
  
While he watched her, he noticed something different about her. He hadn't seen her sleep before, so that was different, but there was something else.   
  
Or maybe it was him that had changed? He wasn't sure; he felt strange around her -- something like when he was around Ellone as a kid, but . . . different.  
  
*Different. Everything's different now.* "It's all changing so fast, Rinoa." He whispered, " . . . . I'm afraid."  
  
This was an admittance of emotional defeat to Rinoa (if she could hear him) as well as himself. It was something he hadn't said in a long time, and he hung his head in shame. He sat there, motionless, for a long, long time.  
  
  
  
*~¨~*  
  
  
  
§  
  
*Millions of pink flower petals swirled around his head  
  
In the distance a cherry tree  
  
Past miles of green grassy fields   
  
Covered with so many blossoms  
  
Run to it  
  
Run to it   
  
Too far  
  
A girl wearing black and blue  
  
The colours of his soul  
  
Sitting on a swing  
  
From a branch singing  
  
Sakura   
  
Back  
  
Sakura   
  
And forth  
  
A strange sad song she sings for him  
  
Calling   
  
Can't reach her   
  
And falling  
  
Far past her  
  
Hitting black nothing  
  
-----!?*  
  
§   
  
"Squall?" A hand on his shoulder. "Squall."  
  
He jerked his head slightly upwards, taking in a deep, startled breath. He opened his eyes and squinted, lifting his head from the white sheets. He looked to his right, saw orange, and looked up. Quistis.  
  
"Hey there, sleepy head," said the woman with long golden hair, "I thought I'd find you here."  
  
"You . . . wha. . ." Squall sat up a little and noticed his arm was asleep. Looking over, her found Rinoa's hand in his own, unable to feel it through the pins and needles. Sitting up completely, he immediately drew his hand away and tried to massage away the tingles with the other.   
  
"Zell told me you haven't been sleeping." Quistis continued, "And also that he had advised you to come here."  
  
"Mmphmm." Squall replied quietly, rubbing his tired eyes. It was all he could mutter through his still tired lips as of yet. *That damn Zell. I don't need any more attention than I already have.*  
  
"It's funny," She smiled, half-sitting on Rinoa's bed and straightening her orange skirt. "You couldn't sleep all night, and then as soon as you're with Rinoa. . ."  
  
"I'm just really tired." Squall interrupted, trying to avoid confrontation. Looking up again, he found knowledge in her eyes. She knew him better than anyone else, though he refused to admit it to anyone.   
  
"You should go to bed, then." She declared.  
  
"I doubt I'll be able to now, but thanks for waking me up."  
  
"Sorry; I had to. Doctor Kadowaki wants to check up on Rinoa, and she'd have a difficult time doing so with you sprawled out and drooling on the bed."  
  
*Drooling? I don't think so.* Squall sighed and stared at the pink flowers in a vase on the window sill. *Pink flower petals . . . I had a dream . . . . Rinoa . . . a tree . . . a cherry tree. . .*  
  
"'Sakura.'" He muttered, not realizing he was thinking aloud.  
  
"What?" Quistis peered at him. "Cherry blossoms? Squall, those are pink roses."  
  
"Never mind." . . . *Rinoa, you were singing to me . . . I just want to hear your voice . . .*  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I *said* never *mind.*"  
  
"Alright, Squall, whatever you say. I think you really need some more sleep." Quistis was puzzled. *What's wrong with him?*  
  
"I think so, too." He looked at Rinoa. *Bye, Rinoa.* With that, he stood and left the Infirmary, nearly bumping into Dr. Kadowaki on his way out.   
  
Dr Kadowaki looked at Quistis with a puzzled expression on her face. "Maybe he should come by to see me later."  
  
"That might be a good idea." Quistis replied. She had to admit, Squall was being even more introverted than usual.  
  
"I mean, I'm no psychiatrist, but . . ."   
  
"Just make sure we focus on bringing Rinoa back from this . . . coma or whatever it is. I think she's the one he needs to talk to most."  
  
  



	5. Inaudax

C h a p t e r 5  
I n a u d a x  
  
"Seifer, you idiot!" hollered Doctor Odine from across his lab, "You can't pick it up vith gloves! It interferes vith ze trainink!"  
  
"If you call me an idiot one more time I'm gonna slice your throat!" Seifer replied from where he sat on a gourney. Odine looked at him and smirked.  
  
"You vill not. You know zat ze sorceress vould zen slice yours." And then he added, "Idiot."  
  
"Odine, I swear to god . . ." Seifer pulled off his leather gloves and stared at that damn little turquoise orb, "I'm gonna kill you."  
  
"Vhat, vhat? You vant fisticuffs! I vill be happy to take zis outside!"   
  
"I'm sure you would." Seifer replied, chuckling at Odine. He wouldn't have a fucking chance. "Anyways, Dr. Smartass Odine, how do you propose I pick it up without burning my hand?"   
  
"Vow." Odine exclaimed, "You really *are* an idiot."  
  
"What now?"  
  
"Don't you know zat ze trainink is to teach you to overcome ze burnink, not to stop it from burnink?" Odine sighed and turned up his pointy nose.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about, old man?" Seifer stood up and stared threateningly at him.  
  
"Ze intense magical powvers vill alvays burn you." Odine explained, "You must learn ze discipline to hold it in your hand vithout droppink it."  
  
"What!?" Seifer hollered, "You want me to burn my god damn hand off, don't you!"  
  
"No, zough zat vould be entertainink to see." Odine giggled madly, "It is ze only vay. If I can do it, so can you."  
  
"You're a liar."  
  
"I'll pick it up."  
  
"Then pick it up." Seifer dared him. He was sure Odine couldn't do it.  
  
"I vill." Odine walked over to the table where the orb sat. Seifer loomed over the five-foot Odine menacingly. Odine reached over to the orb camly, not intimidated in the least, and picked it up, holding it tightly in his fist. "Zere. I picked it up. Now you try."  
  
Seifer stared at him in shock. How could this little twerp . . . "Fine. If you can do it, so can I."   
  
"Just as I said." Odine put it back down and walked back to his seat at the other side of the room with a smug smirk on his face.  
  
Seifer reached over to to the ball and grabbed it. It seemed even hotter now, and he again dropped it, hissing.  
  
"Again. Pick it up."   
  
"I don't want to pick it up!"  
  
"Pick it up!"  
  
"I don't want to pick it up!!"  
  
"PICK IT UP!" Though Odine's voice was high-pitched, it boomed through the lab.  
  
"*Fine.* But this is that last time." Sefier grabbed it again, in his left hand this time, and held it in his fist. His eyes watered. It felt like his hand would explode.   
  
Finally, after a painful eternity, Odine commanded, "Now drop it."  
  
The ball fell on to the table with a little 'clink.' Seifer looked at his hand. There was a blistering red circle in the middle of his palm. "I can't believe this." He muttered.   
  
Odine walked over and took the ball again, attaching it to a silver chain. "You vill vear zis around your neck at all times. It vill only burn you if it touches your skin. Hold it in your fist for thirty seconds and picture the person vhose body you vish to enter. Vhen you open your eyes, you vill be zere. I or the sorceress vill bring you back into your own body."  
  
"That's it? I passed the test?"  
  
"Yes. I vill leave now. You must practice. If you succeed, we will be back soon to return you to your body."  
  
"Fine. Just get out of here." Seifer picked up the orb by the chain and put it around his neck.   
  
After hearing Odine's muttering about "my damn laboratory and he's bossink me around . . ." and the door slamming, Seifer lay back on the pillowless gourney and closed his eyes, readying himself for his next attempt. After a few seconds, he took the ball into his hand (Damn it, it burned) and began to count the seconds: *One . . . two . . .three . . .*  
  
  
  
  



	6. Ignus

C h a p t e r 6  
I g n u s  
  
When Irvine finally managed to make it to the cafeteria, he found Selphie sitting at a table in the far back corner, playing a game of cards with Zell. Zell, who looked particularly depressed slouching in his seat across from her, was the one who recognized him with a haphazard wave of his hand.   
  
*What's he doing here?* Irvine sauntered over, tipping his hat and winking at Selphie, and grabbed the corner seat, leaned back, and stretched out his legs under the table. Selphie glanced and him and then looked back at her cards to avoid his gaze, unable to hide an embarassed little smile. "Good morning Irvine. You're late."  
  
"Yeah, well, you know, I got caught up shooing all my other lady-friends from my room." He replied casually.   
  
"Oh, of course. You are so obnoxious." Selphie replied, smiling again. He was obviously joking, but sometimes she wasn't so sure. She placed a geezard card on the table and flipped over two others. "Booyaka!"  
  
"Don't even bother sayin' 'hi' to *me*, you slut." Zell interrupted jokingly, adding a bomb card to the square and flipping over a red bat.  
  
"So what's wrong with you today?" Irvine asked sacastically, "Miss out on the hotdogs again?"  
  
Zell sighed, "Yeah." His head rested on his hands and he looked exhausted.   
  
Irvine tried to disguise a grin. Could someone get that worked up over a dumb hotdog? Yeah, Zell could. The guy was a wierdo. "I may be a slut, guy, but at least I'm gettin' some."  
  
"You are not." Selphie giggled. "What a liar."  
  
"Whatever." Zell replied, not budging his head from where it rested in his hands.   
  
"Holy shit, man! You sounded just like Squall for a minute!" Irvine leaned forward a bit, "You're the last person I thought would ever --"  
  
"I'm just tired." Another Squall-ism.  
  
Selphie, wide-eyed, reached over their game on her tiptoes and rapped him lightly on the head with her nuckles a couple times, "Hello?. . . .Squall, you in there?" She giggled. "I think you've been hanging around him too much."  
  
Zell looked up at her, "Fuck off."  
  
Selphie fell back into her chair. " . . . What did you just say?" The rims of her bottom eyelids became shimmery.  
  
Zell didn't move, just stared at the table, where he put down a card and flipped over three. "I win."  
  
"I'm outta here." Selphie said shakily. She stood up, nearly knocking her chair over, and hurried from the cafeteria.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Irvine leaned on the table and eyed him angrily.  
  
"Not my fault she's a sore loser." Zell refused to look up at him, busying himself with picking up the cards one by one and placing them in their box.  
  
"I'm not talking about that, you idiot!" Irvine exclaimed, "Do you realize what you just said? To sensitive little Selphie? You *know* you shouldn't say shit like that!"  
  
Zell remained silent. Truthfully, he felt quite guilty, but he refused to admit it.  
  
"She didn't even do anything to you, you asshole. I'll bet you made her cry."  
  
More silence.  
  
"If I find out you did, I'm gonna come back here and make *you* cry."  
  
Zell looked at him, *stared* at him, and held up an iron-nuckled fist. "Try it."  
  
Irvine shook his head tensely in anger, stood up, slamming his chair into the table loudly, and went to look for Selphie. If he'd stayed a second longer, he'd have popped Zell one right in the face. That or shot him.   
  
  
  
*~¨~*  
  
  
  
Squall lay silently on the grass ouside the dorm hallway, in the shade of a small crabapple tree. He'd gone to his room after leaving the Infirmary, became bored out of his mind within fifteen minutes, and left to hop the railing into one of the small grassy gardens. A garden in the Garden. Now he remembered where the place got it's name.  
  
He used to come here often a few years ago, when he was younger and had so few responsibilities. A glance at the blue sky above him and a whiff of the warm sea breeze were all he needed to start relaxing. He pretended he was twelve again, his only worry an upcoming test that he knew he would ace. He aced 'em all when he was a kid and knew he was good, though he kept this small amount of arrogance to himself.  
  
When he was a kid. A kid? He could hear Rinoa's voice in his head now: *"How old are you, Squall? Seventeen? You're still a teenager! Have some fun!"*  
  
*Yeah, right.* He had been forced to become an adult now, just like Rinoa, and Zell, and Quistis, and Selphie, and Seifer . . . . Seifer. Squall didn't even want to *think* about him.  
  
As if it came directly from that thought, Squall found that he was getting another headache. *Great.* He put a hand behind his head and pulled out a couple hard crabapples from beneath it, but that wasn't it. The headache grew from the back of his head to behind his eyes and he sat up, thinking maybe it had something to do with how he was lying. That wasn't it either. It began to burn. His eyes were burning and he closed them, then his lungs, his whole head. *I can't breathe.* he realized, beginning to panic. It spread to the tips of his fingers and all the way to his feet. *My whole body's on fire . . .* He collapsed backwards onto the grass, heaving short, panicy breaths and hitting his head off the tree trunk.  
  
~Well, you're gonna have to.~  
  
"What??" he whispered.  
  
~You're gonna have to think about me, Squall. You're gonna have to because I'm right here. ~  
  
Squall placed a hand on his forehead and opened his eyes to inspect his surroundings. Seifer? He was here? How did he . . .  
  
~I'm not in the Garden, you retard. I'm in your head.~  
  
"What!?"  
  
A girl walking by looked strangely at him. "I didn't say anything . . ." It sounded like Selphie, but he wasn't sure. He couldn't see.  
  
Squall opened and closed his burning eyes, struggling to see. He heard tiny steps made with clunky boots go down that hall. Then longer strides, boots with clicking heels. "Selphie, wait up . . ." He heard. He wanted to call out for help, but he coundn't find a breath to do so.   
  
~Aww, does that hurt, Squall? You're breaking my heart.~  
  
*What?*  
  
~That's me. That's me making it burn. Like how it feels? I feel that every day. Every time I think about YOU.~  
  
*What!???*  
  
~Soon I'll be controlling you, too.~   
  
*Hyne damn it, I'm having a nervous fucking breakdown. . . .*  
  
~And if you tell anyone, I'll kill you. And your little girly-firend, too.~  
  
Without thinking first, or understanding a thing, Squall whispered, "Where's Ellone?"~Somewhere in the Central Sea. In a tiny boat. No food, no water, unless you count salt water, which'll kill her even faster . . .~  
  
"Wait . . . why the hell are you telling me? What are you *doing*?? I don't understand . . . I don't even believe you . . ."  
  
~She is of no use to us anymore. Believe me if you want. I don't care. Your choice.~  
  
"And . . .what's wrong with . . . Rinoa?" It was becoming harder and harder to breathe.  
  
~All I know is that she'll never wake up.~  
  
"Liar!" Squall was spinning now. Or everything was spinning around him. He couldn't tell.  
  
~As I said, I don't care if you believe me. ~  
  
Before he could utter another question, he blacked out.  
  
  
  
  



	7. Vigil

C h a p t e r 7  
V i g i l  
  
As soon a Selphie was past the swinging doors of the cafeteria, she began to cry. She made her way back to her dorm room, trying to hide her face as she rubbed her eyes with her palms. *What did I do to him? I was just kidding around. I didn't know that . . .that he hated me so much . . .*  
  
From her right, she suddenly heard Squall's voice, "What?"   
  
She stopped and looked over to where he lay under a crabapple tree, replying, "I didn't say anything." He ignored her.   
  
*He must be talking in his sleep. Oh well.* She continued on her way, hearing Irvine's boots clicking on the floor behind her.   
  
"Selphie, wait up!" he called. She didn't; just kept moving until she found her door and let it slam behind her. *Please don't let him bother me, please . . .* she prayed as she flopped onto her bed. *He'll probably just waltz right in here --*  
  
She was interrupted by a soft knock at her door. "Can I come in?" Irvine, of course.   
  
"I'm surprised you knocked." She squeaked.  
  
"Well, you know," His voice was muffled by the dense wood, "I try to be a gentleman, and you won't even let me i-"  
  
"It's unlocked." She mumbled.  
  
"Is that an invitation?"  
  
"I guess so." She buried her face in her pillow.  
  
Irvine opened the door quietly. He was surprised at the strong pity he felt as soon as he saw her shaking shoulders and heard her little sniffles. Usually he would have been congratulating himself for managing to get into such a cutle girl's bedroom. And then he'd start getting pushy, hoping for a no-strings-attached lay.   
  
He sat down on the edge of her bed, leaning on one hand, and tried to think of what to say.   
  
"Um . . . don't ask me what's wrong with Zell. He's being a complete asshole."  
  
"I . . . noticed." She turned her head the other way, staring at the wall, and broke out in another cluster of little sobs.   
  
Irvine touched her back gingerly, afraid he might break her shuddering form, and whispered, "Don't think he hates you, though. He must just be in a bad mood."  
  
"I think he's always hated me and he just let me know today cuz he's in a bad mood."  
  
"Why don't I tell you a secret?"   
  
"What kinda secret?" Selphie's quiet sobs began to subside as her attention peaked, just as Irvine had hoped. He knew she was a slave for gossip.  
  
"I think Zell has a crush on Rinoa." He grinned as she turned her adorable tear-streaked face and brightening emerald eyes to him. Bingo.  
  
"Are you serious?"  
  
"It makes perfect sense. Cuz you know what?"   
  
"What?"  
  
"I saw him go to the infirmary last night during my watch. And he didn't leave before I went to bed at two. That's why he's so tired and cranky today."  
  
"Your watch?" Selphie propped herself up on an elbow, "What's that?"  
  
"Oh, you know, I sit by the elevators, walk around the hallways, making sure everything's okay at night. I'm a night person. Trained myself that way. Only need four hours o' sleep a night."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well . . . sharpshooters usually do their thing at night, under the cover of darkness," he explained with exageratted coolness, making Selphie giggle, "So I gotta be alert when I'm shootin'. Can't be tired or else I might miss."  
  
"Ah. I see."  
  
"Mmhm."  
  
There was an awkward silence, and then Selphie sat up on her knees. "I can't believe he likes Rinoa." It was obvious the new knowledge was making her quite giddy.   
  
"Just don't tell anyone about my little theory, ok? Especially Squall."  
  
"Secret's safe with me." She pretended to zip up her lips and then handed him an imaginary key.   
  
He took it and dropped it in the inside left pocket of his overcoat. "Thanks." Damn she's cute.   
  
~*"Squall, please report to the Infirmary immediately. Can you hear me? Wake up and get moving."*~ It was Quistis, speaking over the P. A.   
  
Selphie smiled. "He's sleeping in the garden beside the hallway."  
  
"I know; I saw him. Guess I should go wake him up." Irvine stood up and headed for the door.  
  
"Can I come?"  
  
"Of course, m'lady, right this way." He opened the door and held it for her, gesturing out into the hallway with his other arm.  
  
"Why thank you." Selphie said demurely, prancing past him. He couldn't help but watch that little butt wiggle.   
  
"What are you smiling about?" She asked as they began to walk.  
  
"Absolutely nothing." He replied, trying to hide the smirk and sticking out his elbow. She hooked hers around it.   
  
"No, really."   
  
"You really want to know?"  
  
Selphie nodded.  
  
"Promise you won't get mad?"  
  
"Irvine, what is it?"  
  
"You have a really adorable behind."  
  
"Of *course* I do!" She winked. "I already knew that!"  
  
Irvine laughed, "I figured."  
  
It was then that they came to where Squall lay, still asleep. Selphie leaned over the rail, her feet losing contact with the floor so she could reach far enough to tug on his sleeve.   
  
"Squall, wake up!" He didn't move. She leaned a little further to tug harder, and Irvine placed a hand on her back to guard her from toppling over to the other side. "Squall, wake up!" Still, he didn't acknowledge her. "I didn't know he was such a sound sleeper."   
  
"Neither did I." Irvine replied. Selphie lifted one leg over the edge, then another, and landed on her rear on the ground.   
  
"That's the *third* time I've ended up on my bum because of you!" She exclaimed to Squall.  
  
"You okay?" Irvine asked from above her.  
  
"Yup." She replied. She crouched beside Squall and patted his face, "Hey, SQUALL, wake UP!" No response. They both began to worry.  
  
Irvine climbed over the rail with one swift movement, and slapped him hard in the face. "Wake the hell up, man!"  
  
"Okay, he's still not moving." Selphie said, panic rising in her throat. Irvine was feeling the same way, but kept it to himself. He lifted her up and sat her on the edge of the rail.   
  
"Selphie, I want you to go to find Quistis or Dr. Kadowaki." He instructed seriously, "If the're not in the infirmary, check Cid's office. If you see anyone from our squad, tell them to look, too. Got it?"  
  
"Um . . .yes . . .is he okay?"  
  
"Probably. I just want you to do this as a precaution."  
  
"Alright, I'm on it!" Selphie exclaimed enthusiastically, feeling very important. She swung her legs back over the rail and hurried down the hallway.  
  
Irvine turned back to Squall. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he mumbled as he checked Squall's pulse, "You're scaring the shit outta Selphie." He had one, which was very, very good, but he was warm. Irvine took off his own gloves and felt his forehead. The guy was freakin' *burning!* "What the hell . . ."  
  
Irvine turned around to see Zell running towards him.  
  
"Hey! . . . Selphie told me about Squall." He leaned over the rail. "Look, man, I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know what got into-"  
  
"I don't give a flying shit about that right now." Irvine interrupted, "Help me carry him to the Infirmary."  
  
"What's wrong with him?"  
  
"I don't know. He's got a killer fever though." Irvine got hold of Squall's arms, while Zell reached over and grabbed his feet.   
  
As they hauled him over the rail, Zell asked, "Do you think it could be what Rinoa's got? Like a real bad flu or somethin'?"  
  
"No." Irvine jumped back over the rail and put one of Squall's arms over his shoulders, while Zell took care of the other. "Rinoa's really cold." Irvine explained, "Squall's got a fever. Can't be the same thing."  
  
"Guess not." Zell admitted as they started to make their way down the hall. He felt incredibly uncomfortable around Irvine after what he had said. He still couldn't understand what had posessed him to be such an asshole. "Mmph. Damn it Squall, you're heavy."  
  
Along the way, the students the passed stopped to help them. They looked up to Squall, everyone did, and though they had no idea what was going on, they continued to support him. By the time they reached the infirmary, about ten other students were helping out.   
  
"Thanks for all your help, guys." Zell said as they reached their destination, "I've gotta ask ya to leave now, and go back to what you were doin'. Can't have a crowd when Dr. Kadowaki's workin'." The others let go and began to leave.  
  
"But we'll make sure (mmph) an announcement's made when we find out what's goin' on." Irvine added before they made their way through the Infirmary doors. His words were followed by understanding nods and footsteps.  
  
"Good luck. Get well soon, mister Squall." Said one of the junior classmen, before he walked away.  
  
  
  
  



	8. Licenzaire La Croce

C h a p t e r 8  
L i c e n z i a r e l a c r o c e  
  
*The other kids are ignoring me. No, not again . . . they're all going down to the beach to set off fireworks and no one even told me. They don't even act like they know I'm here . . .*  
  
The five-year-old Seifer Almasy leaned on a cool, hard stone window sill, watching the tiny orange flicker far below him. There was laughing, giggling, the sudden whines and sobs of a certain blond little boy. "We're gonna get in trouble . . . . I'm telling! I'm gonna tell on yoo!"  
  
"Go back to bed cwybaby." The skinny blonde-haired girl down there stood up and put her hands on her hips.   
  
"Yeah! Go away crybaby Zell!" A tinier girl looked over at him and pulled on her boy-cut brown hair, twirling it between her little fingers.  
  
"Cry-baby-Ze-el, cry-baby-Ze-el!" another began to chant. All but one of the others soon joined in. The blond boy turned and ran back up the stone steps to the orphanage, unable to handle their jeers. Seifer looked down at them all and laughed. Seeing the little chicken cry always cracked him up.   
  
He then found a pair of silent grey eyes staring at him from far below. He squinted and stared right back: Squall.   
  
Seifer held a sort of angry, intense staring contetst for a while, but it was soon interrupted by a thud and a squeak behind him. Whipping around, he found that stupid Zell boy bawling his eyes out on the bed. Looked like Zell didn't know he was there. Seifer walked over to him and kicked him in the side, causing a little squeak and more sobs to emit from him. "Shut up." he demanded.   
  
"Leeme lone." Replied the boy.  
  
Seifer kicked him again, harder this time. Zell coughed and tried to hide his tears, but it wasn't working. After one more kick, he managed to hold his breath and keep quiet long enough for Seifer to walk away, the words "That's better." Echoing quietly behind him.  
  
  
Swirling colours mixed with pain as Seifer returned to where he belonged. He instantly let go of the orb, and it fell onto his chest with a tiny thump. Opening his eyes, he recognized the white ceiling of Odine's lab, the last thing he'd seen before he'd closed them. An evil, satisfied grin spread across his face.   
  
*Success.*  
  
"I see you've gotten the hang of it."   
  
Seifer turned his head to see Mayaden's black and red robes. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "Uh . . . yes, I guess so." He closed his eyes to think for a second about what had happened. *The chicken wuss . . .Squall . . .My childhood?*  
  
"What did you do?" Mayaden asked him, doubting that he would have accomplished anything important on his first try.   
  
"First I was in another guy, Zell's head. I could barely control him. My presence just put him in a bad mood. I couldn't control Squall either. I could only talk." He replied, disappointed and a little angry. "You lied . . ."  
  
"I did *not* lie. I didn't know what would happen. Besides, this was your first try. You *will* do better next time." She sat down on a chair beside him.  
  
"I don't know how to *do* it."  
  
"Well," Mayaden handed him a piece of paper, "You had better figure it out because I'm expecting you to gather the correct information by the end of this week."  
  
"*What?*" Seifer's eyes widened. It was a list of a hundred or more things she needed to know. He couldn't believe this.  
  
"Doctor Odine tells me it will take twice as long for you to accomplish anything, but I think you can do it. As I said, I believe in you."  
  
*I can't do it. I'll never . . . she wants too much from me. . .*   
  
Suddenly there was an icy hand around Seifer's choker and Mayaden's arctic eyes only a few inches from his own.   
  
"You *will* do what I ask." She said. He could feel her cold breath on his lips. She was so close. The hand around his choker began to twist, tightening, suffocating.  
  
"I . . . I will . . ." Seifer managed to say, willing to tell her anything to escape her death-grip. She was surprisingly strong when one thought of her frail appearance, but the magic she posessed stronlgly made up for it.  
  
*I have to do this. I can't disappoint her. She'll be so mad at me . . . *  
  
Her hand was still twisting, still suffocating. Then, she suddenly threw him to the gourney with insane strength. His body hit it and then rolled off it, and he smacked his head off the floor. With a hand at his throat, he gasped in breath after breath. Mayaden walked around to the other side of the gourney, staring down at him.   
  
"You are a disgrace." She muttered, "You will never be disrespectful to me again."  
  
Seifer looked up at her, but remained silent. *What did I do?*  
  
Mayaden only chuckled evilly and left with short silent strides.   
  
After a few minutes, Seifer pulled himself to his feet. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how he'd manage to do what Mayaden asked in the allowed time or what she'd do if he didn't. He began to make his way out of the lab to the elevators, staring at the floor, angry and frustrated.   
  
*It's always been my dream to serve a sorceress. Now that I am . . . . I don't want to be.*   
  
He stopped suddenly. That thought had never crossed his mind before. *Is this no longer my dream? Fuck, I'm so confused. I don't know what to think.* Just then, a guard bumped into him. He grabbed the front of the man's shirt and threw him against a wall, making a loud, sickening thud. The man slid down to the floor. Seifer had knocked him out.  
  
"Serves ya right," Seifer muttered, not giving the man another glance as he headed for his quarters.   
  
  
  
  



	9. Exitate vos e Somono

C h a p t e r 9  
E x i t a t e v o s e S o m n o   
  
Qusitis turned toward the Infirmary door when she heard it open. At the sight of the three men entering, her first thought was, *Oh Squall, what have you done now?* She and Dr. Kadowaki instantly ran over and helped move Squall to the bed in the small room beside Rinoa's.   
  
"What happened?" Quistis asked, moving out of Kadowaki's way.   
  
Irvine shook his head. "No clue. Me 'n Selphie found him layin' in the grass, and he wouldn't wake up. Hey-where *is* Selphie, anyhow?"  
  
"She told me she-" but Zell was interrupted by the door slamming open. Selphie raced in, out of breath.   
  
"Oh! You guys are all here." She gasped, "I was in the office looking for Quistis. Any luck with him?"  
  
"We just got him here." Irvine replied.  
  
"He has a temperaure of one hundred and five." Dr. Kadowaki interrupted, "If it doesn't go down, he could die."  
  
"*What??*" Quistis exclaimed. She had no idea it could be this serious.   
  
The others looked equally alarmed. Quistis leaned over and felt his head, positive Kadowaki was mistaken. He didn't even feel that warm. "What are you talking about? It doesn't seem that bad."  
  
Kadowaki checked her guages, "No, wait-it's one down to one hundred . . . ninety eight-point-six . . . What the hell is going on here?"  
  
"He gonna be okay?" Selphie squeaked from her place in the corner. She was freaking out. Irvine walked over to her and put his and on her shoulder, hoping to calm her down.   
  
"I . . . I guess so." Dr. Kadowaki replied, heaving a sigh of relief. "I have no idea what could have caused this . . ."  
  
" . . . but he's still not awake." Quistis added, "We're not free and clear yet."  
  
"That's right," Kadowaki agreed, "I'll keep an eye on him and try to figure out what's wrong with him. Why don't you people check out the place where you found him, see if you can find any clues?"  
  
"I'm staying." Zell replied matter-of-factly. No one argued.  
  
"I'll go." said Irvine.  
  
"Can I come?" Selphie asked, peering up at him.  
  
"Sure."  
  
The pair headed out the door.  
  
"I guess I'll stay put too." Quistis sat down on a stool and looked on as Kadowaki poked and prodded Squall's pale, lifeless fom, getting nowhere.  
  
Zell stood in the doorway between the to rooms, occasionally glancing from Rinoa's bed to Squall's. *Are we all gonna end up like this?* He wondered, *I bet it's the sorceress' fault. Seifer left with that other sorceress bitch at the end of the last battle . . . I'll bet it's her fault. Or Seifer's fault. I hate that bastard . . .* He began to shadow box with the wall in his anger, concentrating, *First Rinoa, cute, innocent little Rinoa . . . now Squall? He's a good guy, he doesn't deserve thi-*  
  
". . . . Zell?" said a small voice behind him. He whipped around, eyes wide.   
  
"Holy shit!" He exclaimed, running over to Rinoa's bed and hugging her, "Guys! She's awake!"  
  
"I never thought you'd be so happy to see me . . ." Rinoa whispered, a tiny smile on her thin rose lips. "What happened?"  
  
Zell let go of her, sighing, "I was hoping you would know."  
  
Quistis peeked her head around the corner. "Hey there," she said, smiling. For some reason the smile felt . . . *fake*, as though she were disappointed. She scolded herself for thinking that Rinoa's unconciousness would be an opportunity to take Squall as her own. *I can't believe I wanted her 'out of the way'. I'm so selfish.*   
  
Rinoa's face suddenly changed from shy smiles to intense worry as she looked past Zell and Quistis into the next room. "Wha . . . what happened to Squall?" She glanced back and forth from Squall to Zell, hoping for the best but fearing the worst.  
  
"Uh, well . . . . we don't know." Zell replied quietly, hoping not to shake her to much, "We found him laying in the grass outside the dorm hallway a few minutes ago, and he was just . . . out."  
  
"Just . . .out?" Rinoa echoed, again staring into the other room. Suddenly her sad eyes filled with weak determination. She struggled push her tired self up, emitting a little groan, until she sat on the edge of the bed, her feet dangling a few inches above the floor. "I'm - I'm gonna go see him."  
  
"Rinoa, you can't." Quistis interrupted in the best authoritative voice she could muster, "You're obviously too weak. Just . . . lay there. You can see him from here."  
  
"Yeah," Zell agreed, adding slyly, "We wouldn't want you passing out and whacking that perfect little nose of yours off the floor, now would we?"  
  
Rinoa smiled a little at the compliment, but didn't change her mind. She slid off the bed until her feet touched the floor. She wabbled and stood, then made her way over to Squall, soon getting the hang of walking again. "This isn't so hard. I'm fine, guys."  
  
Zell watched silently as she passed him and sat down beside his teammate, taking hold of his hand. His chest felt heavy, his gloved fists balling, making leather creak against sweaty leather. *She's your friend, Zell. Don't get hung up like this. You'll find someone else,* he told himself as he stared. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. *But when she smiled at me . . . *   
  
"Doesn't it figure," Quistis whispered to him quietly as she watched the pair in the other room, oblivious to his hidden outburst, "That when Rinoa finally woke up, Squall's down for the count?"  
  
"It's a little ironic." He replied, watching them as well. Rinoa just sat there quietly. He couldn't see her face.   
  
"Why don't we give her some privacy?" Quistis closed the door softly and made her way to the exit, "I'm off to the bridge to see if everything's ok." *Why wouldn't everything be ok?* She asked herself, *Oh, I forgot, it's just an excuse to get out of here.* She left silently.  
  
"Okay." Zell mumbled mindlessly, now staring at the floor. Realizing he was wasting time feeling sorry for himself, he poked his head into the next room and told Rinoa lightly, "Hey, um . . . I'm gonna go down to the training centre to blow of some steam."  
  
Rinoa turned around on the stool. "Steam from want?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno . . ." Zell fumbled, surprised she bothered to care about him at a time like this, "I'm just feelin' kinda restless."  
  
"Well, see ya later, then. Be careful."   
  
She turned back around and faced Squall, then heard the Infirmary door open and close. "Now I know how you must have felt," she whispered to the sleeping form infront of her, "when I was like this. If you feel the same way I do, that is. About me. Er - about you. Not that I even make any sense." She sighed, then starightened her back. "Squall, I'm going to give you to the count of three to open your darn eyes."   
  
She smiled and felt her own eyes getting teary with worry. "One . . . . Two . . . . Three!" Rinoa stared at him for a few seconds, then sighed loudly. He hadn't moved an inch.  
  
"You jerk." she said, half-angrily, lightly punching his shoulder. "I can't believe you."  
  
Rinoa glanced out the window, then saw movement from the corner of her eye. Startled, she glanced back at Squall. His eyelids were slightly moving. She took this as a miraculously positive sign, and began to squeeze his hand.   
  
"Squall??"  
  
"Uhrgnff." he replied quietly as his eyes opened in tiny slits.  
  
Rinoa's face lit up. She felt happier than she'd ever been. Without thinking first, she flopped onto his chest and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, thank Hyne!"  
  
As Squall came to, he was surprised by the sudden feeling of weight on his chest, then the soft scent of something like honey mixed with wildflowers.   
  
*Rinoa??* He opened his eyes wide with a start and looked down to see the light blue and painted white wings of her pullover, and reached one hand slowly up to touch her soft black hair. *This has to be another dream.* He was practically in shock.  
  
"I'm so glad you're ok." she said quietly. At the sound of the voice it seemed he hadn't heard in years, Squall brought up his other arm and held her as tightly to him as possible. *-You're- glad? I was going to have a heart-attack.* Rinoa buried her face between his neck and his shoulder. They remained like that for quite a while.  
  
"Rinoa!?" Dr. Kadowaki had returned, "Squall!? You two are okay?"  
  
The pair jerked apart uncomfortably. "Yup." Rinoa answered giddily.   
  
"Do you know what happened to you? Either of you?" Both teens shook their heads. Kadowaki sighed. "Another mystery unsolved."   
  
"How did I end up here?" Squall asked,  
  
"Well," Kadowaki began to explain, "Selphie and that boy Irvine found you in the grass beside the dorm hallway-"  
  
* The dorm hallway . . . the fire . . .* "Seifer." Squall mumbled, memories of the experience finally returning to him.  
  
  



	10. Il Mio Cielo Finale

C h a p t e r 1 0  
I l M i o C i e l o F i n a l e  
  
The damp, hot, climate-controlled air in the jungle-like training center was all Zell Dincht needed to get in the mood for some ass-whoopin'. As he walked through the first area he let punches fly through the heavy air, periodically emitting a soft hiss, looking for any type of trouble he could find, begging a grat or a t-rexaur to come out and let him do his thing.  
  
Just then, an oversized, uglier-than-usual grat dared to skitter into his path. He stared at it, smirked, and took off his jacket, tying it around his waist. "You want some?" he asked it, oblivious to the fact that it's intelligence was about nil and it wouldn't understand a word he said. Despite this, it must have gotten the jyst of his idea: it hisssed and chattered at him, waving its four long branch-tentacles in the air menacingly. It was ready to attack.   
  
"You don't know what you're getting-" He dodged one of it's long arms by jumping to the side, "-yourself into-" and took the opportunity to throw a few punches into it's soft, leafy body, "-my flowered friend." The creature hissed at him in pain and anger.   
  
"Oh, are we getting a little riled up now? I see. Givin' up?" He laughed at the thing. Grats really *were* stupid. It didn't back off. In fact, it tried to hit him again, and this time barely missed his left arm. "Ok." Zell cracked his nuckles and took his trademark defensive-offensive stance, "It's on now."  
  
He jumped at the grat and began to ream on it pitilessly. After receiving several ruthless punches, it began to skitter backwards. "That's what I thought." Zell kicked it swiftly as a kind goodbye, when suddenly he began to see shimmery, white spots infront if his eyes. "You little bastard!" he exclaimed as it skittered off into the foliage, then hissed to himself, "The hell did these things start usin' blind spells!?"   
  
He stumbled backwards in his quickly clouding vision until his back hit the trunk of a palm tree at the side of the path. "Hyne damn it." He groaned as he slid down to the dusty ground and blinked around blindly at his surroundings, the spell now having taken full effect.   
  
"Esuna," he whispered, his hands covering his eyes, hoping he still had a few of the spell left. Nothing happened. He must have used them up in the battles at Galbadia garden. "Esuna!" he cried desperately. Still nothing. "Fuck."  
  
He sighed and tried to think of what to do. He didn't know how long it would be before someone passed by to help him, and if he got up to *search* for help, he could get his defenseless ass whooped by even a little grat, or, in the worst case scenario, a t-rexaur.  
  
Noticing he was sweating like a snow-lion in the tropics, he pulled off his tank top, used it to wipe the beads of sweat from his forehead, and shoved it in the big left pocket of his cargos. A second later he heard footsteps. Heavy, thudding, long-strided footsteps, not very far away. Then a low but screeching roar. The thudding steps of a t-rexaur were getting closer.  
  
"Not good," Zell said shakily, the volume of his whisperes gradually intensifying, "This is definitely not good!" He stood, moving sideways a few steps to lean further backwards agianst the rusting, vine-covered chain-link fence. He blinked continuously, subconciously trying to clear the darkness from his eyes and remained perfectly still, his breaths shaky and shallow with fear.   
  
*A defenseless meal. The best kind. "The chicken-wuss can't even defend himself."* The memory of Seifer's mean nickname flooded into his mind, his panicy brain adding more words, *"Can't even try to defend yourself. What a pity. Looks like we're having chicken for dinner tonght! Chic-ken-to-night! Chic-ken-to-night!!"*  
  
"No! We ain't havin' no fuckin' chicken tonight!" He exclaimed, instantly regretting the outburst. It must have heard him. The footsteps were closer, and he could feel the ground shaking under his feet with every one. He gripped the chain-links on either side of him with white-nuckled fingers, back pressed hard against the fence, every muscle in his body tense with adrenalin, ready to run --   
  
A hot breeze stinking of animal flesh and plain death blew onto his face, making him cringe. He knew that smell: t-rexaur breath. *It's - right - there - infront - of - my - face.* A scream lingered in the back of his throat, begging to be let out. But he refused to give in to the panic, refused to run. The monster would run right after him and promply bite his head off like an hors deurve.  
  
It roared. Deafeningly. Zell didn't think as his right fist flew up, and punched it straight in the nose. There was another roar, and it reared backwards. Taking the opportunity, Zell ran with arms outstretched, thankful he hadn't completely lost his sense of direction, and scurried down the steel bridge and through a pair of heavy steel doors, into the safety of the side hallway. He fell to his knees, shaky legs unable to hold him up, plams on cool linoleum, and, unable to control himself, screamed his terrified heart out.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Irvine and Selphie couldn't find a damn thing at the spot where they'd found Squall. They searched through the grass for some sort of miniature, poisonous bite bug, for anything on which they could place the blame.  
  
Making their way back to the infirmaty with heavy hearts, they heard a scream coming from the direction of the training centre. They looked at each other questioningly and without a word, made their way there.   
  
"Zell??" Selphie hurried over to him as soon as she saw him, forgetting her grudge against him. He was shaking, on his hands and knees, now silent.   
  
As she kneeled beside him, he said with a cracking voice, "Uh . . . hi."  
  
"What happened to you? And what happened to your shirt!?"  
  
Zell stood up and began to bounce on his toes, acting as normal as possible. *I'm not a chicken, I'm not a chicken . . .* "I almost got my head bit off by a t-rexaur, but don't sweat it. I'm okay."  
  
Irvine noticed something strange about Zell's eyes. They . . . didn't move. He held up his fist. "Zell, how many fingers am I holding up?"  
  
Zell stopped. He still couldn't see and was hoping he could hide it from them until he could find some Esuna spells or eye drops. *They can't know . . . can't know I'm a wuss.* He did his best to look over in Irvine's direction. "Uh . . . three?"   
  
"You can't see, can you?" Selphie asked, looking at him oddly, "Why didn't you tell us?"  
  
Zell just shrugged, "I figured it'd wear off sooner or later."  
  
Selphie shook her head at him and placed a hand over his eyes. The soothing warmth of the esuna spell cascaded over his face like a warm blanket. His vision returned and he smiled at Selphie. "Thanks. Oh, I don't know if Irvine told you, but I'm real sorry about earlier this mornin'. Don't know what brought that on."  
  
Selphie smile back, "Don't worry about it. I know."  
  
"Be careful in there, ok man?" Irvine interrupted, "Don't get cocky just cuz you're a SeeD now." Selphie nodded in agreement.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Zell reached an arm around to scratch the back of his neck, "I'll remember that." His shakiness had subsided and the colour had returned to his face. *That's an experience I'll never forget.*  
  
"Alright, well, we might as well head back to the infirmary," Irvine suggested, "See how the others are doin'."  
  
They began to walk. "Oh! Rinoa woke up, by the way." Zell informed them, pulling his shirt back over his head.  
  
"What!?" Selphie's face became one giant smile, "That's great!" She hopped a few excited steps before returning into step with the others. Irvine couldn't help but smile as well at the good news.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
"Seifer?" Rinoa asked, "He's *here*?"  
  
"No, no . . ." Squall closed his eyes and tried to think. *"If you tell anyone I'll kill you." He said you'd never wake up Rinoa, he scared me so much . . .* "Never mind. He's not here. A dream . . ."  
  
"You dreamed he was here?"  
  
"I don't know." Squall lied. He knew what had happened, but he couldn't explain it. It was almost like when Ellone communicated with him.  
  
"Ellone! She's in the ocean! In a little boat. We have to find her!"  
  
"What!?" Rinoa was becoming more confused by the second.  
  
"I think he's dillusional." Kadowaki speculated.  
  
"I'm not dillusional." Squall retorted.  
  
"How do you know she's out there?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"I just know. I don't want to take the chance . . . " He sat up and put his feet on the floor.   
  
"Now just you wait a minute." Kadowaki put a firm hand on his shoulder, "You stay put. You've been through a lot, mister, and I don't want you hurting yourself."  
  
Squall pushed her hand away, but before he could stand up it was replaced by Rinoa's. "Doctor Kadowaki's right. You should rest."  
  
"No time. She could die . . . sis . . ." He stood and headed for the door. Rinoa trailed right after him.   
  
As he left the room, Rinoa promised, "Doctor Kadowaki, I'll watch him."  
  
"Alright; let me know if anything happens. Now go." Rinoa scurried out the door.   
  
"Squall, I'm worried about you." She said as she caught up to him, "What's going on?"  
  
"I can't tell you." *Oh, I wish I could . . . but I don't know what would happen.*  
  
"Why not? Don't you trust me?" Rinoa was genuinely worried now.  
  
"I - I trust you, it's not that." He replied as they headed into the main elevator.  
  
"If you trust me, you'll tell me." Rinoa crossed her arms as Squall pushed the button for the third floor and leaned back against the wall. "I won't tell anyone else. . . "  
  
"If you trust me you'll stop asking me to tell you. Let me use my own judgement." he retorted, "You'll undertand that this just isn't something you can know about right now."  
  
Okay, he has a point . . . "Squall, you're scaring everyone." *Me, most of all.*  
  
"That may be, but you'll just have to deal with it."  
  
Rinoa was silent. Squall turned to her and brushed her hair behind her shoulder, "I'm sorry."  
  
*He's talking about his feelings . . . slowly . . . I just have to support him.* "It's okay," She said reluctantly, "If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here."  
  
"I know."  
  
The elevator door opened and they stepped out. Rinoa followed Squall silently into the office and up the second elevator. "Nida, we're changing course."  
  
Quistis turned around from the window, "Squall! You're okay?"  
  
He nodded as a reply. Quistis couldn't hide the amazed expression on her face. This was wonderful!  
  
The dark-haired young man at the controls turned around and nodded. "Where to, sir?"  
  
Squall put a hand to his forehead, frustrated at himself, "I don't know. Just stay in the central sea and try to find a small boat. Like a row boat or something. Maybe a fishing boat."  
  
"Pardon me, sir, but . . . that's like . . . a needle in a haystack."  
  
"I know, just . . . just do what you can."  
  
"Yes sir." Nida saluted and turned back to the controls. This was a near impossible task.   
  
"Squall, you're being rediculous," Quistis interrputed, stepping up to him. "What on earth could you possibly be looking for?"  
  
"Sis."  
  
"Sis?" Quistis quieted her angered voice and asked, "But why would she be in the ocean?"   
  
"I can't tell you. I just know."  
  
"So you can't tell Quistis either?" Rinoa asked. Quistis was very surprised to hear that he wouldn't even tell Rinoa.  
  
"No! I've told you a million times I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it!" Squall's hands balled into fists and his eyes narrowed. The only time Quistis has seen him this angry was around Seifer, and it made her feel quite alarmed. *Could *he* . . . have something to do with this?* 


	11. Inandantia

C h a p t e r 11  
I n a n d a n t i a  
  
There were sparkles infront of Ellone's tired eyes as soon as she opened them. At first she had thought it was just because she had just woken up, but as she came to, she groggily sat up and found that it was really the sun reflecting on the waves around her tiny, lonely fishing boat.  
  
*I'm in the middle of the ocean.* she realized, having temporarily forgotten about her predicament. The vessel slowly rocked her back and forth, waves occasionally slapping quietly against the sides. She had spent the night on the hard wood floor, and was surprised that she had managed to fall asleep. Her eyes were swollen with the previous night's horrified tears as she was thrown, blindfolded, onto hard wood and felt the boat drift from the shore.   
  
Her wrists were swollen and red as well, from the ropes that had been tied around them. Last night, she had managed to wiggle out of them and pull off her blindfold, but still all she had seen was darkness.   
  
Now all she could see was water and cloudless sky. She sighed, and for a few minutes struggled not not cry again. She lay back on the floor, and tried to relax.   
  
*I have to talk to Squall,* she told herself, concentrating, like she always had when she needed help. She began to strain her mind, unable to make contact with him as usual. *They've taken my powers. They said they would and they did and now I'm completely helpless.* But she wouldn't feel sorry for herself. She *refused* to. *I'm gong to try . . . that's all I can do . . .*  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
When Seifer finally made it to his room (a small, windowless room on one of the lower floors), he threw his overcoat onto the bed and sat down beside it, resting his elbows on his knees. He spent a few minutes mulling over the sorceress' list of orders, and threw it to the floor in frustration. *How can she expect this of me??* He angrily reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the top drawer.   
  
"If anyone has a fuckin' problem with this, they can eat the rest of these." he mumbled as he pulled one out and lit it, striking a match on the side of the table. He whipped the pack back into the drawer and took a long, satisfying drag. It wasn't the actual cigarette that was satisfying -- actually he thought it tasted like shit -- it was the feeling of rebellion that it gave him. If he had been caught doing this at Balamb, he was sure he would have been kicked out. And now, after hearing endless 'It'll kill you blah blah blah's, doing something he generally wasn't supposed to offered him a small amount of comfort.   
  
Upon finishing it and butting it out right in the table, he lay back on the bed and again took hold of his magical turquoise pendant. *Okay, Squall, you're gonna get it now.*   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Selphie, Zell, and Irvine had been just as happy as anyone when they found out that Squall was all right. Rinoa had hurried past them without much explanation, seeming a little worried, her only words, "Have you seen Squall?" They hadn't, but she left them before anyone could reply, and didn't hear Selphie ask with disblief if he was awake. The trio watched her run through the doors to the Quad and shrugged at each other.  
  
Rinoa hurried down the shallow stairs to the Quad, not sure where Squall could be but refusing to quit looking until she found him. She knew she would either be yelled at or ignored when she did find him, niether of which she looked froward to, but she feared the possible concequences of letting him be alone too much to turn away.  
  
She was surprised when she found him, sitting by the crumbled edge of where the rail had been destroyed in their battle with Galbadia Garden. His legs dangled over the ledge as he watched the ocean or the sky or *something,* one really couldn't tell what. Seeing him sitting where a sudden gust of wind could blow him off and send him a hundred feet down into the ocean freaked Rinoa out a little, making her hurry a little more as she made her way over. "Squall?" her voice was tiny, fearful, as though she feared that even her breath could send him over the edge. He didn't reply -- didn't move either. "Look," she continued meekly, "I didn't mean to --"  
  
"Why do you keep bugging me?" his voice had the same ash-soft quality as usual, but with a hard edge. He didn't turn around.  
  
At this, Rinoa forgot about trying to keep her voice low. "*Bugging* you? Is that how you interpret the fact that I'm trying to show you that I actually *care*--"   
  
"That's not what I mean," Squall replied, frustrated, "I'm talking about how you won't stop interrogating me about whatever it was that happened. You just won't stop--you don't listen to a word I say."  
  
"I *do* listen to what you say. It's just that you barely *say anything.*"  
  
"You must be stupid then, because if you *understood* what I was saying you'd leave me alone about it!"  
  
"Never mind, Squall, I was wrong. You certainly said a lot just there." Rinoa's voice began to shake. *Did he just call me stupid??*  
  
"I'm glad you finally listened."  
  
Rinoa began to walk away. *That went well.* Squall thought. *Good job; you just ruined everything.*   
  
He heard a sort of choked squeak far behind him, and finally turned around to see Rinoa sitting on the steps about thirty feet away. Her face was buried in her hands and her shoulders quivered a couple times. *Oh, OH, WONDERFUL job, Squall, you made her cry. What a great guy you are.* He couldn't find the guts to go apologize. He didn't know what to say, or what she'd say *. . . Oh SHIT . . . the headache . . . burning, burning headache . . . .*  
  
It was less painful this time -- he didn't become dizzy or disoriented. But Seifer was still there, he words echoing angrily in his mind.  
  
~I'm gonna do this RIGHT this time.~  
  
*Leave me alone! I have enough problems! Don't you have anything better to do??*  
  
Seifer didn't reply. Squall began to feel a strange sort of sensation in his fingertips. He lifted his arms and looked at his hands. He watched them make fists, completely out of his control.  
  
*What the hell . . . .* His arms lowered. His eyes blinked and he found he could not keep them closed. His soon found himself in a standing position, his legs beginning to take confident steps toward Rinoa. He found he could not control the rhythm of his breathing, nor his mouth to utter a single word. He was completely under Seifer's control.   
  
~This is fun.~ Squall could almost hear Seifers cocky chuckle in his head.  
  
*Leave Rinoa alone!!*  
  
~Don't worry, Squall, She'll be well taken care of. Don't worry bout a thing.~  
  
  
  
  



	12. Rapture

C h a p t e r 1 2  
R a p t u r e  
  
Seifer realized that he hadn't seen Rinoa in almost a year. He'd seen her in battle, seen her as an enemy -- an insect in need of immediate squashing -- but he hadn't seen her as a person since the previous summer when he'd been privledged enough to call her 'his'. She had called him intelligent and caring, though he had never shown it in public. She had kissed him, though only once, but it had lingered within him for months after their heated argument and final goodbye. She had thought him too serious, and he her too flighty. Thus their relationship had ended with the slam of a door and the screeching of tires. Seifer had been infuriated with her, though he could not place his finger on the exact reason, until he'd practically forgotten about her.  
  
And here she was, twenty feet away, sobbing and in need of comfort. He no longer felt anger or resentment of her; only reminiscence and longing. There had always been something about her carefree attitude -- a film negative of his own -- that had drawn him to her. So, despite Squall's mental screams of protest, he went to her.   
  
Rinoa tried to wipe the tears from her face without showing that she was crying, in case Squall was looking. *What are you doing, Rinoa?* She scolded herslef, *You're sitting here in case he wants to come over and say sorry but you don't want him to know you're crying so he won't think you're weak but you want him to see you so he'll be really really sorry and feel horrible but at the same time you just want to be left alone but you won't get up and leave---*  
  
"Rinoa?" She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. He body jerked slightly in surprise.  
  
"Leave me alone." *What am I doing? No, stay here Squall, make me feel better.*   
  
"I don't think you want that." Seifer did have to admit, he knew her quite well.   
  
Rinoa shrugged and stared at the ground. "You're a jerk."  
  
~That's right Squall. You ARE a jerk.~  
  
*Shut up, you asshole.* Squall replied, noticing the sarcastic tone in Seifer's thoughts. He tried desperately to regain control of his actions, if only of his mouth to tell Rinoa to run, to go find somewhere to hide . . . *Rinoa, get out if here! I don't know what he'll do . . . *  
  
~She can't hear you. Don't bother yourself. Watch closely, you ignorant half-wit, I'm going to show you how to treat a lady.~  
  
Squall was infuriated with Seifer's arrogance. As if he knew . . . .  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm just feeling so stressed lately . . . I wish I could explain, Rinoa, but I can't." Squall was apalled by the false sincerity he heard in his own voice.   
  
To his surprise, Rinoa allowed herslef to be drawn in. She turned her mascara-streaked face upwards and looked at him. "Are you really?"  
  
Seifer made Squall nod. "I promise I'll tell you soon. Maybe tomorrow. I need to straighten things out. Give me another chance?" Seifer felt like he was asking her for her forgiveness for their argument that seemed to be decades in the past. When she looked up at him and smiled, he couldn't help but lean down and kiss the top of her head. If Squall was physically capable of gagging at Seifer's fakeness, he would have.  
  
*That's more like it.* Rinoa thought happily, *He must have just been in a 'mood'.*  
  
"C'mon." He held out his hand and Rinoa took it, and they began to leave the Quad together. Seifer searched Squall's mind for the directions to his room, and began to make his way there.   
  
*Stay the hell out of my room! Why are you being so nice to her?*  
  
In no way did Seifer reply. Squall sensed that the question made him uncomfortable. *Oh, no . . . don't tell me you're in love with her!*  
  
Seifer finally decided to reply. ~No, I'm not in love with her. Shut up, will you? ~  
  
Squall tried to search Seifer's mind, hoping that he could do it as well. He found that no, Seifer was not in love with her, just a little close.  
  
~Stop doing that!~ Seifer mentally shouted. He hadn't known that Squall would be able to search his mind as well.  
  
*Now you know how it feels. You'd better not try anything.*  
  
~Or else what?~  
  
Squall could not think of a reply.   
  
~That's what I thought. You can't do anything to me. I think I want a little piece of ass today, and with my amazing charm, I shouldn't have a problem.~  
  
*Stay away from her! Just GO AWAY!!* Seifer's mind became silent once again. Then, a few minutes later, he heard Rinoa's voice. "Squall, why are you being so quiet?"  
  
Squall felt his shoulders shrug, and his voice say, "I dunno. Just thinking, I guess."  
  
"Okay." Rinoa's nose crinkled up in a cute smile. She was so glad that Squall had returned to normal, or, since being this friendly wasn't that normal for him, glad that he'd just stopped being a jerk.   
  
Soon the pair, hand in hand, reached Squall's door. Rinoa followed him inside, and they sat on the bed. Rinoa began to feel uncomfortable. *Why did he bring me here?* She nervously began to fiddle with her hands.   
  
"Rinoa?"  
  
She turned her face up to him quickly. "Hm?" Before she knew it, Squall was leaning towards her, obviously wanting a kiss. She turned her head and his lips landed on her cheek.  
  
"What?" He asked, almost angrily. "You don't like me anymore?"  
  
~Ugh, that sounded so corny. I'm such and idiot.~  
  
*You know, Seifer, this is odd, but for once in your life you're actually right about something.*  
  
~Shut up!!~  
  
Rinoa squinted at him. She saw something strange in his eyes. "Squall, are you alright?"  
  
"Uh . . . yeah . . . why wouldn't I be?" He ran a hand through his hair. It was a nervous habit of Seifer's, and he found it felt quite strange with hair so much longer than his own.  
  
"Your eyes . . . they're different."  
  
"Different how?"  
  
"I don't know . . . angrier, I think. Or . . . they just don't look like yours."  
  
"That's crazy talk. I haven't changed." he replied, a nervous edge in his voice. He leaned in to try to kiss her again, his hand moving to her thigh. This time Rinoa jumped up and stared at him, feeling a mixture of fear, anger, and confusion.   
  
"What's wrong with you? You're being so pushy! I'd expect this from someone else, but not you. I *know* you." She stared at him, searching his eyes. She wasn't sure what she found, but she knew it wasn't his and also that she recognized it.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with me!" To Rinoa's surprise, he grabbed onto her wrist. This wasn't going too well, and as soon as one of Seifer's plans was disrupted, he became angry, sometimes throwing temper-tantrums. It seemed that this was one of those times.  
  
*Seifer, you immature bastard.*  
  
~Shut UP!~  
  
"Let go of me!" Rinoa tried to jerk away, but Squall's hands were strong. He grinned and with one swift motion hurled her onto the bed.  
  
"What the hell are you doing!?" she exclaimed. Before she could get up, she found herself pinned at both wrists.  
  
*What do you think you're doing, Almasy??*  
  
~Getting that piece of ass I wanted.~  
  
*Great Hyne . . . . you're not going to . . .*  
  
Seifer didn't reply. "Rinoa, if you make a fucking sound, I swear to Hyne I'll kill you." their faces were inches apart.  
  
To everyone's surprise, including her own, Rinoa began to giggle nervously. This was too insane to be real. "Squall, cute joke. I don't quite get it, but you can get off me now."  
  
"I'm not kidding." He began to stare at her with steel-eyed lust. "This is not a joke. Now you just keep quiet and it'll be over faster. Got it?"  
  
Rinoa's eyes widened in horror. "I'll scream."  
  
"Do you really want to do that?" he whispered threateningly, almost daring her to. She didn't say another word. Her eyes began to swell with horrified tears, but she refused to let one fall. He would then know she was weak, and would be imposing upon her mind as well as her body. If that was allowed to happen, she knew she would go insane.  
  
She suddenly found herself flipped roughly onto her stomach. Her arms were pulled tightly behind her back and her writs bound with something stiff, thick . . leather. When he was turned back over, she found that Squall, now strattling her, was missing one of his belts.  
  
Squall was forced to feel and see and hear all that Seifer was doing, unable to stop his own hands from undoing her blue pullover . . .  
  
*Seifer! You're crazy! Stop this right now!!*  
  
I'm having to much fun.  
  
With that, he leaned down and kissed her. Rinoa didn't have time to turn her head, and Squall could feel her lips trembling with horror beneath his own. He never know that kissing her could feel so horrible. *Hyne, and she thinks it's ME doing this . . .*  
  
~And YOU get to deal with all the concequences.~  
  
His tongue tried to push it's way into her mouth and she bit down hard. "You little bitch!" he yelled as he reared upwards, wiping the tiny trickle of blood from his lip. He was suddenly reminded of how she had hurt him when they'd parted, when she'd just walked out of his life. ~It's payback time.~ His fist swung down and connected with Rinoa's cheekbone. She let out a yelp in in pain as she threw her head to the side. Squall's heart shattered.  
  
He found himself beginning to beg, something he'd never wanted to do in Seifer's presence, and especially not *because* of him. *Just leave her alone. Please, if there's anything else you want, You can have it.*   
  
Sudden laughter becan to echo through his head. ~Oh, are we begging now, Squall? I never thought this would come from you.~  
  
Well it is. He felt incredibly ashamed to have to resort to this, but it was worth it for Rinoa. For Seifer to stop this. *Seifer, you're crazy. Just stop. Do you understand what you're doing?*   
  
~I'm too busy to talk to you right now.~ Yes, he *was* busy, beginning to pull up Rinoa's shirt.   
  
"Squall . . . I know you . . . I know you wouldn't do this . . .please . . ."  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you to shut your mouth?"  
  
Rinoa was silent again.  
  
His hand reached into her black tanktop, fondling hungrily, without an ounce of caring for the feelings of the subject of his caresses. He was too angry to care. Rinoa began to alomst inaudibly whimper in fear and slight pain, her eyes squeezed shut.  
  
The part she had feared and dreaded most since this incident stared began to happen. His hand lifted up her tiny navy skirt and undid the first button on the black shorts she wore beneath them.  
  
There was a sudden knock at the door. "Hey, Squall, you in there? Dude, you'll never guess what happened! I was in the training centre, and--"  
  
"Shut up! Shut up and go away!"  
  
"Oh . . . okay . . .sorry, man . . ." Zell began to leave slowly.  
  
"No! Zell!" It was Rinoa, daring to speak only because this could be her one chance for help.  
  
"I said to keep quiet!" he replied as Zell's footsteps neared the door again.   
  
"The hell's goin' on in there?" Harder knocks on the door.  
  
He got up and stared at the door. Rinoa curled into a ball on the bed as soon as he got off of her. "None of you damn business!" Then he mumbled, though louder than he'd meant to, "Great timing for that pussy chicken-wuss to show up."  
  
"What did you just call me??" Zell burst through the door. He only had time for two quick glances (one at a shaken Rinoa and one at Squall's furious face) before he was thrown back out into the hall by a little-to-hard-for-tolerance punch in the face. He instantly began to mumble, almost to himself, "Oh, you did not do that to Zell the Martial Artist Dincht, Squall, you did *not* just--"  
  
"I *told* you to get outta here!"  
  
Zell made his way toward Squall " --do that. You *will* not do that and get away with it, you *did not*, you *do not*-- "  
  
~Catch ya later, punk. I'm outta here. You get to deal with him now.~ With that, Seifer returned Squall's free will and was gone. Before Squall could try to halt Zell's bullet-train fist, it exploded into his jaw, iron-nuckles and all. The back of his head slammed into the hard floor before he knew it. His conciousness quickly left him with a few sparkles infront of his eyes and a wave of balckness.   
  
"You'd better stay right freakin' there until I figure out what the Hyne-damn you just did."   
  
Zell's voice became a little shaky as he realized he'd just knocked his commander on his ass with all the force he could put behind his fist. A good look a Rinoa didn't help much either.   
  
She was huddled in the farthest corner of the bed, lying on her side, facing the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, wrists haphazardly but tightly tied together with a belt. Zell was instantly there to free her hands, asking the only question that could come to his mind: "What happened?" He had to ask, though the answer was pretty obvious.  
  
Rinoa had always been good at holding back tears when she wanted to, and had done so thus far, but at the sound of the concern in Zell's voice, the assurance that what had just happened really *had happened,* she broke down. Her shoulders and neck erupted into violent shudders, her sobs so strong and desperate that they could only exist in silence.   
  
She was surprised that she could think of no better feeling than when Zell's arm reached around her gingerly, as though afraid he would break her, or even upset her, hoping to offer some sort of comfort. She reached out to him with all she had; clung to his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, her eyes squeezed so tight she began to see sparkles beneath her eyelids. Zell was somewhat surprised by the needy gesture, but still responded by tightening his arms around her back.  
  
  
  



	13. Vividarium

C h a p t e r 1 3  
V i v i d a r i u m  
  
Squall sat motionless in the dark, leaning against a hard steel wall. His eyes were wide open in his sleeplessness, though he could see no better than if they had been closed.   
  
Irvine had brought him down to the dicliplinary floor by use of the elevators, throwing him angrily into the steel vault he sat in now. Irvine hadn't said a word to him--didn't even look at him as he led him around by his arm. It had made Squall feel horrible, knowing Irvine would not listen if he had tried to explain what had happened. It had been a long, uncomfortable trip.  
  
Sensory deprivation was the harshest punishment anyone could recieve in a Garden besides expulsion. *Maybe this is . . . just a temporary place to hold me until they can officially kick me out of here. I bet they're signing the papers right now.*  
  
Squall couldn't hear or see or feel anything that existed in the outside world. The only person he had to deal with facing now was himself.  
  
And that would be the hardest of all.  
  
It was obvious to Squall that the people he thought were his friends were just as quick to condemn him as a complete stranger would be. They stared at him, looked *down* at him, like he was an insect. A hideous creature that didn't diserve to live.   
  
He remembered Rinoa's face, her tear-streaked, shocked face, as Zell led her delicately down the hall, trying to keep her out of Squall's view as they left. She had refused to look at anything but the floor.   
  
*At least she's still alive. I have to be thankful for that.* But she was scarred, he knew, and it would be even easier to see her emotional scar than the one, say, on Squall's forehead. Seifer had now left his mark on both of them.  
  
As he watched Zell and Rinoa walk away, Irvine and Quistis had held his arms to keep him from doing anything rash, but he didn't fight. He couldn't fight his friends. He hoped he could prove that to them.  
  
*Even if they did give me a chance to explain, what would I say? That Seifer took over my mind and it's all his fault? They'd just call me an irrisponsible lunatic . . . Maybe I AM a lunatic.*  
  
It was possible. Had all those events, where Seifer had mentally spoken to him, controlled him, just been his imagination? He had believed Seifer was controlling him, but it may only have been himself. This obviously meant he was insane, and a plea to that idea would have him demoted to . . . he didn't even know what. He'd never be allowed to fight for Garden again.   
  
*I'm sure it was Seifer. I can't be carzy . . . or at least not at the time it happened . . . I think I'm driving myself crazy in HERE . . .*  
  
The thick metal door to the six-foot-square chamber opened suddenly, bathing the black walls in flourescent light. *Well, here they are to tell me that I'm kicked out. Sentenced to spending the rest of my life in an insane asylum . . .* A light hanging form the cielig turned on, and Quistis enetered. *Hm. She came to tell me in person.* Quistis was calm. She sat on the floor right beside him. The heavy door closed. *She's not afraid to be alone with me in here? What if I --if Seifer-- did the same thing to her?*  
  
"Squall?" she asked quietly, soothingly, trying to find out if he was awake. She couldn't see the slumped figure's face.   
  
"Yeah?" he didn't move an inch.  
  
"I want you to tell me what happened today. From your viewpoint, not how you think we saw it." her voice was like that of patient mother whose child had just accidentally broken a lamp..  
  
"Why are you in here alone with me? I could do the same thing to you . . . you don't know what could happen . . . "  
  
"I'm here because the others sent me. I'm here because I want to be here. I'm here because I trust you."  
  
"All of you . . . you must hate me. I saw the anger in Irvine's eyes and the fear in Rinoa's. I saw Selphie, and Zell, and *you*, all looking down at me. . .You were all so angry . . ."  
  
"We were confused, Squall, not angry."  
  
"Infuriated. Don't lie to me."  
  
"I tell you the truth. Our group had a long discussion. Rinoa told us what happened. Selphie cried--she was afraid for you. Rinoa's terribly confused, and so am I. Irvine remained mostly silent. I doubt he knew what to think. Zell was angry, but knew that something horrible must have happened to you . . . after what you called him. But let me assure you, not one of us hates you. I think you need to learn that you can trust your friends not to abandon you."  
  
"They . . . you . . . are sticking with me here?"  
  
"Of course. If not yours, then whose side could we be on?"  
  
"Where's Rinoa?"  
  
"I think I should get a turn to ask the questions, now." In truth, Quistis was afraid to tell him where to find her until she had learned his side of the story."Does Seifer have anything to do with this?"  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"You called Zell 'chicken wuss'. Rinoa noticed she picked up some of his nervous habits from you."  
  
"I can't tell you." *He'll kill Rinoa. He'll . . . kill me.* He did not fear death, but damn well knew he wasn't going to welcome it with open arms.  
  
"Squall . . . you should . . . please, it's for the good of everyone. Including yourself."  
  
*Oh, Quistis, you don't know how wrong you are.* "I still have a lot to sort out. . . .Do you think you could do a couple favours for me?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Lock the door tight behind you. I don't know what could happen. Please keep searching for Ellone. And . . .tell Rinoa I'm sorry."  
  
"I will."  
  
Quistis left, tears of worry stinging her eyes. *Squall, what's happening to you?*   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
No matter how many times he pounded his pillows to return their softness, Zell could not help but feel they were rocks. His eyes were closed and he mostly remained still, but his mind was racing.  
  
* . . . Rinoa let me hold her I never knew Squall could do this he punched me in the face he punched RINOA in the face what an asshole but it couldn't have been his fault he doesn't use the name chicken wuss she needed me . . .*   
  
"Ugh! I can't fuckin' deal with this!" Tired of trying to sleep, he got up and began to ream on a punching bag that hung in one corner without even bothering to turn on the light.  
  
After about a half hour he began to get tired, and sat back down on the edge of his bed. His knee bounced up and down in a nervous habit he'd had since before he could remember.   
  
Someone was walking down the hallway, with slow, light, shoeless steps. He stopped fidgeting and listened. A few seconds later, just as the steps moved out of listening range, he heard a scream.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
The pure devastation that lay before Rinoa's eyes neraly made her fall to the ground and weep. The Galbadian missiles had hit Balamb Garden harder than Trabia, and she knew there had to be many dead. She ran through the hallways, her feet crunching on shards of glass from windows shattered duing the impact. She occasionally tripped over uprooted floor tiles and had to climb her way over many a fallen girder with great difficulty. She found people, junior classmen as young as five and SeeDs as old as twenty-five. All were dead, having been crushed beneath fallen debris or thrown many feet in the shocks of the explosions. She was scared nearly to death, but she knew she had to keep going.   
  
*I have to find my friends. I have to make sure they're okay.* She was positive they must have survived--they were strong and intelligent--they would know where to go and what to do.  
  
She found Irvine in the front hallway, the bottom half of his body having been crushed by a giant piece of a wall that had toppled over. His eyes were wide with dead fear, as he clutched his shotgun with stiff fingers of rigor-mortis.  
  
Selphie was not ten feet away, in a heap by a wall and barely recognizible. Her body was stained red with blood from the deadly rain of millions of shards of glass when a nearby window had exploded. The only way Rinoa knew it was her was by her little yellow jumper. Her face had been torn apart.  
  
Rinoa continued. *Surely they can't all be dead.*  
  
Quistis was in the library, beneath a fallen bookcase. Her hand was all that was visible, protruding from beneath a shelf, clutching her whip as though it would protect her.  
  
But there was no protection against *this.*  
  
A section of the rounded hall had caved in, to be swallowed by the decorative fountain-pools. More people, *children* mostly, had drowned, having forgotten how to swim in their horrified panic.  
  
She waded through the stained-pink water, pushing the occasional body out of her way as her feet lost contact with the bottom, and reached the other side.   
  
Rinoa had thought (maybe hoped) that seeing so much death within only a half hour would have begun to numb her to the pain of it all. When she found Zell in the cafeteria, she realized this was not so. An additional fire had erupted as the gas stoves were destroyed, engulfing the whole room in flames. Many people had been burned to death, not given time to suffocate from the smoke or the lack of oxygen that the fire had stolen hungrily. Zell had been no exception. His clothes had been charred nearly beyond recognition. His face was black, contorted, his mouth a deadly grimace, his lips having shrunken, bearing his teeth. He no longer had eyes, only charred sockets, and all of his hair was gone. Rinoa turned and ran, horrified by the sight more than any of the others.  
  
*I haven't found Squall yet. Maybe he wasn't here. Maybe he found somewhere safe to go . . .*  
  
After climbing the ladder in the elevator shaft, Rinoa saw that the bridge had toppled over from the third floor to the second. Near the wreckage outside the classroom, she found Xu and Nida, both having died in the fall. There was an arm protruding from beneath the toppled control equipment and pieces of glass from the dome once shielding it: A leather-sleeved arm ending with a hand wearing a black glove.  
  
"Oh, no . . ." Rinoa was instantly there, throwing every piece of debris off of Squall with near inhuman strength. She knelt beside him, cradling his head in her arms. He strangely didn't seem to have any obvious injuries like the others. No blood. No disfiguration. . . but he wouldn't wake up. She was calling him, quietly at first and louder as she became more desperate, but there was nothing. She was afraid, so desperately, insanely afraid, that she felt like she would scream. "No, Squall, don't you leave me, too . . ."  
  
And then something hit her on the head and bounced onto the floor. She looked at the little object, then picked it up, rubbing the small bump on her head with her other hand. It was ice--a hailstone, she supposed, but strangely coloured--turqouise. She looked to the sky, unshielded now that the roof had caved in. There were no clouds.   
  
Another one fell and hit Squall square in the chest, then another hit her in the shoulder. A full-blown hailstorm erupted from the still-blue sky. Rinoa held Squall closer to her, hoping to shield him from what she could.  
  
There came a strange stench in the air. Rinoa looked around her for it's source, then at Squall. As each hailstone hit him, it burned holes in his clothes. One buried itself into the side of his face, and it began to . . . rot away. *What? What ARE these things?* Soon half of his face was affected, white bone beginning to show through black, dissloving skin.   
  
Rinoa looked at herself. The same things were happeining to her arms and legs, multiplying red holes spreading into sickening black rot. Insects began to climb and scurry from them, red as blood, wet, worm-like. Hundreds of them.  
  
They were both being eaten alive.  
  
She screamed.   
  
  
  



	14. Venus

C h a p t e r 14  
V e n u s  
  
  
Zell bolted out into the hallway to find Rinoa in a heap (somewhere within a puddle of way-too-big flannel pyjamas) on the floor some feet away. "Oh damn . . ." he turned her over and shook her shoulders a little too roughly in his panic. Rinoa's eyes opened wide and immediately she shoved him off of her and climbed away frantically.  
  
"Rinoa! It's me! It's just me!" He took hold of her wrist.  
  
"Don't touch me!" she exclaimed. Zell let go, startled. Rinoa fell backwards onto her rear, began clawing at her face, her arms. "The bugs! They're . . . my arms . . .my face . . . Squall . . . *diappearing*!!"   
  
Her panic suddenly ceased. She fell back, smacking her head on the floor. Zell hurried to her side once again. "Dude . . . " he whispered. Rinoa was awake, staring at the cieling. After a few seconds, she looked over at him.  
  
"I just had a freak-out again, didn't I?"  
  
"You have a *name* for this? And what do you mean *'again'*?"  
  
Rinoa sat up. "I used to sleep walk back when in my father's house. I always ended up getting lost."  
  
Zell nodded, listening intently.  
  
"I even fell down the stairs once. I went to a doctor, and all she could tell me was that it was because I was unhappy -- it always seemed to happen after we (my father and I, I mean) had an argument. And then, when I left home and met Watts and Zone, it went away. I didn't know it would ever come back." She was shaky, afraid, her knees pulled up to her chest as she rocked herself back and forth. She seemed very lost in thought, and very alone.   
  
Sensing that she was done and didn't want to talk anymore (he couldn't listen to someone for very long anyways), Zell let his hand fall upon her shoulder. "Why don't we get you back to Selphie's room? That's where you were stayin', right?"  
  
Rinoa sighed. "Yeah . . . I guess . . . she kicks in her sleep, though." She said as he helped her up. "I probably won't get to sleep. And she's such a sound sleeper, I can't wake her up to tell her to stop." Rinoa smiled.  
  
"So . . . I bet she wouldn't notice if you got out of bed again and sleepwalked right out of the damn Garden, would she?"  
  
"Doubt it. Want to go to the library or something?"  
  
You're coming to my room." Zell didn't realize he'd said it unitl the woards has popped out of his mouth. *What the hell did I say that for? After what happened in the LAST guy's room she was in? . . . Oh well, I'll just go with it.* "I know I won't be sleepin' anyways. I'll watch you until you can talk to Doctor Kadowaki tomorrow."  
  
"What? Zell, I could get in trouble for just being in there." She'd never before heard the demanding, protective tone he used.   
  
"No you won't. We can explain it tomorrow if anyone has a problem." *Hyne damn it. Why don't you just make her MORE uncomfortable? But hey, If it means she'll be in MY room . . .*   
  
Rinoa hadn't noticed where they'd been walking, and suddenly found that she was standing at Zell's door. He opened it and gestured for her to step inside. Rinoa did, but hesitantly. *Oh shit, there's this totally HOT girl, not just a hot girl, RINOA . . . Oh shit, what do I DO??*  
  
"Zell, could you do me a favour?"  
  
"Uh. . . sure, what is it?"  
  
"Leave the door unlocked?"  
  
"Okay . . ." Zell made sure it wasn't locked, and plunked himself down on the floor. "Why?"  
  
Rinoa sat gingerly on the bed. "Um . . . I don't know. Never mind. It doesn't matter." She began to fiddle with her hands again.  
  
"You want it unlocked so you'll be able to 'escape'." Zell mumbled, and proceeded to mentally whack himself in the forehead.  
  
"What?"  
  
He hadn't meant for her to overhear him, but he decided to make the best of it. "Do you think I'd try the same thing Squall did?" *I shouldn't be bringing this up. I should have let HER bring it up.*  
  
Rinoa didn't want to admit it, knowing she had no real reason. Zell wasn't a bad person. But then . . . neither was Squall. " . . . No." she replied, staring at her fidgeting, entwining hands.  
  
Zell stilled them with one of his own. "Look Rinoa, I know you've been through a whole helluva lot, but you still need to trust the people who are tryin' ta help you."  
  
*Zell's become mature? CALM? When did this happen?* "I guess you have a point . . ."  
  
"But I'll still leave it unlocked for ya. So you'll be comfortable."   
  
"Thanks."  
  
A few moments of awkward silence passed. Zell walked to the other side of the room, leaning against the wall. "Are you just going to stay there all night?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"That's the plan. Aren't you gonna go to sleep?"  
  
"Here?"  
  
"No. In the cafeteria." Zell replied with a smirk.   
  
"I don't know if I'll get to sleep, but I'll give it a try. . . " She said, ignoring his sarcasm. She pulled up the blankets and buried herself in the warm nest made by the bed's previous occupant. Zell turned out the lights and returned to his watch spot against the wall. He knew he wouldn't mind watching her. Still, this was going to be a long night.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
As soon as Quistis returned to the main floor, she found Irvine waiting for her on the stairs leading down from the elevator. He stood up and tipped his hat when he saw her. "What'd he say?"  
  
"He wouldn't tell me his motives, even after I said that we were all on his side."  
  
"Why'd you tell 'im that? I never said *I* was on his side. And I don't think Zell is either. And don't even ask me about Rinoa. As far as I know, she hasn't said a word yet." Irvine was rather annoyed at her for putting words in his mouth.  
  
"I believed that if I . . . well. . . bent the truth a little in his favour, he might have given me some answers."  
  
Irvine thought that over. "But it didn't work."  
  
"No, it didn't. There's something holding him back. He wanted to tell me . . . I could see it. But something or someone is confining him."  
  
"Quistis, you're looking too deep into this. I'll bet he just cracked and lost his judgement. Or he was just an asshole all along . . ."  
  
"Irvine!" Quistis scolded, "I can't believe you could say something like that. He's not . . . he doesn't even like to *touch* people, let alone . . ." She groped for the right words, ". . . *assault* them." The words she found tasted horribly bitter in her mouth.  
  
"Sure looked like he *touched* Rinoa to *me* . . ."  
  
Quistis ignored the comment. "There is one problem, though . . ."  
  
"Only one?"  
  
"He asked me to apologize to Rinoa for him."  
  
"Aha! A confession!"  
  
"I was afraid you'd see it that way." Quistis looked to the floor, dread of the possible truth written across her features. "That was what it sounded like to me, too. I had hoped you would quell the idea, not agree to it."  
  
"We should do something."  
  
"Like what? It's nearly midnight. Irvine, I suggest you go to bed. That's what I'll soon be doing."  
  
"What? It's early! Nah, I think I'll go check up on Selphie."  
  
"She's probably sleeping, too."  
  
"Well, y'know, I could always watch her."  
  
Quistis sighed. "Alright, Irvine, have it your way. You had just better not be cranky tomorrow." She began to walk away.  
  
"Geez, Quistis, I'm not a little kid." Irvine called to her back before walking in the opposite direction.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Zell had never woken up standing before, and nearly fell over when he realized he was, stumbling forward a step. *Damn it. I didn't want to fall asleep.*   
  
"No . . . Squall . . . don't you leave me, too . . ." Mumbling, from the other side of the room. *Well, at least she's still here.*   
  
"What, Rinoa?"  
  
No answer. He walked forward, barely able to see in the dim moonlight filtering through the thin-curtained window. A few steps later, he stumbled over a heap of blankets on the floor. Rinoa had obviously done some major tossing-and-turning.   
  
"Hey--you awake?" he whispered as a writing Rinoa, tangled up in her own pj's, replied,  
  
" . . . why's it . . . hail?. . . my arms . . ."  
  
"Shit." he said under his breath. He couldn't just let her lay there freaked out, so he knelt by the bed to touch her. *I hope she doesn't hold this against me.* "Yo. Rinoa. Wake up." Looking closer at her pale features, he found that her cheeks were wet.  
  
Rinoa finally awoke to find Zell's hand lightly caressing her cheek. When her eyes opened, he jumped back, a little embarassed. Rinoa noticed that her pillow was wet, and pulled it up to cover her face. "You're not supposed to see that." she choked.  
  
"Sorry." He replied, turning around to give her some privacy as she wipd up her tears.  
  
"It's okay." she replied, her voice muffled.  
  
"Rinoa?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You were saying some of the same things just now that you were when I found in the hall. . . . do you want to talk about it?" Zell felt incredibly awkward (a feeling that he didn't know very well) and scolded himslef for bringing it up. *I should have just left her alone . . .*  
  
"Just a bad dream . . ."  
  
"That much I could figute out."  
  
" . . . in which all of my friends die and the Garden's destroyed."  
  
"Geez. Care to elaborate?"  
  
"I don't think you want to hear it."  
  
"Only if you want to tell me."  
  
Memories of the all-too-real nightmare flooded Rinoa's mind. "You got burned to a crisp." She removed the pillow from her face.  
  
"That's nice to hear."  
  
"Not nice to see. Selphie was ripped apart. Irvine and Quistis were crushed. Squall . . . I don't even *know* what happened to him. Something about hailstones, and us disappearing . . . dissolving . . . lots of bugs. . . "  
  
The slight wince that had taken over Zell's face at the beginning of her summary only now began to dissapear. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I guess so. But . . . Zell, do you ever have dreams that aren't really that scary when you talk about them, and don't even have any real events beside the feeling of fear?"  
  
"Hmm." Zell thought for a moment, massaging the back of his neck. "I think I know what you mean. Once, I had this dream when I was little that I was screaming and I knew why but I didn't really, you know what I mean?"  
  
Rinoa nodded. Zell rested his chin on the edge of the bed.  
  
"And I couldn't tell anyone what was wrong cuz I was just *screaming*, and Ma was trying to figure out was was wrong, and she couldn't, and as if it wasn't scary enough, *she* got so afraid that she was screaming too . . ."  
  
"That's what I mean! Screaming isn't that scary in itself. But dreaming about fear itself is the worst nightmare of all."  
  
*Yeah! We're conversing! She likes talking to me!* "Yeah. I woke up crying. I was only six."  
  
"Well . . . anyways, this dream was sorta like that."  
  
" I bet it has something to do with today. Y'know, what happened." *Damn it. I brought it up AGAIN. I'm never gonna learn how to talk to people.*  
  
Rinoa sighed, "Probably."  
  
"Do you think he meant to do it? Or, like . . . did he just go nuts?" *Rinoa looks like she wants to talk about it . . . maybe she does . . . she'll probably tell me if she doesn't . . .*  
  
"I don't know . . ." She was silent, pondering, for a long time. "He certainly wasn't himself. But . . . Those were *his* arms holding me down . . . *his* voice telling me to 'shut the fuck up and it'll be over faster.' . . . " Her voice became shaky with a new wave of tears begging to erupt from her already-swollen eyes. "His eyes telling me *nothing* . . . It was like they were *empty* . . ." Rinoa didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to remember it, but her mouth kept moving without her full consent. "His *hands* touching my . . . . more than touching . . . *hurting*. . ."  
  
Rinoa again found herself wrapped up in Zell's warm embrace, stronger and more passionate than the first.   
  
Because this time he *knew.* He knew was she thought and how she felt when nobody else did. She'd only felt so close (though never so suddenly) to a select few throughout her life.   
  
"I'm . . . sorry. I shoudl have gotten there sooner." Zell couldn't think of anything else to say. He generally had no experoence at this this type of thing.  
  
"I'm just . . .glad you showed up in time." She whispered shakily, "It could have been so much worse . . . thank you."  
  
"No problem." Zell was no longer afraid to break her. His pure rage at whatever had driven so much pain into one person (be it Squall or whatever had caused him to act this way), and fact that that one person had been Rinoa seethed into his arms until he squeezed her to the point that it almost hurt her. Realizing that this was the last thing he wanted to, he let go, though his hand remained at the nape of Rinoa's neck.  
  
They stared at each other for a full minute; wet, dismal brown swirling into angry but caring blue. Unable to stand the intensity of each other's gazes for another second, the pair's lips met.   
  
*Great Hyne, what the hell am I doing? I'm KISSING her!! Squall's gonna kick my ASS . . . * still, despite the possible concequences, Zell found himself unable to pull away from her. *She needs me right now.*  
  
Zell's mouth seemed the secret sanctuary that Rinoa hadn't known she'd been searching for, where in unknown ways she could express wordless emotions. His lips parted to allow her delicate tongue it's refuge, offering comfort. Ethereal hands ran through soft blond hair and over a black-lightning-bolt tatoo; strong, trained fingers played with the thin chain which graced a plae collarbone.   
  
Then it was over, as quickly as it began. It seemed there was no longer a need for words, at least until tomorrow -- that none could further complete the slient ones just exchanged. Zell picked the blankets up off the floor and spread them out over Rinoa, then began to walk back over to the other side of the room, feeling strangely less comfortable than he had when she'd entered.  
  
"You're leaving now?" Rinoa aked, reaching her lightning touch over to his arm.  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at her. *I can't do this. I can't take advantage of her any more than I already have. She's so upset . . .* "Just to the wall where I was before. If you need anything, you can just--"  
  
"Zell, um . . . I think I'd feel better if you stayed over here." Rinoa looked down at her pillow. *What am I saying? What would Squall think? What if what happened wasn't his fault and he finds out about this . . ?* "As friends," she added, begginning to fell uncomfortable herself, "Um . . . yeah. Friends."  
  
*Friends that just decide to KISS once in a while? What is she talking about?*  
  
"Okay, if that's what you want." *That's what she wants. I guess I'll . . .*  
  
"You can lock the door now." she whispered. Zell did as he was aked, feeling quite relieved to know that she now trusted him, and returned to her to find she had shifted over in the bed and lifted up the covers to offer him a spot. Zell took it, laying stiffly on his back. Rinoa's head found his chest as she cuddled up to him, and was still. "Zell, don't think I'm a slut or anything . . ."  
  
The thought had never crossed his mind. "Why would I think that?" *Though she IS acting pretty wierd.*  
  
"What just happened . . . I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to Squall, even if what he did somehow wasn't his fault."  
  
*NO! This isn't supposed to happen! I don't want to break them up!* Zell hadn't realized the possible concequences of his actions. He shifted slightly away from her without realizing it. "Why? If it wasn't his fault . . . because I have to admit, he damn right wasn't himself . . ."  
  
"I don't think I can make those memories go away. Every time I look at him, they'll come back."  
  
"But you two were a perfect couple . . " *Damn it , Zell, this is your chance! You've wanted her since you met her! Why are you fucking it all up?*  
  
"Were we actually a couple?"  
  
"That's what everyone thought."  
  
Rinoa was slient for a while. "That's what I thought too." He voice was sad, like she had lost something very dear to her.  
  
*Oh MAN, what have I done here? She's not going back to Squall now, and I want her . . . really bad . . .* He wanted to just run, get out of that bed and *run* as far away as possible. But then he looked down at her, and realized how much he cared. He could never leave. *Oh well, it's just tonight. Maybe everything will be back to normal tomorrow.* It seemed he couldn't stand his contradicting thoughts another minute.  
  
"Just say here with me tonight, I need *someone,* and . . . maybe all these doubts I'm having will go away."  
  
"We'll just have to see, I guess. Let's go to sleep now. This day's been too damn crazy."  
  
"Okay." Rinoa sighed and didn't say any more. She felt incredibly comfortable (physically and mentally) if she managed to stop thinking about all the feelings she had for Squall that she couldn't yet abandon. Zell was strong and his one arm laying over her shoulders offered protection that she'd never had before. She knew that the nightmares wouldn't come back, at least for tonight. 


	15. Zanetzeuken

C h a p t e r 1 5  
Z a n e t z e u k e n  
  
Irvine peeked into Selphie's room, saw that she was asleep, and entered quietly. Her usually perfect, flipped-up hair was now scrunched against her face, sticking out in odd places. The dishevelled blankets rose only to her knees, and Irvine pulled them up to her shoulders. He thought she looked particularly adorable like this. Then, suddenly, she violently kicked them off of her again, mumbling gibberish as she slept. Startled, Irvine jumped backwards, knocking a picture frame off her nightstand. It landed on the floor with a rather loud crash. "Shit!" he hissed, trying to find it in the darkness.  
  
"Irvine . . . what are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh! Selphie, you're awake . . ." *Damn it all to hell. Why'd I have to go and wake her up?*  
  
"Uh-huh . . . now I am . . ." Selphie rubbed the sleep from her eyes, yawned, and stretched, releasing a little squeak. Then, as though something in her head just clicked, she sat up and began to look wildly around her. "Irvine . . . where's Rinoa?"   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
"Seifer Almasy, report to the sorceress' chambers immediately." the words seemed to boom over the P.A.  
  
Seifer's eyes opened with a start. *She wants to see me* --he looked at his bedside clock -- *at one in the morning? What's going on?* He struggled for full consciousness and crawled out of bed, grabbing his overcoat on the way out.  
  
When he reached the chambers ten minutes later, sorceress Mayaden was waiting for him, fully dressed. He wondered if she ever slept. "Seifer, I have decided to give you new orders."  
  
"New orders? Did I fail you in some way?"  
  
"No . . . though I know you would if given the chance. I realized that the . . . instructions I gave you are too complicated for a mind such at yours."  
  
*What?? Too COMPLICATED??* Anger mixed with hurt as Seifer sorted through her words. He'd always prided himself on his intelligence. He remained silent, feeling that he wouldn't be able to mask the angry tone in his voice. *I should tell her about what I did. But . . . I didn't find out any information that she'd think was useful . . . I did put him through hell though . . . I put Rinoa through hell.* As this realization, he began to fee somewhat guilty. He actually hadn't planned for his anger to go so out of control.  
  
"I want you to kill him." Mayaden said sinisterly, interrupting his thoughts. Seifer was a little shocked.  
  
"Kill Squall? How?"  
  
"It's very simple. When you are in his body again, just . . . jump off a cliff or hang him or shoot him or something. Very easy."  
  
"But, your highness . . ."  
  
"What? Have you now switched sides?"  
  
"No . . ."  
  
"If you decide to be a coward, I will simply have someone else take your place. And I will have the guards cast you out. You will no longer be of any use to me. Tell me Seifer, have you ever heard of a cowardly knight?"  
  
"I haven't. I am here to grant your wishes." Seifer hid behind his Knight facade, not wanting to let Mayaden see his uncertainty.  
  
"Good. I'll give you until tomorrow to make sure you're not a coward. Dismissed."  
  
Seifer left.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
"Hey! Zell! Wake up!" Zell jumped out of bed in an instant, startled beyond belief. There came a soft knock at his door. *What the hell is Selphie doing here? I was having a really good damn dream: Rinoa kissed me.* He unlocked the door, squinting down at her rumpled hair and nightie, then up as he realized Irvine was there too.  
  
"What's up?" Zell asked, trying not to sound pissed as he scratched his butt.  
  
"Have to seen Rinoa? She's not in my room!"  
  
*Oh shit. I forgot. It wasn't a dream. And now they're gonna know about it.*  
  
"Uh . . . yeah I have . . ." he stalled, trying to think of some kind of excuse for what he knew they'd find out.  
  
"Great! Where is she?" Selphie asked as Irvine peered past Zell into his room.   
  
"Uh, she's in--"  
  
"Here!" Irvine interrupted, slightly shoving Zell to the side to get in the room. Rinoa's arm was moving around next to her as she slept, searching for the body that had just been there. After a few seconds, she stilled.  
  
"What's going on?" Selphie asked, squinting up at Zell. All eyes on him, he felt he would break under the pressure of their stares.   
  
"Uh, well . . ." he scratched his head and finally decided to tell as much of the truth as he could without getting himself in trouble. "Rinoa was sleepwalking and I found her. She was scared, so I said she could stay in my room, that's all."  
  
Irvine narrowed his eyes, "And then what happened?"  
  
"She went to sleep."   
  
"In the same bed as you?"  
  
"Uh . . . yeah . . ."  
  
A smile washed over Irvine's face as he punched Zell in the shoulder. "You're learning! How far'd ya get?"  
  
"Irvine!" Selphie elbowed him in the side. Irvine grunted. Those little elbows were *sharp*! "She's upset! I doubt anything *happened*, RIGHT, Zell?" she said, or more *demanded.*  
  
"That's right."  
  
"Good. I don't want *you*--" she poked him in the chest, "--taking advantage of *my* friend, especially at a time like *this*."  
  
Both men were taken aback by Selphie's sudden change in demeanor, especially Irvine, "Holy defensive there, Sef." he chuckled, adding: "You're cute when you're mad."  
  
"Well, I know *you* two wouldn't defend her."  
  
"Hey!" Zell interrupted, "Just because Irvine here's a man-whore, doesn't mean I'm--"  
  
"There you are!" The trio whipped around to find Quistis peeking her head through the doorway, "I have great news!"  
  
"Did Squall finally decide to give in?" Irvine asked.  
  
"No." Quistis replied, "We found Sis."   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Seifer had been sitting on his bed, staring at the wall, for hours now. The order to kill Squall had been like a punch in the gut. His life-long rival didn't deserve to die, he decided. Maimed, tortured a little, maybe, but *killed?* If he was gone, where would Seifer find his challenges? Squall was the only person he might have trouble defeating in training. Who would he make fun of and fight with? Chicken-wuss was too easy to piss off. But it took a lot to get a rise out of Squall, and whenever he did, Seifer's self-assurance received at well-needed boost.  
  
He loved to hate Squall. He even used him to blame his problems on. It seemed that was what he existed for. Seifer needed him to boost his own confidence, and if he was gone, Seifer wasn't sure *how* he'd manage to keep his own self-worth fulfilled.  
  
*Do I really NEED him? No, that's stupid, I can't, I've wanted him dead for YEARS now. And now, when I have the chance, I chicken out? . . . I have to do it. If I don't, Mayaden will . . .disown me. I can't let that happen. I would have nowhere else to go.*  
  
Without allowing himself the chance to change his mind, Seifer left to tell the sorceress he'd made his decision.   
  
  



	16. El Fuego Corriente

C h a p t e r 1 6   
E l F u e g o C o r r i e n t e  
  
  
Ellone shivered. She had been doing so quite often lately, especially since Quistis left the lounge room beside the Headmaster's office. It seemed that being alone made her feel colder than she was. She hoped the others would get there soon. She was anxious to see them after so many years, and wondered how they had changed.  
  
Soon enough, the group filtered in. As Selphie threw her arms around her neck, Ellone noticed Irvine leaning against the far wall coolly. He tipped his hat at her and offered a warm smile, acknowledging that he knew she was rather busy with Selphie at the moment.  
  
"Omigod I haven't seen you in so long! I missed you so much!"  
  
"I didn't think you'd remember me." she replied as Selphie found a spot on the antique-looking couch next to her.  
  
"Well . . . I told everyone a little while ago." Irvine explained, "I'm the only one that remembered."  
  
Zell plunked himself down on the floor. "How ya doin'?" he asked, unsure of how else to greet Ellone. It sure had been a long time.   
  
Ellone smiled, brushing some of her short brown hair from her face, "I'm okay now . . . I was feeling pretty bad, but Quistis took good care of me before she found you guys. Um . . . where's Squall?"  
  
Quistis cleared her throat as the others looked around the room nervously, hoping Quistis could find the right words to tell Ellone that Squall had gone bonkers. "He's in the disciplinary quarters right now," she said, "He assaulted Zell, and--"  
  
"You don't need to say it like that. He didn't hit me *that* hard."  
  
To the surprise of everyone in the room, Ellone began to giggle. "You two were always squabbling." she replied to questioning faces.  
  
Zell shook his head violently. "No . . .no, you don't get it. He frickin' punched me right in the damn face. And I didn't even *do* anything to him."  
  
"It's just funny . . . you bickered with each other more than Seifer did with either of you . . . and yet, you'd be found playing in the sand together ten minutes later."  
  
"Ellone . . . he . . . tried to rape a visitor." Quistis said seriously. Ellone immediately ceased her giggling, her eyes turning to saucers.  
  
"He *what?*"   
  
"Ellone, she *said*--"  
  
"No, Zell . . . I heard her. I just don't believe . . . How could he have done that? Squall would never. . ."  
  
"I don't know . . . none of us know." Quistis replied, "He somehow knew to look for you earlier today . . . I was actually hoping you could tell us."  
  
Ellone stared at the floor, silently pondering. After a few long minutes, she said, "The people who kidnapped me took my powers. They must have used them . . . manipulated them, and used them . . . On Squall."  
  
"You could only use them on people you knew, right?" Selphie replied.  
  
"Yes . . ."  
  
"So, there would need to be someone working for the enemy that knew Squall . . ."  
  
"Seifer!" said everyone in the room, practically in unison.  
  
"He called me 'chicken wuss' today!" Zell stood up energetically.  
  
"And Rinoa said he was acting like him! Mannerisms and stuff!" Selphie added, clapping her hands together.  
  
Irvine remained silent against the wall. He was feeling rather guilty for doubting his comrade. He hoped Squall wouldn't hold it against him.  
  
"Who's Rinoa?"  
  
The others in the room exchanged glances. "She's the visitor we told you about." said Quistis.  
  
"We were hoping they'd hook up, but after this . . ." Selphie drifted off, looking at the floor sadly.  
  
"What? We know this wasn't his fault." Irvine added casually with a wave of his hand, "They'll be fine."  
  
"You don't get it, do you, Irvine?" Selphie asked.  
  
"What? I don't get what?"  
  
Selphie shook her head, almost in unison with Zell. They both knew this wasn't something just to blow off, but they remained silent.   
  
"I suppose I should go talk to him." Quistis said, relieved that she could tell Squall that they knew. She only wondered why he'd refused to tell them about it. Did he even know what was going on?   
  
"I'm gonna head off to bed. You got somewhere to sleep, Sis?" Zell asked.  
  
Ellone smiled. "Quistis already said I could sleep in her room. She told me she probably won't have any time to sleep tonight."  
  
"I'll go to bed too." Selphie said with a yawn as Irvine pulled out his pocket watch. "What time is it?"  
  
"Quarter to five. Sun'll be comin' out soon. Guess I'll go out to watch it."  
  
Selphie nodded and yawned again as the group left the small lounge.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
"Squall?" Quistis smiled slightly as she watched the boy turn away from the florescent light that cascaded in from the door. He seemed almost like a child."We know what happened. We found Ellone."  
  
Squall perked up at that remark. "What? Ellone?" he asked excitedly, joy showing through his squinting eyes.  
  
Quistis nodded. "Yes. She told me about . . . Seifer."  
  
"Oh." Squall lifted his hand to his temple, as though he had a headache. "Is Rinoa alright?"  
  
"She's asleep . . . in Zell's room." *No, Quistis! Why'd you have to tell him that??*  
  
"I don't blame her." Squall replied quietly, his voice laced with hopelessness. He honestly didn't . . . she would probably never speak to him again, even if she did know the truth.  
  
"Anyways, Squall, we're willing to let you out of here. You're welcome to go back to your dorm."  
  
"I'll stay here."  
  
"What?" Quistis couldn't understand how anyone could want to spend time in this practical dungeon.  
  
"I said I'll stay here. I don't know if Seifer will show up again." Squall's eyes were now closed and he absently ran a finger over the scar between his eyes. *One can be scarred in much deeper ways than this . . . as he has scarred Rinoa. As I have.*  
  
"Or are you afraid to face the others?" Quistis inquired, stepping closer to Squall and kneeling in front of him on the hard white floor. "Especially Rinoa?"  
  
Squall turned his face away from her. " . . . Whatever."  
  
Quistis couldn't hide the smile that crept to her lips every time he said that. "That word's turning into a cliche, Squall."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"We can have someone keep an eye on you, if that's what you're worried about."  
  
Squall sighed. Quistis was incredibly difficult. "Quistis, I don't know what he'll do when he finds out that everyone knows what's going on."  
  
"Is that why you refused to tell me?"  
  
"Yes. He . . . more or less said that he'd kill Rinoa if I told anyone. I couldn't risk that."  
  
"That could have been what he was planning, anyways."  
  
"No. Not Seifer. He had the chance and he didn't take it."  
  
"He may have only been stalling. Seifer is an unpredictable character."  
  
"It doesn't matter anyways. I don't want to take any risks with this."  
  
"But don't you want to see Sis?"  
  
" . . . Yes, but . . . will she want to see me?"  
  
"Of course she will! If anyone does, she does. You're just being silly."   
  
There was a long pause before Squall spoke again. "Alright. But if Seifer shows up again . . ."  
  
" . . . I won't be afraid to wrap my whip --albeit not *too* tightly-- around your neck."  
  
Squall almost smiled at this. "That's what I was hoping to hear." He reluctantly stood up and left the bleak disciplinary chamber, Quistis close behind him.   
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
The click of Seifer's boots on the Palace floor was even louder than usual, the sound echoing through the desolate blue halls, loudest in his ears. *Yes, as your knight, I've made my decision.* he thought, clenching his hands into fists. With this motion, he noticed they were shaking, and that he could not quell them. He heaved a heavy sigh, hoping that upon speaking with Mayaden the nervousness would go away. He ignored the feeling that something was wrong; inner conflict could only cause more problems.  
  
"Yes, Odine, I know it will kill him." were the first words Seifer heard as he approached Mayaden's office. He leaned on the wall, waiting patiently. The last thing he wanted to do was interrupt an important conversation. Unfortunately, he couldn't help but eavesdrop.  
  
"But you don't vant zat, do you?" was Odine's timid reply, "Seifer vill die if he kills Squall while in control of his mind."  
  
"I *said* it doesn't matter! I don't need the child's help any more. This will be a wonderful way to be rid of him. Killing two birds with one stone, shall we say?"  
  
Seifer's head fell back against the wall as his eyes widened and then narrowed. *She wants me dead.* He leaned forward and began to run without thinking, found himself past the elevator, legs pumping faster than he thought they could, as he moved across blue glass and metal, past numerous guards, until he suddenly found himself outside. *Fuck this. I don't need ~her~. I don't need ~anyone~.*  
  
Seifer continued to run. 


	17. Xiphias

C h a p t e r 1 7  
X i p h i a s  
  
Rinoa had already pulled the blankets over her head to shield the sun from her eyes before she knew she had woken up. A few minutes later she groaned quietly and poked her head out into a room that she didn't know. It took her a few seconds to remember the previous night, and she sat up, swinging her feet over the edge of the bed. This was what she had planned on, anyway, but first her legs came in contact with something, knocking it to the floor with a startling thud. She peered down to see Zell, who had been leaning on the side of the bed as he slept, rubbing his head as he peered up at her.   
  
"The hell was that for?" he asked groggily.  
  
"I didn't know you were there. Sorry."  
  
"Don't matter. Uh . . . Listen, we found some stuff out last night after you were asleep. . . "  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Selphie found Irvine asleep on the second-floor balcony at eight that morning, his back against the wall has he sat on the floor, his lanky form half-flopped-over. She giggled and knelt beside him, staring at him until he stirred. His eyes opened slowly, and when he saw that there was a face only inches from his own, he let out a rather unmanly yelp, and tried to back away from her, with nowhere to go. This only made Selphie giggle more, and as Irvine realized who it was and what had happened, he grabbed his hat from beside him and used it to cover his reddening cheeks.   
  
"You're like a damn cat, you know that?"  
  
"You're adorable." Selphie replied cutely.  
  
"Leeme lone." he replied, his voice muffled, "Tryin' ta sleep."  
  
"It's eight o'clock."  
  
"So?"  
  
"We're supposed to meet in Cid's office. Remember? That's what Quistis told us."  
  
"Will Squall be there?"  
  
" . . . Maybe. So?"  
  
Irvine didn't reply.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"He's gonna be pissed at me. I was so damn rude to him . . ."  
  
"So were the rest of us. He'll understand."  
  
"I guess . . ."  
  
"Come on, we'll be late."  
  
~*~§~*~   
  
  
  
"A new course has been set for the Garden." Squall said as soon as Irvine, the last of the people who were to attend, entered the office. Squall was doing his best to be as official as possible, hoping to avoid confrontation by keeping the subject matter as far away as possible from the previous day's events. Quistis stood close to his side, just in case Seifer decided to pay them another visit. Though he thought her presence would make him feel more as ease, her ready whip only made him nervous.  
  
Rinoa has been silent since she arrived, and noticed that Squall had avoided looking at her. The moment she had seen him she felt like she had been stabbed in the chest. He looked horrible: his clothes and hair were rumpled, with even darker-than-usual bags under his eyes. She could see the pain in those eyes, the sorrow for what his body had done to her. Though they were the same eyes she had feared and searched for answers in the day before, there was a someone completely different behind them now. Still, she found them nearly impossible to look at, as her mind was already overloaded with too much negativity. Rinoa was sure that she wouldn't be comfortable around Squall for a long time, but looked forward to attempting to ease the discomfort that was a haze between them, thick enough to be cut with a knife, and everyone knew it.   
  
What had occurred last night in Zell's room didn't help much, either. She didn't know if Squall yet knew about it, and wasn't looking forward to having to tell him if he didn't. Come to think of it, Zell had also been quite quiet, the usual bouncy tone in his voice having melted into something soft and mellow, even as he explained to her what Ellone had told them when she was found. Rinoa wondered why he seemed so sad -- was he sorry that they had kissed or that he knew that it would never happen again?  
  
"Where are we going?" Selphie asked lightly, hoping that having a bubbly attitude (the only light heart in the room, it seemed), would cheer people up somewhat.  
  
"Grandidi Forest." Squall replied, "Ellone told us that she had been taken through a gigantic forest, and that's the largest in the world. It would be a good place to hide something--like a building. I doubt these people want to be found."  
  
"What're we gonna do when we get there?" Selphie asked, knowing nobody else felt like talking.   
  
"Well, we'll have to leave the Garden near the shore because of all the trees, and then . . . hike, I guess."  
  
"We're hiking. Through Grandidi forest. Are you out of your mind? We could be there for days!" Quistis interrupted.  
  
Squall turned to her. "If that's the case, then so be it. I want to find Seifer and whoever else is behind this. If those people have the technology to take Ellone's powers and use them, I want to stop anything else they're developing before it gets out of hand."  
  
"Are you sure the Garden will be alright on it's own for a few days?" Quistis asked, making sure Squall knew exactly what he was doing and hadn't forgotten anything. She still, in some ways, considered him her student. Besides, his mind wasn't in the stablest of conditions right now.   
  
"I've already spoken with Xu and Nida. They'll be able handle most anything that pops up. I'll also have about fifty SeeDs accompany us in case there's resistance."  
  
" . . . . Which there most likely will be. Are you sure you should go? We don't even know where they are. Maybe you should stay here and--"  
  
"I'm positive I'm going with you. I need to face Seifer." Squall paused for a minute. "If there's nothing else, meet on the second floor balcony at six o'clock. There we'll have a final briefing and I'll answer any questions you have. Dismissed."  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Trees whizzed by Seifer's head at an alarming rate. He'd managed to take a T-bike from one of the guards at the palace entrance, and figured he'd get to the shore by noon, although he hadn't even been riding for twelve hours yet. T-bikes were surely the easiest way to get through the forest--they were fast, you could sit on them, and their ability to hover as they moved overcame nearly any obstacle with swift ease. Seifer didn't know what he'd do once he got to shore. He'd find another goal to achieve, he was sure. If only he had a phone . . . then he could call Garden and tell them he wanted to come back. Surely they'd accept him -- he was a good fighter, and he was sure Squall would keep quiet about the little incident. Well, that was what he hoped. Unfortunately, the more he thought about it, the the less likely it seemed.  
  
Suddenly, after dodging around a particularly large tree, Seifer caught a hint of blue just ahead of him. He jerked the T-bike to the right as quickly as he could, but not fast enough to dodge the blue jacket, and sent the person wearing it flying into the trunk of a tree. Instantly he was off the bike and running towards the person he had hit, and noticing the silver hair atop the woman's head, fell to his knees beside her. It was Fujin, with blood running down her chin from a cut on her lip, her eye patch out of place. She looked up at him, lost.   
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" Seifer asked. Though his words were harsh, his tone was full of concern. "You and Raijin abandoned me . . . I thought you'd never come back."  
  
Fujin groaned and placed a hand on her stomach. They both knew that she could have severe internal bleeding. "PAIN." she whispered, closing her good eye. Seifer replaced the patch over her other one, knowing how much she hated people seeing the empty socket.  
  
"I'm so sorry . . ." Seifer whispered, suddenly realizing with a proverbial punch in the stomach what he had done. "Fujin . . . what were you doing wandering around in the forest like this?"  
  
"NOT WANDERING."  
  
"Then what were you doing?" Seifer asked as he began to undo her jacket to check for bruises.  
  
"RESCUE."  
  
"Who?" Seifer busied himself lifting up her shirt to find that some gigantic dark stains were already beginning to form on her abdomen. This definitely did not look good.  
  
"YOU."  
  
"Fujin . . . you don't need to rescue me! I'm doing fine on my own." He lowered her shirt and began to button her jacket back up. "And now look what happened . . . Looks like now I'm the one rescuing you."  
  
Fujin leaned back against the tree. "RAIJIN."  
  
"Is he here too?"  
  
"SOMEWHERE."  
  
"I'll look for him. You're going to get on the back of the T-bike so I can take you . . . somewhere."  
  
"WHERE?"  
  
"I . . . don't know. I'll figure something out. I'll get you some help." Seifer put an arm around her shoulders and helped her up. The pair limped back to the T-bike, and Fujin leaned forward onto his back as he sat down and started the engine.   
  
"INJURED?" As they began to move, Fujin's weakening arms began to snake around Seifer's waist. He didn't mind.   
  
"Badly. And I only have fire magic on me and I'm out of potions."  
  
"HURRY." The usual emphasis in her voice was beginning to fade into nothing more than a soft, painful groan. Seifer began to feel pain in his own stomach as well.  
  
"I will."  
  
The pair sped off.  
  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
After their dismissal, Zell headed to his room to pack what he knew he would need, and to grab his T-board, which he was positive would come in handy on their expedition. He found it incredibly difficult to concentrate on what he was trying to do: counting out potions and making sure everything with Quezacotl was junctioned correctly. He was too busy thinking about Rinoa.  
  
Zell could see that Rinoa and Squall would be making up sooner than later. Last he'd heard, Rinoa had already been heading for the second floor balcony to look for him. But those two belonged together. They fit together perfectly--Rinoa helped Squall to show his feelings, and Squall helped Rinoa to see that problems could not be fixed by a simple smile and a wave of your hand. Zell already knew that: he wanted Rinoa, even felt that he was beginning to love Rinoa, and couldn't shake the feeling away no matter how hard he tried. There seemed to be no bright side to look on. Their discussion, their kiss, the way she had sunken needily into his arms like he'd thought she could with no other, played over and over in his head, and he was powerless to stop it.   
  
Power was always something Zell had strived for. Power over himself was something he'd never completely had--the power to keep the tears from falling whenever someone said "boo" to him had strengthened since his childhood, but man, did he feel like bursting out in tears right now. Before, his anger and pain had been channelled into his tears. Now, it came out of him in anger, rage that sometimes he feared he would be unable to control. But, when the time came, his punching bags helped a great deal.  
  
Zell wanted the power to control his feelings, to keep from being hurt by all the names he'd been called through his life; to keep from being hurt by rejection. Acting tough had always seemed a good way to gain control of a situation. Being feared meant he was in control, and it kept people quiet. And then Seifer came into the picture, a boy that had never taken him seriously, that had always known exactly what buttons to push to make Zell reach his limits. Zell had been close to frustrated tears several times when dealing with Seifer, and it nearly drove him insane. He was no longer in control around that bastard, and both of them knew it. Needless to say, he was not looking forward to facing Sefier again. He feared that he'd lose control of himself, his anger clouding his judgement, and would make another dumb mistake like he had so many times before.  
  
Zell suddenly realized that, while lost in his thoughts, he'd managed to neatly fill his regualtion-size backpack with all the items he needed--this really hadn't been the difficult task he'd thought--they had been trained in their classes to memorize the list of necessary items for a trip. Having been directed to be the one to carry all the medical items along with his regualr things, he knew his pack would be heavier than those of the others, but that was alright with him. Anything that made him stronger, or at least look stronger, was a plus in his opinion.   
  
Having gotten the chore of packing over with, Zell realized that with a day of free time, he could go visit Balamb. He hadn't seen Ma in weeks, and was sure she'd be happy to see him. She might even prepare him come caterchipillar stew like she usually did upon his rare visits. One thing he knew was that she was an amazing cook, and the way he could nearly taste it convinced him to leave as soon as possible. Besides, Ma always was good with advice, and though he couldn't stand to be considered a 'mama's boy', he loved her dearly.  
  
After a few hard, routine whacks to his punching bag, Zell left to inform his friends that he would be leaving.   
  



	18. El Amor O Muere

Chapter 18  
E l A m o r O M u e r e  
  
~*~ Author's Note ~*~  
  
I want to send out a specail thanks to Larathia, who has helped me a great deal with this story. She sure knows her stuff. Go check out some of her stories, guys; she's amazing. Author search is right at the top of the page. Come on, you know you want to.   
  
~*~ Author's Note ~*~  
  
Rinoa stepped carefully onto the second-floor balcony, the door sliding silently behind her. Squall was there, as she'd supposed he would be, his back to her as if he didn't know she was there. Rinoa had no clue what to say to him; she didn't know what he was thinking and didn't want him to respond in the wrong way to whatever it was she ended up saying. She stood there and stared uncomfortably at the furry fluffs of his jacket-collar twitching in the breeze for a few minutes, glad that she didn't have to look at his face any more, and finally decided that there was only one thing she could do: be completely honest with him: "Squall . . . I don't know what to say. . ."  
  
She had figured he'd remain silent, making this whole task more difficult for her, but instead he gave her something to go on. "You don't need to say anything." he mumbled, barely audible over the strengthening breeze. He kept his eyes to the horizon, sure that if he looked at her, something would fall apart inside of him. He'd never be able to look at her again. All he could see in his mind, playing over and over, was her sobbing face when his fist rammed into her cheekbone, when he was being hauled away to find her tucked safely into Zell's arms . . . the pictures were killing him, and the last thing he wanted to do right now was add another one to the growing pile in his mind.   
  
"Squall . . . something needs to be said . . . we both know what happened in your dorm room, and--"  
  
"Rinoa, I don't want to talk--"  
  
"--and I want to offer you my forgiveness."  
  
"I can't accept it, Rinoa, it's that simple."  
  
"But Squall, I know it wasn't your fault! Ellone explained it to us all. . . you have no reason to be ashamed."  
  
"I have every reason." he replied, straining to keep his voice from rising.  
  
*Why is he being so DIFFICULT? He's acting like I did something to HIM. . . . . . Okay, Rinoa, keep your cool . . don't make things worse . . .* "Squall, please . . . I'm not angry with you. I know it was Seifer. I know it was his fault. How could I hate you for that?" She gambled to move a step closer to him.  
  
"I did nothing to stop him. I was there, Rinoa, I watched . . . I felt everything he did to you . . . and I didn't stop it."  
  
"And why didn't you?"  
  
The back of Squall's throat began to ache. Rinoa, though not completely wanting to for fear of returning memories, was now able to see the side of his face, and noticed him blinking a few times. "Go, Rinoa, just . . . let me be." He couldn't admit such a weakness to her . . . this emotional weakness, a hole in him that he allowed Seifer to create, that Rinoa seemed to misunderstand, that he himself only tried to ignore. This time, though, Squall was unable to fool himself into feeling indifferent. It was a battle between the person he loved and the person he hated, two people he cared deeply for in opposite ways, and he was stuck in the middle. There was nowhere for him to go, no dark corner left in his mind to hide in. His thoughts were filled . . . by Seifer, Rinoa, himself . . . he didn't know. It seemed he didn't know anything anymore.   
  
And now Rinoa was even *angrier* with him. *If I had just shut my mouth in the first place. . .*   
  
"Why didn't you, Squall?" Rinoa repeated, her voice beginning to shake as she realized that Squall was done conversing with her for the time being. "Fine, Squall, just ignore me . . . . I came here to try to fix this crap between us . . . and all you do is turn away from me . . . I want to fix things because don't want to see Seifer when I look at you anymore! Can't you understand that?!"  
  
When Squall refused to reply to her second question, only lowering his gaze to the sea far below in response, Rinoa opened the steel balcony door and tore down the hallway, not knowing what else to do. Squall whipped around at hearing the door slam behind him, to find that she was already long gone.   
  
He'd made her cry by barely even saying anything. Rinoa would never meaningfully forgive him, he could see it. Especially if she didn't see that he hadn't been able to control what his body did to her. He could see that she didn't mean it now--she still held a grudge against him. And now, though Seifer had been gone for a long while, Squall still felt like he wasn't in complete control of his actions. He had wanted to tell Rinoa that there was nothing he could do, that Seifer had again beaten him, beaten him right into the ground and he couldn't do a thing about it.   
  
He slowly returned to his pervious position with his elbows resting on the balcony edge, head low, and watched a tear fall further below him than he could see before lifting himself over the balcony ledge. He sat on the edge, looking down, a sudden gust of wind almost knocking him off-balance, giving him a strange rush that he wasn't sure he loved or hated.   
  
But instead of being honest with Rinoa, he had reverted into his Iceberg Shell again, as though it offered shelter from something he didn't even know. No--he knew what it was: it was shelter from being exposed to Rinoa, being emotionally naked for her unforgiving eyes to see and thin lips to snigger at. That was when the Shell always came into effect--that was when it was most handy. Before, when he used his Shell, it had frozen him inside out--numbed him from deep thought, or from pain, or from knowing he'd been exposed in some way. Now . . . all it was was a sheet of ice trying to cover the sun, barely able to handle his outside, let alone his inside.   
  
Oh, how he wished for that feeling he'd been without for ages, the feeling he got when he acted so indifferent for a time that it became how he felt. It was slowly leaving him, seeping from emotional wounds nobody other than himself, not even Rinoa, could see.  
  
*I just care too damn much.* His fingers gripped the edge of the rail behind him tightly, his black gloves practically digging into the thick, rough cement. He leaned forward, arms straight at small angles behind him, to see more of the sea, watching the few dolphins that frolicked in the Garden's wake and the seagulls that followed close behind.  
  
*I couldn't make Rinoa cry anymore if I was dead.*  
  
The sudden thought hit him like more wind, only harder: a hurricane, tensing his nerves and making his heart seem to sink further into his chest and beat fifty times faster. Another rush--the thought of momentarily flying right behind those seagulls as his last living memory was morbidly appealing.  
  
*This is the one thing I have control over: whether I live or die.*  
  
Or maybe not even that? As far as anyone knew, Seifer could re-enter Squall's mind at any time, and who was to say it wouldn't be Seifer who finally pushed him over the edge? Who could say how far that bastard would go?  
  
*So why not do it now?*   
  
He leaned forward a little more, fingers gradually relaxing their tight grip on the cement ledge, as he watched the gulls below his dangling black boots. One of their tiny feathers floated up to him and almost *hung* in the air, just a few feet from of his face.   
  
*If I had one of those, I could fly, too. Or make a wish . . .*  
  
Squall stretched out to catch the little white fluff, just as a sudden gust of wind blew it far from his reach. He wavered there, almost in midair, for a second, his eyes widening in surprise, and lost his balance.   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Zell had noticed, not long after leaving his dorm room, that the Garden was moving. He half-laughed at himself for forgetting that Balamb Garden could now fly, or sail, or whatever you wanted to call it. While in his room, he had thought they were still on that small island-continent, next to Balamb, near his mother, near everything he'd grown up with. Looking past the graceful girders holding up the ceiling as he headed down the dorm hallway, he found that they were still surrounded by sea. Endless, timeless sea. He couldn't help but feel incredibly disappointed. The imagined taste of Caterchipillar Stew now left his mouth. He found himself hungry.  
  
His path had turned to the Cafeteria, as he now had nothing to inform anyone of. He would not be leaving--he had nowhere to go. Now he hoped that by some miracle the Caf would still be stocked with some of the day's leftover hot dogs. Hot dogs were to him what Triple-Chocolate-Fudge-Ripple Ice Cream was to an ailing teenage girl, and he knew damn well he needed comfort.  
  
Upon reaching the Cafeteria counter, he plunked his elbows down on it loudly, resting his face in his hands as Margaret, the shorter and fairer-skinned of the two women who worked there, walked up to him. With one look at Zell's sad expression, hers turned to worry. "Something buggin' ya, sweetie?"  
  
Zell shrugged. "As usual."  
  
"Well . . . I think we have just what you need right here . . . oh, come on back here if ya'd like."  
  
Zell was obliged. He swept around to the end of the counter and headed through the hinged gate at the back. He should have known that Margaret would come to his rescue--she had always been there when he couldn't talk to his mother. They'd chatted numerous times on those early weekend mornings when Zell found enough energy to get up at four and wait for the hotdogs to be ready.   
  
He could already smell the hot-dogg-y fumes emitting from the kitchen. "Oh, Margaret, thank you so much . . ."  
  
"Yeah, well, I figured I could spare a couple o' these 'til tomorrow . . ."  
  
"You're the *best*." Zell replied, mouth gaping open at the sight as Margaret handed him a paper plate, stacked high with *five* of them.  
  
"It's nothin'. You know you're my favourite. Remind me of my own son. He's a hyperactive kid, too."  
  
Zell would have grinned and shook his head at her, but decided not to, as his mouth was already stuffed with food.  
  
"Look, kid, I gotta go. My shift was over fifteen minutes ago."  
  
Zell looked at her with puffed out cheeks and the biggest, sweetest puppy-dog eyes he could muster. "Aww . . ." he groaned, having hoped she'd be there for him to talk to.  
  
"I'm sorry. I know you love me Zell, but Agatha's comin' in to work and if she see's you back here. . . "  
  
Zell's face changed to an expression of extreme distaste. "Ugh. Are you sure that bitch isn't really a man?" he asked as Margaret began to push him out of the kitchen. He allowed her to, although if he wanted to, he could have stopped the tiny woman in a second.  
  
"Unfortunately, yes." she replied, stifling a giggle as she shut the swinging door behind him. "Bye Zell, come back to see me tomorrow!" she called as she left out the back door. Zell slumped himself into the furthest booth at the back, throwing his backpack to the seat beside him. He picked at his hotdogs, no longer very hungry as he wallowed in his disappointment. After a few minutes, he heard the Caf door open and a few light steps.  
  
"Excuse me?" called a girl's voice. Zell looked up, a little startled, to find a petite girl who looked about sixteen in a SeeD uniform by the doorway.  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Well, there's no one else here."   
  
Zell looked around to find that she was right but didn't answer her.  
  
"Have you seen Margaret today?"  
  
"She just left. Why?"  
  
"Well, I was hoping to catch her after her shift was over." the girl replied, a brown ponytail bouncing behind her head as she walked over to his table. He knew he recognized her . . . where was she . . . *Library! She's from the Library! How could I forget that??*  
  
"Y-You missed her." Zell replied nervously. He became anxious as soon as a girl came more than ten feet away from him. If she was talking to him. And *looking* at him like she was. And *hot* like she was. The only girl he felt sort of comfortable around was Rinoa. And he was just too afraid of where that was going.  
  
"Darn." the girl's foot stomped the floor lightly, coming off to Zell as extremely cute. "Hey--is your name Zell?"  
  
"Uh . . . . . yeah." *Geez, buddy, the hell's wrong with you? Can't remember your own name?* he scolded himself.  
  
"She talks about you all the time. I could tell it was you by the hair." This remark made Zell's cheeks burn. "Cuz y'know, I've seen ya 'round, but I never made the connection . . . Oh, Margaret's my mom by the way."  
  
"Oh! Well, she, uh . . . she said she had a daughter. Hey wait-- um, you don't happen to . . . work in the library do you?"  
  
"Yeah, I do. Mind if I sit with ya?" she asked, inching a little closer to Zell's table, "I gotta wait for my mum to get outta there."   
  
Zell waved his hand, concentrating hard to keep it from shaking, "Go ahead."  
  
"So what's wrong with you?" she asked as she planted herself into the seat across from him.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You're so . . . mopy. The couple times I've seen ya, you've been jumping around like a loon."  
  
"Ah . . . . I dunno. Just that girls suck."  
  
"Oh gee, thanks a lot."  
  
Zell tensed up, trying to cover his boo-boo. "No, not you! That's not what I meant--"  
  
The girl reached across the table to lightly slap his arm. "I know. I was *kidding* with you. Geez, guy." She smiled at him.   
  
*Perfect teeth,* he noted. *Dude . . . she's ~flirting~ with me . . .* The thought made more butterflies erupt into his stomach. Happy butterflies.   
  
"So what's goin' on? Just get dumped or somethin'?"  
  
"Uh . . . not quite like that . . . my best friend's girlfriend . . . at least I think she's his girlfriend . . . I don't freakin' know."  
  
She let out a low whistle. "Ooo, that's rough. So I'm figuring you're all hung up on this chick?" The girl's eyes seemed to change; to lose a little of their hazel glow.  
  
"Yea--uh . . ." *Duh! Don't tell her that!* " . . . Nah, not really."  
  
The girl smiled. "Cuz ya know, if it doesn't work out with her, I'm sure there's lots of girls that would take you in."  
  
*Who? You? Tell me!* He shrugged, "I dunno. Doubt it."  
  
"Wanna bet?" she replied, leaning forward on the table.  
  
*Wow, what's up with this chick? She's all . . . nice and flirty and stuff . . .* "Um . . ." he faltered, without a clue as to how to respond.  
  
"Lathaina! There you are! I thought I said you could meet me in the back!" It was Margaret's voice, calling from behind the counter, changed from her Caf-lady uniform. Zell made a mental note to thank her for saving him from the slightly uncomfortable situation.   
  
"Wait a sec, mum!" the girl replied, getting up from the table.  
  
"So, your name's Lathaina, huh?"  
  
Zell stood up as well, noticing that the girl only came up to his chin, or a little higher. He didn't notice when sitting down that she couldn't have been more than five feet tall.   
  
"Oh, crap, I never told ya, did I? Great manners I've got. Sorry 'bout that."  
  
"No prob. Hey, um--"  
  
"Hurry up, dear!" called Margaret's impatient voice again.   
  
"Hey, I'll see ya 'round, k?" Lathaina said hurriedly, glancing at her mother past Zell's shoulder, "I gotta go . . . she gets pissed."  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
"Bye." With that Lathaina turned and followed her mother, as Zell waved to her back. When she was gone, he gobbled up his remaining four hotdogs, his appetite having returned ten-fold. As he left the Cafeteria, needing to tell *someone* about this good stuff, he jumped up to slap the wall over the doorframe so enthusiastically that a crack formed in the paint.  



	19. Valiant

Chapter 19  
V a l i a n t  
  
There was a hand around his, grasping tightly, almost *too* tightly, but he clung back just the same to what was now his only lifeline, the beckoning blue of sea and sky surrounding him blurred by his pure and utter horror. His shirt collar and heavy chain necklace suddenly tried to tear into his neck, cutting off his air supply and at the same time pulling a choked yelp from his throat. A sharp edge of cement dug into his back and then he fell, thudding sickeningly onto cool enamel, jolted halfway back to reality. His eyes began to focus again, his ears reopening.  
  
"What the *fuck* was that, man??"  
  
Squall only replied with a weak grunt as he tried to push himself to a sitting position with his arms. He necklace was still digging into his throat, helping to pull him up. He leaned against the cool balcony wall as the hand at the back of his collar released its grip. He began to breathe again.  
  
"I *said* what the *fuck* was *that*?!"   
  
Squall looked across the ground, curious as to who was the owner of such an angry voice, to see a pair of boots, up further, finding chaps, a tan trenchcoat, and finally slitted eyes almost hiding behind the brim of a cowboy hat. "I . . . I don't know." Squall lifted a hand to his temple. Another headache. He wasn't surprised. *What ~did~ I just do?* Honestly, he could hardly remember . . . Had he meant to go over the edge? "What happened?"  
  
"All I know is I came up here to see what was up after Rinoa tore past me like a damn *bullet* down the hallway, and you were fuckin' sitting on that damn ledge and then you just, like, fell over . . . What were you tryin' ta do? *Kill* yourself? What the hell *happened* between you two just now?"   
  
Squall didn't reply. *Too many questions.* He could feel tears welling up behind his aching eyes, begging to be released. Again he refused them, not knowing if shock or something deeper was to blame. With his eyes closed, he could sense Irvine kneeling beside him by the shifting of light 'and darkness on his eyelids and the sound of his two clicking steps.  
  
"You were, weren't you." Irvine's voice was quiet now; concerned.  
  
"What?" Squall's voice came out much closer to that of a shivering hummingbird than he had predicted.  
  
"Why do you want to die?" He could feel Irvine's eyes burning into the side of his face and he turned it to the side.  
  
"I *don't,* I . . . I don't know anything."  
  
Irvine ignored Squall's dismissal of the problem. He wouldn't give up that easily. "She doesn't understand a thing, does she?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Rinoa. She doesn't get it that you're in as much pain as she is."  
  
"How do you know--"  
  
"I'm very observant, Squall. I see people and I see what they do when nobody's watching me. When I sit, all quiet, in that far corner in any given room, do you think I'm just off in my thoughts somewhere? On another planet?" When Squall didn't reply, he continued, "No. I'm watching you. Not just you. Everyone. It's something I taught myself so I could learn the fastest way to get into a girl's pants, but lately I've realized that there's so many better uses for it. Nobody can hide from me, Squall, not even *you*."  
  
Those last words, Squall knew, would be taken as threatening in any other situation--especially to himself, whose practical goal in life was just that: to hide from everyone. Now, though, he wasn't threatened, but comforted; someone was close to understanding him without him having to admit to or explain a thing. Was this someone he could look to for help? Slutty, sex-crazed Irvine? He turned and stared at the gun-toting cowboy, hard, right in his eyes, searching and allowing him to search as well.   
  
*An offering?* Irvine wondered as he stared back. Those eyes were deep but open, almost begging for help, drowning in unfallen tears. In truth, Irvine was surprised Squall hadn't hit him by now. It seemed that would be such a . . . *Squall-ish* thing to do. *Rinoa has left him . . . he has no-one to open up to now . . . . but me?* "I'm here to help you, man. Me, and Selphie, and Quistis, and Zell--"  
  
Squall interrupted him with a quiet guffaw, close to grinning, as he let his head fall back into the wall, averting his eyes to the sky. "Zell." he mumbled.  
  
"What?" *Oh shit,* he realized, *Zell and Rinoa . . . he knows about that?*  
  
"All I know is that Rinoa slept in his room last night. Zell's there for her, not me."  
  
"And as far as *I* know, sleeping's all that happened. She was afraid, Squall . . . she was confused and she needed someone. Zell was there. What would *you* have done?"   
  
"I wouldn't have slept in Zell's bed, that's for sure."  
  
"And if Selphie was there for *you*? Or Quistis? Wouldn't you have done the same thing she did?"  
  
Squall's head lowered. "No." His voice was adamant. Of course he wouldn't. Rinoa was different from him, in almost every way he could think of. "Just because *you* would have. . . " Irvine was a whore. There was no way to ignore that. It figured he would think this way.  
  
Knowing the attack on him was a sign that Squall *did not want to talk about it,* Irvine discontinued this portion of the conversation. Keeping it going would only make things worse, and all he really wanted right now was to get Squall far away from the ledge, away from the balcony, into the deepest, most secure part of the Garden. To keep him safe from himself. "Has Seifer come back yet?"   
  
"No."  
  
"Maybe he won't."  
  
"Don't let your guard down and don't get your hopes up."  
  
"Hey--don't worry. I'll be able to tell it's him the instant he decides to drop in."  
  
"I'm tired." Squall replied, secretly thankful for Irvine's assurance, though he didn't want to talk about that anymore, either. It was an honest statement--he felt he might just collapse into slumber right there on the floor.  
  
Irvine found this to be an excellent window of opportunity. "Alright, then, let's get you the hell back to your room."  
  
Squall stood on shaky legs as he followed Irvine to the door. He tripped and nearly fell down the small flight of stairs, causing Irvine to take hold of his arm and refuse to let go until they got to the first floor.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Zell found Selphie, Quistis, and Ellone standing by a large window in the hallway that lead to the parking lot. He sauntered up to them slowly, eyeing them to see if they were having a "girl talk" that he knew better than to interrupt. As he noticed Selphie turning her gaze from the window to burst out into laughter, he realized this was not the case. "What's uuuuuuuup, guys?" he called, smiling at the trio as they turned their eyes to him.   
  
"Just, um, recalling a few incidents from back in the Orphanage Days." Quistis explained, trying to hide a smile. At seeing Zell, Selphie began to laugh again, her arms wrapped around her stomach.  
  
"The hell's so funny?" he asked, eyeing them suspiciously.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Don't worry about it." Selphie replied.   
  
"Come on, I wanna know!" Zell didn't notice the whine in his voice, but the others did. Unfortunately, none of them got the chance to tell him to be quiet: Rinoa raced by them, and in the few seconds that her face was visible, they saw that she was crying. "Oh great . . . what happened now?" Zell asked, watching as she turned into the parking lot hallway. His heart began to beat faster when he saw her. Despite his discussion with the girl from the library (that it seemed he wouldn't be able to tell anyone about for a while now), he still felt for Rinoa. It was a feeling he couldn't shake, though now he was beginning to want to grow out of it.  
  
"I don't know . . . maybe you should go after her. I know I'd just end up saying the wrong things." Quistis told him, "She'd probably talk to you."  
  
"Alright. . ." Zell began to walk away from the group, hands stuffed into his pockets. He had no clue what to say to her. "I'm no good at this stuff, you guys."  
  
"I'll come too." Selphie said, "In case you need some help." She began to follow him.  
  
"I'm going to look for Squall." Ellone decided thoughtfully, "I really missed him, and I haven't gotten to talk to him yet. He needs to know I didn't mean to abandon him back at the orphanage." She headed towards the elevators, Quistis deciding to follow to see how Squall was doing. If Rinoa was crying, it most likely had something to do with him. Hopefully Seifer hadn't decided to come back while she wasn't around.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Rinoa found herself in the parking lot, breathing heavily from her sprint but not tired in the least. By now she was bawling, heaving choking sobs in a way she hadn't since childhood. She fell to her hands an knees on the ground, exasperated, frustrated, and began to pound the cement floor with the sides of her fists in her anger. Her face burned from the stares she'd received as she ran, past Zell, past Quistis, Ellone, and Selphie, thankful to finally be alone. Unfortunately, this didn't last long.  
  
"Rinoa?" Selphie's scared-sounding voice echoed through the spacious garage. Rinoa stilled, though her sobs were still audible.   
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Rinoa . . . what's wrong?" Selphie asked, walking up to her to stand behind her. Zell remained at the doorway. He was both confident and relieved that Selphie could take care of this by herself.   
  
"Nothing." Rinoa replied, he voice cracking. "Go away."  
  
"I know that's not true. You should tell us."  
  
*Us? Who else is here?* Rinoa turned around to see Zell leaning on the doorframe. Her eyes narrowed. "Why should I?"  
  
"Because we're your friends." Zell replied simply.  
  
"You're not, Zell . . . " She let out a sob that sounded more like a hiccup, "You used me."  
  
"What?" Zell took a step back. "Rinoa, I didn't--"  
  
"You wanted a damn kiss from me so you took me in your room and you--"  
  
"You did *what* Zell? Selphie interrupted, "I thought . . . "  
  
Zell couldn't reply to that. *Is that what she thinks?* He turned and left, heading back for his room. He couldn't take hearing that from her . . . she had kissed him as much as he had kissed her, and he only did it because he cared for her.  
  
"Never mind." Rinoa replied, "It doesn't matter. I don't care about that. I don't care about anything. Leave me alone."  
  
"Rinoa, please . . . please tell me." Selphie knelt beside her. "I want to be your friend. You can trust me."  
  
"I said I don't want to *fucking* talk about it!" Rinoa suddenly stood up and glared at her, her fists clenched and quivering at her sides. Selphie stepped back, alarmed and a little afraid.  
  
"I'm . . . I'm sorry."  
  
"Go away!" Rinoa continued, "I don't want you to be my friend and I don't want Zell to be my friend. I just want to be left alone!"   
  
"Fine." Selphie's lip quivered, "Fine, have it your way." With that, she turned and stormed out of the parking lot, a scowl on her face.   
  
Rinoa fell back onto her bottom on the ground, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in her hands. Guilt overtook her, and her sobs grew. Why did she have to take it out on them?   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Zell's footsteps were light, quick, though not quite a run, as he left the parking lot. He couldn't believe Rinoa thought of him this way. He hadn't wanted to hurt her--he'd only wanted to comfort her, and the attraction to her that still lingered within him began to bore a regretful hole within his stomach. He wished with all he had that he hadn't kissed her, though it was something he had longed for for so long, just so that she wouldn't be crying right now. All he was really wishing for was for her to be happy.  
  
And for the possibility that Squall would not disown him when he found out about it. That was, if he hadn't already. He considered Squall a good--if not his best--friend, and looked up to him like an older brother. To do this, especially to Squall, meant certain death, relationship-wise. Rinoa never planned to speak to him again, and he wouldn't be surprised if Squall decided to lop off his head with his gunblade, maybe pulling the trigger in mid-swing for a decent cranial explosion.  
  
Zell winced at the thought and shook his head, doing his best to push the thought from his mind. *At least I have a chance with that girl from the Caf, Lathaina . . .* He opened his eyes, and was surprised to see the Lathaina walking down the hall a ways ahead of him. He smiled at the sight of her, able to recognise her by only the pigtail at the back of her head. He waved and was about to call her name to get her attention when a male student walked up to her, stringing his arm around hers as they continued to walk. Zell lowered his arm and stared at the ground. He wasn't about to say a word now, not when it looked like she already had a boyfriend. *Looks like she wasn't interested. Oh well, Zell,* he told himself, *you shouldn't be disappointed. How could you expect someone as hot as her to be interested in someone like you?* Still, he couldn't help the tears he could feel begging to burst from his eyes. He stopped them from falling, though, as he watched the couple head for the dorms.   
  
Just as he was about to turn around, not knowing *where* he was heading, he noticed Irvine leaving the dorms and tipping his hat at the happy pair before noticing Zell some thirty feet away. Zell ran over to him, forgetting about Lathaina as he waved his arms in the air. "Hey, man, I need your help."  
  
*Oh, great. More people needing my help. Isn't saving one life a day enough? Ugh, and I wanted to go take a nap.* "What's up?" Irvine asked cheerily, contradicting his thoughts.  
  
"Rinoa's throwin' a damn temper-tantrum in the parking lot. It looked like Selphie would get nowhere when I left. I think she might need your help to get Rinoa calmed down." Zell replied. "She wouldn't even say a word to me."  
  
Irvine sighed, "Alright, I guess I'll check it out. I think I know what this is about, anywho." He began to walk again, Zell following close behind. "Uh, Zell?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I think I'm gonna need to be alone with the girl before she listens to me."  
  
"Oh, okay . . " Zell slowed his steps and was about to turn around when Irvine beckoned him over with a wave of his hand and whispered,   
  
"Just one thing . . . I need to know how far you two went last night."  
  
"Uh . . ." Zell gulped. "I kissed her."  
  
"That's it? You sure you're tellin' me the truth?"   
  
"What the hell kinda guy d'ya think I am? Geez Irvine . . ."  
  
"Alright, alright, sorry . . . " Irvine turned and headed for the parking lot. He was sure Squall would be pleased to learn of this. It seemed to Irvine that the guy was sure Zell had gotten at least a home run.  
  
"Uh . . . bye Irvine . . ." Zell called uncomfortably. He never quite knew how to act around the guy. Irvine only lifted his hand to give a half-hearted wave, not bothering even to turn his head.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Irvine found Rinoa in the parking lot, sure as Zell had said, alone and chucking stones at the walls. It looked like she'd been doing this for a while--rocks and pebbles alike were scattered all over the ground. Her back to him, Rinoa only realized he was there when he said, "Hey, Rinoa?"  
  
"What do *you* want?" she replied angrily.  
  
"Oh, so you're gonna be like that. What the hell's your problem?" Blunt and to-the-point. Irvine would do no beating-'round-the-bush when it came to figuring out people's problems. Especially people like Rinoa--she was someone who would bathe in the comfort of one who chose to be soft with her, and end up finding some way to use that against them. He'd seen her argue before, and it wasn't pretty. This was the only way he knew of to deal with her. He sighed, knowing it would get quite dirty.  
  
"Nothing." Rinoa replied. Irvine had to stifle a chuckle, wondering if she knew how many Squall-isms she had picked up.  
  
"Then stop frickin' moping in here and get on with your damn life. This is a parking lot, not some place for you to chuck rocks and whine your fool head off." At that remark, Rinoa threw one of her stones back over her shoulder, missing Irvine completely.   
  
"Ha! Missed me by a mile!" he teased, knowing that to get her riled up was to get her to talk. *You get what you give,* he thought, *I'm not about to let you get to me.*  
  
"Shut up!" she replied, about to break into another round of sobs. Why was Irvine being to mean to her? She turned around to throw the next one, and her aim was better, though Irvine neatly sidestepped it.  
  
"Ooooh, Rinoa, you're gettin' better. Might actually hit me with that little baby-throw." Irvine forced a laugh, though he wasn't pleased with himself in the least. He sure hoped this would work. "Not that you could hurt me anyways."  
  
That was it. Rinoa burst out into tears and stood up, whipping her next stone at a nearby car's window, shattering it. Irvine let out a low whistle.  
  
"Damn. That's gonna cost a lot of money to fix. It'll probably have to come out of your pocket, too." He watched as her fists clenched tighter and tighter at her sides. All she wanted was to scare him away with her anger, as she had the others, but he refused to let her plan work. "Though I must say I'm pleased. I was sure your weakling little arms wouldn't be able to break that with a fifty-pound--"  
  
"Go to hell, Irvine!!" He was cut off as Rinoa finally lunged at him, pounding on his arms and chest. He didn't try to stop her, as she was barely causing him any pain, but as she slashed a fingernail across his cheek, managing to draw blood, Irvine grabbed her wrists and forced her to look him in the eye. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked.  
  
It was now that she began to talk, as he was practically forcing her, "I can't fucking believe you! Everyone's against me! Can't you damn people see that *I'm* the victim here? That Squall tried to rape *me*, and not the other way around??"   
  
Irvine stared at her in near disbelief. "You think that you're the only person upset by this whole thing?"  
  
"You're hurting me!"  
  
"I don't care!" despite this statement, Irvine loosened his grip, making sure, though, to keep it firm. The last thing he wanted was to make this seem like a recreation of what she'd already gone through. "There are some things you have to fucking understand here!"  
  
"I understand everything! Nobody cares about me! It's all 'Squall, Squall, Squall. Who cares about Rinoa? She's the outsider, and Squall's the commander. Of course we don't care about her'."  
  
"Then why the hell do you think *I'm* here??" Irvine replied, his voice raised. Rinoa became quiet. She stopped fighting and stood there as Irvine let go of her.   
  
"He doesn't understand. None of you understand. I almost got raped. That hurts . . . but none of you can see it . . ."  
  
"Squall did too, Rinoa."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Seifer took over his mind. Took total control of him. Used him to hurt you. He cares about you, ya know. Doesn't that count as rape, too?"  
  
"Great . . . . great. So you came here to let me know why I should feel sorry for Squall, so I understand why everyone's giving *him* all their attention," Rinoa began to hit him again and he allowed her pounding his chest, emphasizing every word with another punch, "Just . . so . . I can . .feel . . shittier? Damn it, I'm all alone here!"  
  
"No you're not!" Irvine placed a hand on each of her shoulders. He lowered the volume of his voice to a near whisper, so she would quiet as well to listen to him, "We all want to be here for *both* of you. You need to realize that Squall is in as much pain as you are."  
  
"How do you even know he is? I know he wouldn't tell you." Rinoa stared down at her feet.  
  
"He tried to kill himself when you left the balcony."  
  
Rinoa looked up at him, her eyes big and full of honest regret, hoping that Irvine was lying, waiting for him to say it wasn't true. But she only found honesty written on his face, and at the realization that there was no way he was lying to her, her knees buckled and she fell forward onto him.   
  
Of course, Irvine was there to catch her; that was why he had come to find her in the first place. He held her without caring that her mascara-blackened tears were soaking into his jacket collar and would probably put it in need of dry-cleaning, or that the slash on the side of his face might even need stitches. These were mere battle-wounds that he'd have to deal with in exchange for his victory. He had gotten through to her, and was taken over by the pure satisfaction of success.   
  
"Is . . . is he okay?" she managed to choke out.  
  
"Yeah . . . I caught him at the last second and then brought him to his room. He's there now, out like a light."  
  
Rinoa leaned back from him and looked at him, knowing that even if nobody else would tell her the truth, Irvine would, "Did he do it because of how I acted with him?"  
  
"Most likely." Irvine replied, almost feeling Rinoa's wince at the last answer she wanted to hear. "You're the one who affects him most. If you're understanding with him, he will be with you." Irvine paused, "You know, he thinks you're planning to stay with Zell."  
  
"*What?*" Rinoa replied, "Are you serious?"  
  
"That's the impression I got. Look, you need to talk with him when he wakes up. He needs to know what you're thinking."  
  
"I guess. If he'll listen."  
  
"He always listens, even if it seems like he's not. Remember that." Rinoa nodded and turned her head. Irvine looked down at her, "Ready to go?"  
  
Rinoa dropped her arms from his shoulders and took a step backwards. Irvine handed her a handkerchief from the inside pocket of his jacket and she wiped her eyes, then blew her nose loudly. When she tried to hand it back to him, Irvine replied with "You keep it," a little grossed out at the snotty thing. The pair left the parking lot, side-by-side.   
  
  



	20. Encuentre Su Manera

Chapter 20  
E n c u e n t r e S u M a n e r a  
Zell was cold. He sat on his bed, alone in his dorm, watching his knee bounce up and down as though in a trance, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't know why he kept shivering, kept chattering his teeth. Was he cold? Or just nervous? No, not nerves . . . fear? Maybe. Lonely? Most likely. Why was it making him shiver? Anger. Anger at being lonely made him want to just jump up and punch a hole through his damn wall, and he didn't know what was holding him back. Lathaina was with some other guy. She'd flirted with him relentlessly, and she was taken? What was this?  
*Figure it out, Zell. She was never interested. She was just being nice. She'd never want to date ~you~.*  
  
Zell stood at that thought and began to take out his frustrations on his punching bag, as he had always done when he began to think like this. Usually he was able to divert all of his concentration into his fists, but now, the thoughts were just too powerful to avoid.  
  
*And then there's Rinoa. Psh--sayin' I used her when she really used ~me~. Aww, poor her, wants comfort, turns to me, and then . . . runs back to Squall as soon as she gets the chance. If that's what she's doing. I don't know. But hey, what could I expect?*  
  
Zell was aware that his thoughts were basically rambling. He didn't care. It didn't matter if he cared anyways . . . he had no control over them.  
  
"Argh! Shit!" Zell pulled back his hand in pain--while not concentrating on what he was doing, he slipped twisted his wrist the wrong way during a particularly hard blow. It hurt like a bitch. Without really thinking about it, he grabbed his backpack from his bed, opened it, and pulled out the black medical kit.   
  
*Twelve megalixirs, fifteen potions . . . six remedies . . . four softs . . .* He fingered the tiny, multicoloured vials, then finally chose a potion. That should do--he wasn't hurt badly. Just sprained, probably. He laughed as he dabbed some onto the parts of his wrist that hurt. A few seconds later, the pain was gone.   
  
*If only I could use this for my mind . . . make the pain there gone too . . .* Suddenly his eyes lit up . . . maybe he could? He grabbed another vial from the satchel, and held it to his lips. Surely it couldn't hurt him--it was only a little potion. He swallowed the bittersweet liquid quickly, something he was not used to doing. He'd only had to drink medication once: when he had been hit so hard in the stomach by a wendigo that he had received severe internal injuries. He laid back on his bed as the medicine was quickly absorbed into his bloodstream, feeling a little nervous at knowing how his friends would look down at what he was doing. Especially Squall . . . he had admired the student from afar for years, never having really known him, but able to recognize his quiet leadership capabilities and solitude as a state of deep thought rather than just a way to evade his problems.   
  
Zell was beginning to feel pretty good . . . . indifferent, anyways, which was strange, given his nature as an extremist. A welcome change, if you asked him. He relaxed, planning to just enjoy this and hoping that he wouldn't have to leave his room for a while.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Rinoa's steps were light beside Irvine's, as though the white wings printed on her shawl were there to help lift her; to keep her walking. Irvine turned and looked down at her as they turned right down the main hallway. Her features were rather blank, the redness on her face already fading. She looked much too deep in thought for the normal, light-hearted Rinoa, and Irvine decided he should pull her out before she fell to far: "Hey, you okay, kid?"  
  
Rinoa looked up at him, a strange sadness written in new, barely-visible frown lines at the corners of her lips. She took a second to answer, and when she did, her voice was quiet enough that he had to strain to hear her. "Um . . . is Squall in his room right now?"  
  
"Yeah . . . looked like he fell asleep as soon as he opened his door. You plannin' on givin' him a visit?"  
  
"I . . . don't know. I just really need to talk with him . . . explain things, you know?"  
  
"I think he needs his sleep, Rinoa . . . he was awake all of last night, and after what happened . . ."  
  
"I just need to see him. I'll keep that in mind, though."  
  
Irvine nodded slightly. "Alright. I'm gonna go see Selphie. Um . . . take care of yourself. And take care of Squall. Don't push him into saying anything . . . if he wants to be quiet, let him be, okay?"  
  
Rinoa looked away, then back at him. "Would you tell Selphie I'm sorry? I think I really upset her earlier."  
  
"Will do." Irvine replied. With a couple waves, the pair separated.   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Tiny grains of sand flittered across leather and seeped through black fingers to be suddenly airborne, landing in calm, bluer-than-sky waves with what sounded a soft hiss. Seifer drew back his hand from the half-hearted toss, and turned squinting eyes to the young woman laying next to him. Despite the bright sun that shone upon her hair, it's silver seemed to have faded to an opaque, neutral grey. Her eyes were closed, silver lashes dusting pale cheeks. She occasionally let out a painful moan in her sleep, each one making Seifer wince.  
  
*I did this.* He turned back to the calm waves, holding one hand up to shield the sun from his eyes while the other buried it's black glove in near-white sand. Nothing. Not a ship, an aeroplane, a monster, only sea and sky joining at a near-invisible horizon, the sand beneath his bottom, and the woman beside him. He turned back again at the sound of another groan. She shifted to her side, her eyes shut tightly. *She needs help. Soon. No, not soon. Now. And ~I~ can't even help her.*   
  
Seifer removed his silver trenchcoat and half-heartedly folded it, placing it gently (as gently as someone like Seifer could manage, anyways) behind Fujin's head. She stirred, and turned to look up at him. "Where?" she asked, her voice having lost it's natural power.   
  
"We're at a coast off the edge of the forest." he replied, doing his best to hide the pained tone in his voice at hearing the weakness in hers.  
  
"Next?"  
  
"I don't . . . Fujin, you can talk to me like a normal person. We're alone here."  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, it's pissing me off. You've done it before, and--"  
  
"STOP. I can talk however the hell I want. Don't forget that. Now tell me where we're going."  
  
Seifer was surprised to hear her actually do as he'd asked, but left that part alone. "I don't know where we're going. We're not going anywhere right now, I can tell you that. How'd you get here?"  
  
"We came in a ship. It was too different with you gone, so we came to get you."  
  
"And the ship left?"  
  
Fujin nodded and winced, raising a hand to her stomach. Seifer could plainly see that she was trying to hide the pain she was in--she always had, even three years ago when she'd stumbled from the training centre after a fight with a T-Rexaur, with blood streaming down her face. She'd even acted like she hadn't cared when Dr. Kadowaki told her that she'd lost the eye.  
  
"I'll think of something." Seifer mumbled, almost to himself, as he turned his eyes away from her. Fujin's pride allowed her to get quite defensive when someone saw her in any type of trouble, and he didn't need that right now.  
  
"Your fault." Fujin said quietly. Her breathing was laboured.  
  
"You think I don't know that?!" Seifer almost swung at her. She didn't have to rub it in. "You think if it wasn't my fault I'd be helping you right now? You freakin' abandoned me. I thought we were a posse, and look! You never gave a shit!"  
  
"Why do you think we came back to look for you?" she replied. Seifer grew silent. For a time, anyways. His eyes suddenly widened, then squinted, then widened again. "What the . . ."  
  
" . . . What?" came Fujin's growing-weary reply.  
  
"The Garden!" Seifer jumped up, having to consciously keep himself from trying to run to the tiny speck on the horizon. "Balamb!"  
  
"Seifer. . . all the Gardens hate us . . . we've abandoned them."  
  
"Maybe it's coming here! How do I get it to . . ."  
  
"If I were you, I'd hope they *didn't* come there."  
  
Seifer sat back down, still eyeing the speck that seemed to be growing smaller, "No, they'll--"  
  
"Hang us both."  
  
"Hey!" Seifer stood again as the speck finally disappeared, "Where're you going??"  
  
"Shut up. They can't hear you."  
  
And again, Seifer slumped to the ground in defeat, beginning to play with the tiny ball that hung around his neck. He knew he was being childish, and he didn't really care. He was giving up. If only--  
  
"Hey . . . I know what to do." he whispered. Fujin didn't reply. "I'd like my coat back for a while please." His voice dripped with false politeness.  
  
Scowling, Fujin pulled the jacket from behind her head and handed it to him. To her surprise, Seifer used it as a pillow himself as he lay back on the sand. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked, squinting at him. He only shrugged and closed his eyes as a hand still held that new piece of jewlery at his throat. "What, you're just gonna lay down and die? It that it?"  
  
"No." came a quiet yet adamant reply, "I'll explain this later. Just . . whatever you do, don't try to wake me."  
  
Though she was extremely confused, Fujin nodded in agreement as Seifer drifted out of consciousness.  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
Squall's door was slightly ajar, Rinoa noticed, as she crept up to it and began to slowly push it open. She had expected him to be tossing and turning as he usually did in his sleep, but she found him lying still--so completely still that she almost thought he might not have been alive. She crept slowly to his bedside, crouching on the floor to look at him at eye level.   
  
Squall lay sprawled on his stomach, his pillow sideways beside him with his arm over it, his face turned to her. He looked like a child, with his hair mussed-up and little lips hanging open to allow his sleepy breaths their passage. Rinoa couldn't believe this was the same body that had hurt her so, less than twenty-four hours earlier. She couldn't believe that she'd ever thought Squall was to blame. He was to . . . *opposite * from anything that would have actually done those horrible things to her.  
  
Rinoa reached forward to brush some hair from Squall's forehead, just as an excuse to touch him. He jumped, startling Rinoa back to a standing position, opened his eyes, and rolled over without a word. *Great Hyne . . . she's here . . . why?*  
  
"Squall, I . . ." Rinoa found herself at a loss for words. What had she come here to say?  
  
"I'm not worth it, Rinoa." Squall replied, staring at the wall, "Don't bother yourself." He folded his arms up to his chest.  
  
"Don't say that." Rinoa was about to sit on the edge of the bed but decided against it and just stood there. She didn't know what would happen if she tried to get close to him. Squall was very fragile right now-- even she could see that. "You're worth so much to me."  
  
Squall was taken aback by this, wondering how she could care about him at all. She wouldn't even sit on the bed . . . how much could she care if she was afraid to be near him? He wouldn't turn around . . . wouldn't look at her. Then he'd have to face his problems, and he didn't feel like it right now. "I'm too tired for this, Rinoa." He closed his eyes to emphasize this point, though he knew she couldn't see it.  
  
"Please . . . understand that I don't blame you." Rinoa noticed Squall shifting closer to the wall. She took the warm spot he left on the bed, sitting stiffly. "I don't blame you for anything." Rinoa knew she was going against Irvine's advice: she was pushing him, and she couldn't help it.  
  
"But . . what I did . . what my body did . . ."  
  
"I don't care about that anymore." Rinoa reached over and touched Squall's back gingerly, like she was half-afraid he'd bite her. "Um . . . Irvine told me about what happened." She winced, wondering if she should have told him at all. "On the . . . on the balcony."  
  
Squall didn't reply. *He did ~what~? How could he . . .*   
  
"Do . . do you actually want to die, Squall?"  
  
"I don't know." Yes, a nicely ambiguous answer to a question he hated. *Yes, I want to die. What I did was evil. It hurt you. And then I continued to hurt you and push you away. What's life without you in it?* Luckily Rinoa left it alone--unfortunately, she decided to do something worse.  
  
She started to cry.  
  
*No, Rinoa, don't do that, please . . .* Squall's shoulders ached to release a desperate shudder. He wanted to turn over, to get up, hold her, comfort her, but . . he couldn't. Why not? What was so hard?  
  
He didn't want to break the ice--to enable her to see the sun. And why would that be so horrible? He'd never depended on anyone. He'd seen people rely on each other, though . . . and they were the happiest. A loud, choked sob found it's way to his ears. *I can't take this!!*  
  
With that thought, Squall gave in to his urges and rolled over, just in time for one of Rinoa's tears to splatter onto his face. She hurriedly wiped it off his cheek, muttering pointless apologies. And he just watched her. He'd never seen such pain written across one person's face . . . ever.   
  
"Why are you crying, Rinoa?"  
  
"You . . . I don't want to lose you. . ." Rinoa began to rub at her eyes furiously, practically begging them to stop watering.   
  
*Me? What is this? What's so special about ~me~?* "But . . I hurt you . ."  
  
"Only by . . . by trying to take your own life. . . . I don't care about anything else. The rest wasn't your fault. Squall . . when Irvine told me what you tried to do . . . I felt like it was my fault. Don't you care about me enough that you want me in your life? I feel so bad . . for not understanding how you feel. I was being to selfish . . ."  
  
"Rinoa, it's not that . . . I don't deserve you in my life . . . I don't deserve a life at all."   
  
"Stop talking like that! Please! I can't stand it!" Squall just looked at her. His infamous poker-face was becoming harder and harder to keep as she continued, "When are you going to see how much you're worth?!"   
  
Squall didn't know what to say to that. Didn't know what to do. So he just leaned on his elbow and found a nice, boring spot on the bedspread to stare at. He was upsetting her again. He couldn't stand it. Once again, he was proving that he didn't deserve to be around her. He was only beginning to understand the vicious cycle that he was caught up in--his sadness was what upset Rinoa, and that upset him more in turn. How would he stop it?  
  
Rinoa was staring at her hands as she sat on the edge of the bed, watching as her tears dripped onto them, occasionally sniffling and afraid to look at Squall. She didn't know what expression she'd find if she looked up and the possibility of something negative scared her enough to keep her relatively still, at least until she felt something warm and soft touch her face. At first, she froze.  
  
Squall was touching her. His hand was bare, as he always took his gloves off to sleep, and Rinoa needed to consciously keep herself from leaning into the new warmth on her cheek. This was so strange--he'd never initiated physical contact with her before unless it was absolutely necessary. When she finally looked up to see him watching her, the movement of her eyes causing another tear to fall and roll over the fingers that caressed her cheek, she found that the sheet of ice had begun to crack. "Please. . . . Rinoa, don't. Be quiet." The words seemed harsh, but she knew he meant no harm. Rinoa bit her lip, knowing he couldn't stand to see her cry. And hearing those words unfortunately made her cry harder. She couldn't help it. Squall's hand tensed up as he begged again, his voice sounding choked, "I . . . please, I can't . . . Just stop!"   
  
And she was suddenly enveloped in an embrace, Squall's bitter cinnamon-cocoa scent faint in the fluff of his jacket collar where her face was now buried. "Please . . . Rinoa stop it, stop it . . ." Squall almost chanted, his voice becoming desperate now as he stroked her back a little too hard, his other hand pressing a little forcefully into the back of her head. It was almost as though he was trying to muffle her quiet sobs. Rinoa leaned into him, almost holding her breath to keep from crying. She didn't want to cry, Hyne knew she didn't. She'd been doing it all damn day. It took a long time for her breaths to finally return to normal, for her shoulders to become still.   
  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry . . ." Squall's voice made it seem he was no sturdier than a soap bubble, easily destroyed by the wrong touch or carried away in the slightest breeze. He was shaky, weak, tired. Rinoa had hoped he'd already accepted her forgiveness. Oh well, she'd just have to drill it into his head some more.  
  
"You're forgiven, Squall. If you want me to be happy, accept it. Please."*I know that's why she's so sad . . . but I don't think I can bring myself to say it.* It would be tough, but now Squall found that he had to. He sighed. "Okay."  
  
Rinoa jumped back from him, just enough that she could see his tired face while her arms remained around him. She had expected another string of arguments to follow, ending with one of them, most likely her, leaving the room. His answer caused a giant smile to make it's way across her lips, and in her joy she kissed his cheek and hugged him. "Thank you." She knew that one word did not mean Squall was all better and happy now, but it was a giant step for him. She didn't feel perfect either, though she'd just become significantly better.  
  
Squall gasped at her response, more at the smile than at the kiss. *I made her happy. Just with one word?* It took a minute to hug her back, as an ethereal feeling spread through his nerves: relief. It was going to be okay now. Maybe. Hopefully.  
  
If only he actually did accept it. If only what he'd said to her was the truth. Oh well, it couldn't be helped now--a white lie was necessary once in a while, though it had to and did have very good reason.  
  
When Rinoa finally let go of him, her eyes were no longer completely sad. She smiled and her nose crinkled. Squall didn't smile back, of course, seeming to have completely lost the ability the day before, but his expression was . . . *lighter*, like a tremendous weight had been lifted from his eyes.  
  
"I think you should get back to sleep." Rinoa said suddenly, remembering what Irvine had told her. Squall was exhausted. He only nodded and fell back onto his pillow, suddenly realizing just how fatigued he was.   
  
"Are you leaving?" he asked quietly, his eyes now closed.  
  
Rinoa stood up. "Um . . yeah, I have to go talk to Selphie; I was kinda mean to her. Want me to come by later to check up?"  
  
Squall didn't answer; he was already asleep.  
  
  



	21. Captivity

Chapter 21  
C a p t i v i t y  
  
Selphie's door had been open when Irvine got there, but he opted to knock anyway. Catching a glance at his face as she headed to the doorway, Selphie threw her arms up around his neck. Irvine looked so sad and tired. She was going to ask if he was alright, but he spoke first as she let go of him. "Hey, I just came to check up. I heard Rinoa said some nasty stuff to you."  
  
Selphie shrugged, seeming even shorter since her boots now sat beside the door. "She said meaner stuff to Zell. That she thought he used her. I think it made him feel really bad."  
  
Irvine scratched the side of his face, temporarity having forgotten about the cut that had found a home there. "He didn't seem too bad when I saw him. Maybe he realized that she didn't mean anything she said."  
  
"She didn't?" Selphie flopped down onto her sunflower-print bedspread (nobody knew how she managed to get inspection to let her keep that--it was against regulations) and leaned against the wall.  
  
"Nah, she was really upset. Sure, it wasn't the most mature thing to do, taking her anger out on you guys, but she didn't mean any of the bad stuff she said." Selphie patted a spot beside her on the bed, feeling particularly flirty, and Irvine took it, leaning against the wall.   
  
"Okay." Selphie nodded, and looked up at him. "What about you?"  
  
"What *about* me?" Irvine asked, puzzled, "I'm one of the few people in this place that isn't going through a gigantic personal crisis right now."  
  
"Aren't you?" Selphie seemed particularly wise for a moment, looking at him through strange, inquisitive eyes.   
  
"No, I'm just here to help everybody else out. I guess the reason I came here to see you was so I could get away from that. And cuz you're so damn cute of course."  
  
This made Selphie let out a quiet giggle, and Irvine thought he noticed her inch closer to him. "Um . . . I think it looks like you're putting other people's problems on your shoulders, here. I mean, you talked to both Rinoa and Squall, right?"  
  
Irvine nodded. How did she know that? He didn't remember telling her. This girl's natural gossiping talents almost scared him. How'd she manage to learn so much in only an hour or so? "Yeah. I sent Squall to his room to sleep and then went to see what was up with Rinoa, and she was really upset. But I managed to calm her down, and now she's gone to see Squall, I guess."  
  
"If I were you, I'd take a rest from everything for a bit. I think that would be a good idea. You looked pretty darn tired when I found you this morning."  
  
"I was." At the reminder of his fatigue, Irvine yawned, and Selphie smiled. Irvine fell sideways and flopped over onto her lap, hiding his face to cover a grin as she shook him.   
  
"Hey, I didn't say rest *here*." she playfully whined, tugging lightly on his ponytail. He rolled over so he could look at her, his head still resting in her lap.  
  
"Why not?" he asked, grinning up at her.  
  
"Be*cause*." Irvine raised his eyebrows at her as she tried to think of a suitable answer. "Because girls aren't allowed to have guys in their rooms. It's the rules. I don't wanna get in trouble." Selphie crossed her arms and raised her chin high in pride.   
  
"Yeah, since it's obvious how much trouble Zell and Rinoa got in." Irvine replied sarcastically, "There's no disciplinary comittee here and everyone's got too much to worry about already." He stuck out his lip in a mock-pout. "I know the truth: you don't want me here."  
  
"Oh hush, you. You can stay. I was kidding, anyways."  
  
"Thanks." Irvine grabbed his hat from above his head on the bed and covered his eyes. Selphie sighed, knowing she'd be there for a while but not minding one bit.   
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
Coming out of the dorms, Rinoa noticed Quistis chatting quietly with a brown-haired girl she didn't recognize as they sat on a bench outside the library, and as she watched, found that she had made eye contact with her. The girl walked over quite shyly, taking little timid steps almost as though she were afraid of her. When they met up, she asked, "So, um, you're Rinoa, right?"  
  
" . . . Yes." Rinoa tried to smile, wondering what she was being so timid about. And then she realized, "Are you Ellone?"  
  
The girl nodded. "Yes. I . . . I want to say I'm sorry about what happened, since I sort of feel like it was my fault --"  
  
"How could it be your fault?" Rinoa smiled a little, "I can't think of anything you did wrong."  
  
"My powers were used to hurt you and Squall, even if I didn't control them . . . I wish I could have run away, or just fought those people. . . or something. . ."  
  
"Don't worry about anything. Nobody blames you."  
  
"You don't? And Squall doesn't?" Rinoa shook her head. Ellone sighed, "I'm so glad . . . I was a little afraid that the two of you would . . . more you, really, since you don't really know me." She smiled with relief, her nose crinkling up. "Um . . . do you think Squall might be up for a visitor? I haven't seen him in years."  
  
"Well . . . he might be, but I wouldn't stay long. He's really sleepy."  
  
"Okay. I'll see how he is." Ellone smiled and left. Rinoa looked up to see Quistis waving her over.   
  
"You don't look too good." was what Quistis greeted her with, standing up.   
  
"Considering I've been crying all darn day . . ."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear tha . . ." Quistis trailed off a little, raising a hand to her temple and sitting back down like she was dizzy.   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
She closed her eyes, her eyebrows pushing together. "Uh. . . sudden headache. Really . . . weird. It's like . . . burning."   
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
Seifer could feel his mind becoming surrounded by Quistis', then could feel her fingers and toes surrounding his own. He could also tell that Quistis could feel his presence, snaking it's way through her nerves, like cold, controlling fire. Soon her body began to feel like it was his own, and then he looked down. Damn, he had boobs, and it was pretty freakin' wierd.  
  
~Hi Quistis. Long time no see.~  
  
"S-Seifer?"  
  
"What, Quistis?"  
  
~Don't say anything. Look, Fujin needs your help.~  
  
"Why aren't you--"  
  
~I can hear your thoughts. Don't let Rinoa know I'm here.~  
  
*Seifer, if you can, why aren't you controlling my body?* She could feel the potential there, that Seifer could choose her movements whenever he willed so.  
  
~I have no reason to. I just want to talk, and I want you to be willing to listen to me.~   
  
"Quistis, what's going on? Are you o--"  
  
"I'm fine, Rinoa. Just . . ." she looked up, hoping to look as normal as possible. "Just let me be for a little while." If she let Rinoa know Seifer was there, she didn't know what she'd do. And if she went against Seifer's request, he would probably get mad and either leave or do something drastic, both meaning that there would be less time to talk to him--less time to find out where he was so they could throw him in solitary confinement for twenty or so years.   
  
Seifer saw, through Quistis' eyes, the pain on Rinoa's face just before she walked away. Her cheeks and eyes were red like she'd just been crying, her natural bouncy nature dissolved to a strange vacant bitterness he'd never seen before. She whispered "Okay." and turned to head down the hallway, looking lost.   
  
~I did that, too?~ Seifer thought to himself, temporarily forgetting that Quistis could hear him. This mind-control thing was tough to get used to.  
  
Yes, Quistis heard that. It sounded like he was sorry, which really surprised her. Was he actually regretful or just putting on an act to get what he wanted? She didn't know how deep this connection could go, but . . . these emotions that didn't belong to her flooding into her mind seemed too real to be any sort of act. If the feelings communcated to her were true, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Seifer was sorry . . . it would be all too difficult to offer him any sort of fitting punishment.   
  
Sefier allowed her to lean back on the wall. He could feel how calm she was tying to act, especially when referring to him, but it was obvious to him that she was very much afraid, not to mention angry. He did his best to quell the anticipation for the possibility of overpowering her within his gut and posed his first important statement. ~Fujin's in touble.~  
  
This caught Quistis by surprise--in the midst of all the things happening to Garden, she'd pushed the disappearance of Raijin and Fujin to the back of her mind. She did her best to keep her thoughts from stuttering. *Tell me where you are and we'll come help her. Is she alright?*  
  
~I think it'd be better to tell you this way:~   
  
Suddenly what seemed hundreds of pictures flashed through Quistis mind, and she saw each one individually in just a few seconds: Seifer hititng Fujin with the T-Bike, carrying her to the beach after the bike ran out of gas, and when he saw the Garden in the distance. Each picture carried with it another strong emotion, nearly making her feel them as well. He was full of shame, not as much for his faults as for having to ask someone, especially someone from Garden, for help. She could see why he hadn't chosen Squall's mind to enter again--Seifer would die before letting Squall know he needed help with anything. The strongest of all, even stronger than his ever-present pride, was remorse. For hurting Rinoa, and for hurting Fujin . . . and that was what really scared her. Seifer had changed. Or had he? He could have been like this for his entire life--he continuously did horribly mean things, but had he always hidden the remorse with more cruelty? And if he had, a punishment would still be necessary to try to keep him from doing such horrible things ever again.   
  
~Do you understand now?~ Seifer asked, interrupting Quistis' wandering thoughts.   
  
*Yes, but what do you expect me to do with this information?*  
  
It was then that Seifer sent her the most important mental image of all: a view off the shore of Grandidi forest, with Balamb Garden far off in the distance. She now knew where he was. ~Quistis, we're both here. The Garden came and left, though I don't know why. I . . . I think Fujin's dying.~ If the voice that people think in could have cracked, Seifer's did. And Quistis felt something she rarely did and never thought she would for Seifer: sympathy.   
  
Suddenly a voice boomed loudly over the speakers, "*Quistis, please come to the Bridge as soon as possible.*" It was Xu, and she sounded anxious. Quistis stood up and made her way there, still feeling Seifer's presence but no longer dizzy or in pain from it. She did her best to look normal as she listened to Seifer speak agian.  
  
~Is there any way you could steer the Garden over here?~  
  
*I can get there, Seifer. If Fujin needs help, there is no choice. If it were you, on the other hand, I'd have to think much harder about it.* Quistis headed into the elevator, and up to the Bridge to meet Nida and Xu. "What's going on?" she asked.  
  
"Look." Nida gestured to the window. On the horizon, just barely visible, was the shore of Grandidi forest. "I called you because Selphie visited me a little while ago to let me know not to call on Squall. She said something about him being busy." Quistis nodded, still looking out the window. She could feel Seifer's happiness in her mind, now that the Garden could see where they were.   
  
Xu was the one who continued. "No one thought we'd arrive this quickly, but now that we have, what do you think we should do?"  
  
"Keep the Garden here. Some issues have arisen concerning Squall. He'll want to come onto the island, but he needs to rest--sleeping problems and such. Wait until tomorrow as planned. I'll leave now to investigate.   
  
"And what if there's resistance?" Nida asked, "You can't fight off a whole army by yourself."  
  
"If there's an army, I'll be able to see them before I get there. I'm not going into the forest, just to the shore, to make sure it's safe to unload our SeeDs. I'll be alright."  
  
Nida sighed and nodded. As Quistis made her way back down to the Infirmary to pick up a med kit, she heard Seifer say in her mind, ~Thanks.~ With that he left her to herself to wait for her arrival. *He ~thanked~ me?*  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
Ellone found Squall's room after having to ask one of the students where ut was, and knocked timidly on it when she got there. After several minutes without an answer, she turned the knob, surprised to find it unlocked. She gasped at the sight of him, curled up into a fetal position, facing the door. He was asleep, of course, his soft breaths barely audible. He was as pale, and as peaceful, and as motionless as the last time she'd seen him sleep, twelve years ago. He almost looked the same, too, and would have had it not been for all that leather. Carefully, she crept to his side and sat down on the bed, lightly touching his hair as she felt tears begin to sting at the corners of her eyes. It was as soft and brown and beautiful as before, too. In so many ways, he hadn't changed.  
  
But then, in so many ways he had. In brushing his hair from his face, she found a long scar over his forehead and the bridge of his nose that hadn't yet completely healed. How could he have gotten that? She decided she would have to ask him later as she ran a finger lightly along it. He seemed so mature now, so much older, so much of his previous innocence dissolved to what looked like biterness.  
  
She pulled her hand back with a start when his eyes opened, looking up at her questioningly. She smiled, and he found his answer.  
  
"Sis?"  
  
She nodded and returned her hand to his hair. "Hi," she whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to see you . . . It's been so many years--" She cut off she saw him smile, very slightly--something she hadn't expected, considering all he'd been through.   
  
"I missed you." he said quietly, his face quickly returning to it's previous emotionless state. He sat up, bringing his legs to the edge of he bed. "What happened? You just left the orphanage. I didn't know where you went."  
  
"I'm sorry, Squall, I couldn't--"  
  
"*The Garden has almost reached the shore of Grandidi forest. Squall Leonhart, if you're awake, please come to the bridge.*" said Nida's voice over the P.A. Squall stood, mumbling an apology for having to leave so quickly.  
  
"Do you want to talk later?" Ellone asked hopefully.  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, after all this is over."   
  
Ellone smiled, then frowned as she noticed that his steps towards the door seemed much less than stable. "Are you going to be alright?"  
  
"I'm fine." he replied as he headed out in the hall, leaving Ellone alone in his room by herself. She doubted that what he said was true--even she could see the pain in his eyes.   
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
Soon Quistis was on the water, her hair whipping furiously behind her, surf and spray and salty mist blurring the world behind her as she turned the Garden-regulation motorboat into a higher gear. Half-an-hour later, she could see the shore quite well: she could see the tiny images of Seifer sitting up, turning to Fujin, who seemed to be laying on her back motionlessly. Seifer waved to her once, as though directing her, and the boat soon skidded into the sand, its motor becoming silent as she turned it off, grabbed the med bag, and jumped out. She avoided eye-contact with Seifer, sure she'd jump on him and rip out his hair if she looked at him, and turned all of her attention to Fujin, who looked to be sleeping until she spoke. "Okay, Fujin, I'm here to help you. Just lay still and let me do what I need to." Fujin looked at her and attempted to nod. Then Quistis added to Seifer, who was leaning mighty close over the two, "And Seifer, stay out of the way."  
  
Seifer took a few steps back and stood there silently, awkwardly looking on as Quistis crouched beside Fujin and undid her jacket. Quistis found, when lifting up her shirt, that her injuries were much worse than she imagined. "Turn around, Seifer." she mumbled, waiting until she heard his shuffling steps in the sand before pulling the white tank off over Fujin's head. It was obvious that several of her ribs had been broken in the collision, meaning that the use of a Curaga or Potion before the bones had been properly set could prove quite dangerous. The bruises were dark and covered much of her torso, and as Quistis touched them to find out how serious they were, Fujin let out a loud groan, her face contorting with pain. Yes, quite serious, for she knew how stubborn Fujin could be when trying to hide pain or discomfort. It seemed her med kit wouldn't come to much use right now.  
  
"Okay, Fujin, we need to get you back to the Garden." Quistis covered her chest by laying her blue jacket back over her and went to the boat to grab a gourney. She looked around frantically only to realize seconds later that she had forgotten one. She didn't want to risk injuring Fujin further, and attempting to move her without the proper equipment could do just that. Luckily, one thing she had remembered was a two-way radio and, unclipping it from her belt while looking out at her home on the horizon, buzzed the bridge. "Nida, Xu, steer the Garden over here." She replied to the scratchy answer, "There's no resistance, but . . . " She had to think hard about the information she was about to give, "We have an injured student in need of medical attention, and--"   
  
"A student? How did a student get there?" Xu asked, quite confused.   
  
"I'll explain it all later. Oh, and you may want to be ready," Here Quistis lowered her voice to a near whisper, "She's accompanied by another student, previously Awol. He must be taken into Garden's captivity. I don't know if there will be resistance. There hasn't as of yet."  
  
"Awol? Quistis, I can only think of one, and if--"  
  
"Yes, yes, it's Seifer. Only say something to those you must. Tell the SeeDs to be ready with weapons in case they need them. He still has his--" and she cut off, feeling sharp pain at the small of her back.   
  
"Gunblade." Seifer finished for her. "Drop your toy." Stiffening, Quistis dropped the radio by her side.  
  
"Quistis, are you th--" Nida asked, cut off by the crush of Seifer's steel-toed boot. He then kicked it into the water and it was gone.   
  
"Seifer, what are you doing?" Quistis asked quietly, raising her hands as Hyperion's sharp point pressed harder into her spine.  
  
"I'm not going back into your damn captivity. I want to be back at Garden as a student, even a SeeD maybe, but not a criminal." he snarled.  
  
"Seifer, you must understand what you've done. Rinoa and Squall have been greatly affected by what you've done to them. Punishment is mandatory in order for you ever to be accepted as a student, let alone a potential SeeD."  
  
"I doubt they'll even accept me. Squall's in control there, is he not?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then don't try to make me believe that *you* give the orders. He'll never accept me back, even as a captive. He'll have me killed on the *spot*. Therefore you, my dear ex-instructor, are going to be my collateral." He pulled Quistis' whip from it's clip on her belt and tried use it to tie her hands, but couldn't do it using only one hand. The other, of course, was occupied by his gunblade. "Fujin, come help me. I know you're not hurt *that* badly."  
  
"NO." came Fujin's reply, with more strength forced into it than she thought she had.   
  
"*What?*"  
  
"I will not help you dig your hole even deeper. Do as Quistis says."  
Quistis couldn't help but smile, and was glad that Seifer couldn't see her face. *Go Fujin.* She thought. Fujin's punishment for leaving the Garden without permission would surely have to be shortened for this. It took a lot of guts to stand up for what was right, considering how she was so obviously close to him.  
  
"Get over here *now!*"  
  
"NO."  
  
In his frustration at knowing that he would get nowhere when Fujin's stubbornness was at it's strongest, Seifer got ready to shove Quistis to the ground and try to do it that way.   
  
"*Hey!*" Came a yell from the edge of the bush, "Seifer! I never thought I'd find ya, ya know?"  
  
*Dammit*. Quistis thought. Seifer had always had Raijin wrapped around his little finger, taking advantage of every weakness he had. Raijin followed Seifer as though he were a god.   
  
Raijin first ran to Fujin's side, noticing her laying on the ground and not looking at all well, "Fujin! What happened to you? You look like death, ya know?"  
  
"LONG STORY." Fujin replied.  
  
"Raijin, gimme a hand!" Seifer called sternly. Instantly Raijin was by his side, "What's going on?" he asked, scratching his head.  
"Fujin can explain it to you later. I need you to tie this around the lady's writs. Here." And he handed him the whip.   
  
"Hello, Raijin." Quistis said politely. "I wouldn't help him if I were you. You're in enough trouble as it is."  
  
"Instructor Trepe! Seifer, I don't think--"  
  
"Shut up. Both of you." Seifer jabbed the gunblade a little harder into the small of Quistis' back and shoved the whip to Raijin's chest. Raijin took it and did as Seifer asked him, not muttering a single word as he tied and looped and knotted Quistis' wrists together so tightly that her hands already began to get numb.   
  
Seifer looked up to see the Garden nearing them, his eyes narrowing. They'd have to get out of there soon. "Raijin, watch her." he said, handing him the gunblade's handle, its tip never leaving Quistis' back. "If she moves, you have my permission, no, my *order* to run it right through her."   
  
Raijin nodded. "Yes sir." he said with a tiny hint of fear in his voice. He stood tall and strong, though, and though Quistis was sure he was just slow enough for her to get away, she didn't want to risk it. Seifer always kept the weapon sharp enough to split hair.  
  
Seifer crouched beside Fujin, worry filling his lungs again as he looked at the pained expression on her face. "The Garden's coming. They'll take care of you." he said quietly.  
  
"What are you doing?" She asked, trying to search his face for an answer to why he so often made such insane choices. More so, she wondered why she chose to follow him.  
  
"Don't worry about that. I know what I'm doing. Tell Garden that they don't get Quistis back until I'm guaranteed to be a student again without being killed or reprimanded. Can you remember all that?" Fujin nodded. "Stay alive."  
  
"I never planned on dying." Fujin replied with a smirk. Seifer nodded and stood, heading back to Quistis and taking Hyperion from Raijin's hand.   
  
"Raijin, stay here with Fujin. As you can see, the Garden'll be here shortly. You, sweetheart," here he grabbed the whip that bound Quistis, "are coming with me." He pulled her around infront of him, nearly tripping her, and lightly dug the blade into her as an incentive to Get Moving. The pair disappeared into the forest, leaving Fujin and Raijin to wonder what the hell Seifer thought he was doing.   



	22. Vinosec

Chapter 22  
V i n o s e c  
  
  
  
"Yes, yes, it's Seifer." Came Quistis' fuzzy reply.   
  
Squall balled his fists. *You'd better be careful, Quistis . . .*   
  
"Only say something to those you must. Tell the SeeDs to be ready with weapons in case they need them. He still has his--"  
  
"Gunblade. Drop your toy." Seifer's voice. A second later, a loud thump echoed from the bridge's speakers.   
  
"Quistis, are you there? Qui--" Nida was cut off by more crackling, then complete silence.  
  
Squall grabbed the mic from Nida's hand, "Quistis?" No answer. "Answer me, damn it!"  
  
"There's no use. The line's been cut off." Nida replied, looking somewhat paler than he had a few minutes earlier.   
  
Squall threw the mic to the floor in frustration, surprising both Nida and Xu, and squinted to the barely-visible shoreline. "Go there. Now. We're leaving now. Make an announcement to tell the SeeDs to get ready to disembark. To get the boats ready." He turned to leave.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Xu asked, hoping the concern showed through he voice.   
  
"I'm going to find Rinoa to let her know I'm leaving. Then I'm going to find the others on my team. We'll be the first to disembark." With that he left, moving much faster than usual after stepping off the elevator platform.   
  
"I thought Rinoa would be going with them." Xu said absently as Nida began to steer the Garden towards the shoreline.  
  
"He probably wants to protect her." Nida replied, picking up the mic from the floor.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
"What're YOU guys doING?" came a familiar yet distorted voice from the doorway to Selphie's dorm. Irvine sat up with a start, his hat falling to his lap as he squinted up with startled, sleepy eyes.  
  
It was Selphie who recognized him first. "Zell, what are you--"  
  
"OOPS, uhhh . . . . sorry I 'nterrupt'd I'll be GOing now . . . ." Zell shifted his weight from the doorframe, stumbling on his first step. Irvine jumped to his feet, taking Zell by his shoulders. Something about him *really* wasn't right.   
  
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, sounding more angry than concerned.  
  
Zell shook his head a few times to reply with, "Dunno." His eyelids drooped quite tiredly, and he had a strange vacant look about him. He fell into Irvine's grasp like Jell-o.  
  
"Look at me, Zell. Now." Irvine shook him, but got nothing. Zell's head only bobbed slightly from side to side and his leg began to bounce a little, as though he were completely unable to be still.   
  
"What's wrong with him?" Came Selphie's worried voice from behind Irvine's shoulder.  
  
Irvine lowered his voice to reply while slowly leading Zell to Selphie's bed, where he obediently sat down while Selphie looked on, silent with worry. "I don't know. I think he took something . . . maybe Rinoa hurt his feelings more than we thought."  
  
"Yes she DID . . . she DID hurt m' feelin's I didn't use HER I really LIKE her . . ."  
  
"Zell, what did you take? You need to tell us." Irvine demanded sternly.  
  
"I'll . . . I donwanna. I'll get in TROUble." His knee began to bounce again, first one and then both, his head still moving as he looked around the room as if he'd never seen anything like it.  
  
"No you won't. We'll make sure nothing happens to you. I promise."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise."  
  
"Ok um . . . ." he looked at the floor, "Ok um theysaid I hadta have the MED kit in my backpack thingie so I had it and I was sad so I drank a potion." here he scratched the side of his nose and just stared vacantly at nothing in particular.  
  
"You had to drink more than that to get like this, Zell, and you know it."  
  
"OK fine," he began to try to count on his fingers as he stared at the ceiling in thought, "four megaones and six potion thingies, and now I feel MUCH better."  
  
Irvine sighed. From the few med classes he'd taken, he knew that this wasn't enough to overdose, but it wasn't good and it was *definitely* against the rules. If anyone found out about this Zell could even be expelled.   
  
"Why did you take them, Zell?"  
  
"I was sad, so I had . . . . one, and that was cool, and then I had more cuz I liked 'em. But I didn't . . . I didn't know THIS would happen . . . I'm feelin' REALly funny."  
  
Suddenly there was a click from the speakers in the hallway. ~"All SeeDs going on the mission to Grandidi forest, head to your previously designated stations. There will be an early departure today because of an emergency--one of our SeeDs has come across some complications on the shore and is in need of assistance."~  
  
"Shit. Why now?" Irvine hissed through gritted teeth, "Damn it, anytime but *now*. We weren't supposed to go 'til tomorrow!"  
  
"It's okAY, I can still go." Zell said confidently, "It's all GOOD."  
  
"No, you can't, Zell. You're screwed up." Irvine replied. "Shit shit shit *shit* . . ."  
  
"We have to bring him." Selphie said timidly, "There's nothing else we can do."  
  
"Yeah, But I'll be too busy with Exeter to freakin' *babysit* him . . . "  
  
"You don' need ta BABY sit me! I can take car 'o m'self." The pair ignored him.   
  
"There were *complications* Selphie, and you know as well as I do there's gonna be a rumble."  
  
"A *fight?* Ooooooo yeah, let's go kick some ASS!" Zell rubbed his hands together in anticipation.   
  
"What other choice do we have?" Selphie asked, placing her hands on her hips.   
  
Irvine sighed. "Alright, alright. You're right." He turned to Zell, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I need you to listen to me." Zell looked up and nodded quite energetically. "I need you to stay quiet as we're heading to the boats, and as we're getting on them, too. Don't say a *word.* Just follow me."   
  
Zell nodded again. "Will DO, cap'n!"  
  
Irvine's hand found his forehead. "I can't *believe* this . . ." he mumbled as he and Selphie grabbed their backpacks and headed out the door, Zell close in tow.   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
It was mostly by chance that Squall found Rinoa walking down the dorm hallway unsteadily but seemingly with purpose. She stood out in the crowd of SeeDs that rushed in either direction down the halls. When he called out to her, she turned around quickly. "Squall, there you are! I was just about to go to the entrance . . . that's where the boats are, right?"  
  
"Rinoa, you're staying here."  
  
"What?" She took a step back from him, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"Look, Quistis went to investigate over there and she found Seifer. He took her, Rinoa . . . I need to find them."  
  
Rinoa was silent for a few seconds, thinking over what she'd just learned. "But the announcement . . . it said for everyone that was going to go to get to the boats."  
  
"I want you to stay."  
  
"You don't want me around Seifer."  
  
Squall looked away at the accusation. "I . . . Rinoa, I just want to protect you."  
  
"You don't need to protect me. I can fight as well as anyone, Squall, especially if I'm beside you, and you know it."  
  
"And if I lose to Seifer . . . when we fight . . . what will happen to you? What will he try to do?" *What if he gets into my head again? And . . . ~succeeds~ this time?*  
  
Rinoa leaned a little closer to him, recognising the worry in his eyes as a tiny smile appeared on her lips. She placed a finger under his chin to reply, "You won't lose."  
  
Squall turned his back to her, his steps light and unsteady. He crossed his arms tightly in front of him, instantly regretting admitting his insecurity to her.   
  
Rinoa stepped up to his back carefully, delicately sliding her arms around his waist and leaning her head on his back. "I know I'm safer with you than with anyone else. You can beat him. It'll all be fine. Look," she giggled a little, "I'm coming whether you like it or not. You can't stop me. I'm stubborn."  
  
Squall sighed and shook his head. She was right about that. And if he left her at Garden, it could be attacked. Seifer had to be working for somebody, and who knew how many armies they had? Nobody would be there to protect her. Nobody cared enough to die trying. "Okay." he said quietly, "We have to go. Now. I want to be in the first boat there." he slid from her grasp and took her hand to lead her, not looking back to see her pleased expression.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
"What the hell is this?" Irvine stopped dead in his tracks upon reaching the main entrance. A crowd of hurried SeeDs moved directionlessly in front of the trio, blocking them from moving any further. Taking Selphie's hand, who in turn took Zell's (for he was looking particularly dazed), he headed to the closest official-looking SeeD he could find. "What's going on here?" he asked, just before being shoved in the back by someone.  
  
"Someone messed up and let the boats go before they were supposed to. They're all floating around somewhere beneath the second floor balcony. Until we get them back, nobody's leaving this place." replied the exasperated teenage girl. "Are you supposed to go on this mission?"  
  
Irvine had turned around before he got the chance to answer her. "Where are we going?" Selphie asked.  
  
"We're gonna go to the second floor balcony." he replied as they made their way into the main circular hallway, "I remember using a rope for a pillow last time I took a nap up there."  
  
"Oh no, you're not planning on--"  
  
"Hey, Squall!" Irvine called. Sure enough, there he was, leading Rinoa close behind him. "Where're you off to?"  
  
"We're going to the front, where the boats are," Squall replied, "We'd better hurry, if--"  
  
Irvine shook his head, exasperated. "No chance. Someone let 'em go. Must've messed up and untied the rope, I guess. They're floatin' under the second floor balcony as we speak."  
  
Squall's eyes widened in disbelief, then narrowed in anger. "Shit." he muttered. "Quistis is over there."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Seifer took her. He was there when she was last on the radio, and then it cut out. We have to get there, *now.*"  
  
Both Rinoa and Selphie raised a hand to cover their mouths. Zell looked like he hadn't heard. Though Irvine was particularly surprised by this bit of information, he managed to keep it from phasing him. "There's a rope up there. We can climb down into the water."  
  
Squall nodded and the group began to head for the elevator. "What's wrong with Zell?" Rinoa asked, staring at him strangely as he stared at everything around him strangely.   
  
"Uh . . ." Irvine looked at Selphie, who only shrugged. "He drank a bunch of potions a little while ago . . . I guess he was lookin' for comfort. Says he went a little further than he'd planned."  
  
Squall's hand found his forehead. He couldn't believe this. *What does ~he~ need comfort for?* "We can't bring him with us." he said, "If he's intoxicated, he can't handle--"  
  
"I can HANDLE it, guys!" Zell interrupted, "'S not that bad anywho. I can walk now, and I'll just follow YOU, reeeeal quiet."  
  
"Fine . . . " Squall quickened his pace, then turned his attention to the elevator buttons as the others piled in. "We don't have time to . . . no time to argue about anything." he mumbled, "Let's just get there." The others nodded.  
  
There was a collective muttering of "Shit" and "Damn it" upon reaching the balcony. There the boats were, a few hundred feet below them, and there the rope was, looking much to short to reach them.   
  
"We're going to have to jump." Squall said.  
  
"Excuse me?" Selphie asked, "We can't!"  
  
"We'll tie the rope up here and climb as far as we can down it, and then jump. That's a hundred feet taken off. We were trained to dive from a significant height. It'll be fine."  
  
"What about Zell?" Irvine asked, "Can he do it?"  
  
"I can DO it, already." Zell replied, sighing with exasperation. "Nobody EVER thinks I can do ANYTHING. Geez. I know how to climb down a rope."  
  
"We don't have time for this. Zell, I've thought about it . . . you're staying here. I can't have your life resting on our shoulders because you're too messed up to take care of yourself."  
  
Zell hung his head. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Good. Which means you'll never do this again."  
  
"All I ever WANTED was for you to think I could DO it."  
  
"Do what, Zell?"  
  
"ANYTHING! Nobody . . . nobody ever thinks I cando anything."  
  
"Well, you can prove yourself next mission." Squall said heartlessly, turning to knot the rope to the rail as Zell slumped into a corner, his head in his hands.  
  
"I thought you were my friend." he muttered, quiet enough for Squall to pretend he hadn't heard.  
  
*Right. I thought you were my friend, and then you just ~invited~ Rinoa into your room to--*   
  
Irvine leaned over to whisper to Squall, "Uh . . . are you sure you're not being a little too hard? Maybe letting personal stuff get in the way of--"  
  
"He's lucky I'm not having him demoted back to a student for this." Squall interrupted quietly, not looking up.   
  
Soon the rope was triple-knotted and Squall was on his way down, thankful for the protection his leather gloves provided against the rope as it slid quickly through his palms. Irvine was next, far above him. "Hurry up, Irvine! We don't have time!" he called.   
  
"MY gloves don't have fingers--Gimme a break here!" was the reply, "and YOU aren't carrying anybody!"  
  
Squall looked up to see Selphie clinging to him, her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist. "I don't have any gloves at all!" she explained to Squall, who quickly looked back down as he realized his view went right up her skirt. A hot blush appeared on his cheeks.  
  
"What about Rinoa? She doesn't have any either!" he said, keeping his gaze averted as he tilted his head upwards so he could be heard.   
  
"I can't carry two people for chrissakes!" Irvine replied.  
  
"It's okay Squall!" Rinoa called down to him, "Zell gave me his!"  
  
*Zell gave her his. Isn't that wonderful.* Squall recognized the resentment he had for Zell, a feeling very strange to him after being so used to not caring. Sure, Zell often annoyed him, but he'd had a good heart. Now, though, after what he tried with Rinoa yesterday and the stunt he pulled with the potions today, it seemed to him that all Zell wanted to do was mess things up as much as possible. It was a new side he'd never seen before. Squall shook his head and sighed, pushing the thought away in order to concentrate. *This is what I get for caring about people. Distractions from what's really important.* "Be careful, Rinoa!" he said, then continued on his way downwards. *I should be carrying her. I should have thought like Irvine did. Damn it. If she falls . . .*  
  
He nearly let out a yell as a blur of blue and black whizzed down past him, but then he heard Rinoa's scream of "No, Zell!" from above. It took a second to compute in his mind that Zell had jumped.   
  
"Shit! Zell!" came Irvine's panicked voice. Squall searched the water below as Selphie hollered Zell's name. He went even faster down the rope, then stopped as a blond head appeared above the waves.  
  
"See? I can do it!" Zell called to them, his yell barely audible, as the team's cries of panic changed to joyful cheers.   
  
Squall remained silent, beginning to move again as Zell climbed into a boat. *How the hell . . .* "Zell, wait there!" Squall yelled as he reached the rope's end.   
  
"I've got to go help Quistis! I'll meet you there!" Zell informed him, seeming as though he hadn't heard the instructions. The boat's engine revved and sped off toward the shore. With nothing else to do, Squall inhaled deeply and let go of the rope, twisting his body in midair to dive into the frigid ocean waters. He quickly swam back to the surface, his body slightly tingling due to the force of the impact. Immediately he headed for the nearest boat, taking off his backpack and throwing it on board, thankful the dreadful weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He clambered inside to wait for the others who still dangled above him. First to follow was Selphie, whose head popped up above water seconds later, choking and spluttering with a look of severe distaste on her face. Irvine's dive made more of a splash than necessary, but nonetheless he came up fine as well, grabbing his hat from beside him before swimming over. Rinoa's dive was more graceful than any had expected, and she landed in the water witha quiet "ploop" to surface right at the edge of the boat.   
  
"I have a rich daddy, remember? Baby Rinoa wanted swimming lessons, and she got them." Rinoa explained, smiling slightly as she hopped into the boat, "I ended up with a bronze cross."  
  
The boat's engine came alive, Squall in no mood to waste time. "Zell . . ." he mumbled as the small vessel headed for shore, "If you mess things up . . ."  
  



	23. A Perdu Et A Trouvé

Chapter 23  
  
A P e r d u E t A T r o u v é  
  
Quistis' back was just beginning to become numb with the slight pain of the blade that pressed into it. Seifer walked behind her silently, and she remained equally silent, the only sound around them the giddy chirping of birds and the rustling of dead leaves beneath their every step. She didn't dare turn around or even speak, unable to predict what Seifer would do, knowing that her fear would show in her unsteady voice if she said a word. The last thing she wanted was for Seifer to know she feared him--that would give him power over her, more so than he already had. The man was incredibly unpredictable, one moment having shown remorse, the next feeling some strange necessity to dig himself deeper into the ground.  
  
To Quistis' surprise, it was Seifer who spoke, relieving her of the responsibility. "Scared?"  
  
"What?" she replied, unsure of how she should answer the question.  
  
"Are you afraid? Don't know how I'll react to anything you do, or even whether or not I'm gonna kill you?"  
  
"And how would you know that, Seifer, were it true?" she asked stiffly, careful of her every word.  
  
"It's true. I can tell without even looking at your face--it's in the way you're walking. Same thing's happened to me. Don't worry though, I'm not going to fool you into anything."  
  
"What do you mean?" Seifer seemed to be speaking nonsense. Who knew what was going through his head right now?  
  
"I mean . . . never mind. I don't even know why I'm talking to you."  
  
"You *can* trust me, you know. Maybe we can work all this out?"  
  
Seifer guffawed. "Don't try to tell *me* who to trust, Quistis."  
  
*Oops.* Quistis thought, noticing the heightened anger in his voice. She tried to cover it up by changing the subject somewhat. "Seifer . . . what do you plan to do?"   
  
"I'll just keep you while I need you, then drop you like *that*." he snapped his fingers, "The only difference is, I won't fool you. No wool over your eyes. You get to *know* that I don't give a shit about you. It doesn't matter--by the time you get to tell anyone, if you get to tell anyone, this will all be over."  
  
*"I won't fool you."* Quistis rolled those words over in her mind. "Seifer, who fooled you?"  
  
"Nobody." he said quickly, trying to dismiss what he'd already gotten himself into. "Never mind."  
  
"Okay." Seifer's sharp tone kept her from saying any more. She didn't want to drive him too far.  
  
It seemed someone had done the things he was speaking of to him--something in the tone of his voice gave it away. He was hurt and had nobody to talk to about his grief, reluctant to appear weak. Quistis made a mental note to find out what it was--not only was there the possibility of finding some useful information, but also that she might be able to help him. If this anger that was driving him was somehow taken care of, at least for the time being, he would be much easier to negotiate with. She could tell he wanted to talk . . . he just didn't want to look like he wanted to talk.   
  
She just hoped that the Garden had understood that she was in trouble. She didn't know how much of her message had gotten through, but hopefully the others were coming to help her. She wasn't sure she could manage this on her own.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Zell's boat was at the shore when the group got there . . . but he was not. Squall was first to jump from the boat and hurry to Fujin and Raijin. "Where'd he go?"  
  
"Who?" Raijin asked, confused as to whether Squall meant Zell or Seifer.   
  
Fujin interrupted before Squall could re-ask the question. "SEIFER: NORTH. ZELL: NORTHEAST." Squall nodded once.   
  
"There are more boats coming. They should be here in half an hour." said Rinoa from Squall's side. "Should we stay?"  
  
"No. We have to find Zell and we can't split up. Fujin, are you going to be alive when those boats get here?"  
  
"YES."  
  
"Wait!" Raijin said as Squall began to turn away, "I hafta give ya a message, ya know?"   
  
Squall gave him his full attention. "Yes?"  
  
"Seifer's holding Quistis captive. Says he won't give her back until you promise you'll let him into Garden scot-free."  
  
"Shit." Squall muttered, "Where is he?"  
  
"All we know 's he went in the woods. He wouldn't tell us anything else, ya know?"  
  
"That idiot. How're we supposed to find him?"  
  
Raijin shrugged. "Dunno."  
  
Squall sighed with exasperation and turned to his teammates to wave them over before making his way to the edge of the forest. The trees weren't spaced too close together, but he was sure that deeper within they would be. A tough hike, but nothing they couldn't handle. "Zell!" he called, his voice loud but near-emotionless. There was no answer, and he continued inside after him, the team following close behind. Selphie began to call Zell's name as they walked, and Squall was thankful that he wouldn't have to do it again himself. Selphie had quite a loud voice for someone so small.  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Zell wiped a hand over his forehead, pushing back his soaking-wet bangs that refused to defy gravity any longer. They kept falling into his eyes, annoying the heck out of him. In his current state of looking like a drowned, stoned rat, he was getting mighty frustrated at the whole situation. He hoped he'd find Quistis soon.  
  
Yes, he was after Quistis. Zell had a job to do--whether it was so he could finally prove to his friends that he could do something right or just the fact that she needed help, he didn't know.   
  
*I'll show them,* he thought, *they'll see that I can ~do~ this.* He began to mutter to himself without realizing he was doing so. "Anothin's gonna get in my way." A loud roar sounded behind him, and he spun quickly around, nearly tripping over a stone. "Except . . . a Hexadragon . . . maybe . . ." he said quietly, then jumped back as the thing swiped a razor-sharp claw at him. He looked down to see that it had torn his black tank-top, and swore. "You *bastard.* This is the only shirt I *have* dammit!" He was suddenly incredibly thankful that his buzz was wearing off; otherwise, the dragon would have had quite an advantage over him.  
  
The creature glared at him with it's six crimson eyes, growling in what sounded to Zell a challenging tone. Zell narrowed his eyes and stared right back. "You're not gonna get away with that." he said his voice monotone with anger, and with that, he lunged at it. .  
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
The sun was beginning to set now, turning the leaves at the tips of the trees above Seifer an Quistis from green to orange. The pair was resting now, though Seifer seemed the only one actually getting some rest as he sat on a bit of soft grass in a small clearing, smoking a cigarette. Quistis stood a few feet from him, and he watched her with piercing blue eyes, just daring her to try to run. His gunblade was now beside him, looking particularly unthreatening, but still Quistis did not move. She didn't know which way to go, not even a map to tell her how to get back to the shore. And still Hyperion was a threat, for Seifer could easily pick it up and shoot her in the back if she decided to try anything.   
  
"Sit." Seifer offered suddenly, startling her.   
  
"I'm fine." she replied. In all honesty, her feet and back were killing her and that grass looked terribly inviting, but with her hands tied the way they were she knew she would have an awful time trying to get back up again, and she didn't want to have to ask Seifer for help.  
  
Seifer shrugged. "Alright. Have it your way."  
  
"Where are we going?" Quistis asked, hoping to make conversation.   
  
"You'll see. Hey, you wearin' a wire?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You could have a mic on . . . and that would be why you keep asking me all these questions."  
  
"No, Seifer, I'm not."  
  
Seifer stood and looked down at her, then walked around to her back, pulling the cigarette from his lips and tossing it to the ground. Quistis didn't move, at least until she felt a pair of hands on either side of her waist, making her jump nearly out of her skin.  
  
"Hyne, Quistis, I'm not gonna friggin' *grope* you. Stay the hell still." and he proceeded to pat her down, from her shoulders to the bottom of her skirt, then checked to make sure her wrists were still bound tightly together.   
  
"I told you, I'm not wearing a wire."  
  
Just to spite her, Seifer did it again, taking extra time this time to search her every one of her pockets--he was as thorough as he could be without it being considered sexual assault. He out a satisfied grunt when he was finished. Quistis shook her head in exasperation. "See?"  
  
Seifer shrugged. "I had to check. It's not like I have a reason to trust you. Let's go." With that he picked up Hyperion from the ground, sheathing it, and rather roughly took hold of Quistis' arm to lead her from the clearing.   
  
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
  
  
Squall was getting another headache. Selphie had been yelling Zell's name for twenty minutes now, loud and shrill in his ear. The trees were getting closer together by now, too, blanketing the group almost completely in shade.   
  
"I hope he's okay." Rinoa said quietly from beside him.   
  
Squall let out a grunt that could have been taken to mean anything, keeping his eyes ahead of him. He didn't know if he wanted to find Zell or not--It wasn't like he wanted him dead or anything like that, he just didn't want to see him . . . he didn't know what he would do if they did find him. "He could be dead." he said, his voice monotone.   
  
"Don't you hope he's alive, though?"  
  
Squall shrugged. "This place is crawling with Hexadragons."  
  
"Why are you being so cold?" Rinoa lowered her voice so the others couldn't hear her--it was obvious that Irvine And Seplhie were trying to listen in. *Nosy bums,* she thought--she'd have to talk to him about that later. "Squall . . . is it because I stayed in his room last night?" She kept her tone concerned, and not accusing. The last thing Squall needed right now was to feel like he was being attacked.  
  
Squall didn't answer for a while, and lowered his gaze to his feet, watching them as he walked. He sighed before finally answering, "Maybe."  
  
Rinoa took a deep breath, trying her hardest to find the courage to say what she needed to. "I . . . I didn't . . . I only kissed him. That's it. And don't blame him. It was me too." Squall nodded, looking back up at the horizon, or at least where it should be beyond all those trees. His face was blank, as if he hadn't heard what she'd said, but she knew he had. Rinoa would have felt less horrible if he had started yelling at her, or run away from her, or started crying, but the blankness on his face scared her to death. Perhaps it was fear of the unknown--she didn't have a clue as to what he was thinking. "And . . . I'm sorry." she added, "I needed comfort . . . he was the only one there . . . I had no clue what was going on--"  
  
"You don't need to make excuses. I don't blame you." Squall interrupted. "You can . . . you can go be with him. It doesn't matter."  
  
"What?" Rinoa almost smiled, "No, no, Squall, I don't have *feelings* for him! It was just a . . . spur of the moment thing . . . neither of us knew what we were doing until it was over."  
  
This really confused him. How could she see that as nothing? Kissing, touching--they were something he held precious. Did she even know how much it meant when he allowed her to slide her arms around his waist back in the Garden? Probably not. "What about him?"  
  
"I'm not sure. . . don't worry, I'm going to talk to him. If we find him, that is."  
  
They were silent for a few minutes before Squall spoke again. "I accept your apology." How could he not? Even if he didn't agree with her motives, it all stemmed from something he'd done in the first place. Besides, if she was willing to forgive him for what he'd done, it was only fair to return the favour.   
  
She had hurt him, but he could see just how sorry she was in her voice when she said happily, "Thank you." and took his hand in hers.   
  
He looked down at their hands quizzically, then at her face. "Why are you doing that?"  
  
Rinoa giggled a little. "It's just something people do . . . you don't mind, do you?" Squall shook his head, just slightly, and actually tightened his grip on her hand. "You'll be able to tell if Seifer comes, right?"  
  
"Yes. Don't worry."  
  
"Heya guys!"  
  
The group simultaneously spun around to find Zell, looking bloodied and tired but at the same time incredibly excited, his hair, barely wet anymore, falling over his forehead. He was sweating like mad, as though he'd been running or working out. He walked over to them, or more, *hopped* (since the adrenaline from the battle hadn't quite worn off yet) waving a hand at them. "I got dinner." he said.  
  
"Zell, what happened to you?" Selphie asked, eyeing the blood that covered his arms and clothes with a worried expression on her face.   
  
"Got in a fight with a Hexadragon." he nodded his chin over his shoulder, "Back there. I beat his ass." An excited grin appeared on his face, as one often did during or after a battle.  
  
"I meant, are you okay?" Selphie asked.  
  
"Is any of that blood yours?" Irvine added.  
  
"Maybe a few scratches, and my shirt's wrecked, but other than that, I'm . . . . hey, you guys ready to set up camp? It's getting dark. We can eat a whole lot of that monster, then pack up the rest for the road . . ." With that, Zell turned in the direction he came, and the others followed. As they walked, Rinoa looked up at Squall to find that he looked particularly infuriated. The tightening grip on her hand, though, told her more than his face. Zell was going to get quite a lecture about all this.   
  
Zell stopped by the creature's body, what really looked like a big, bloody, purple lump in the grass. Many of the trees in the area had giant gashes in the sides, and a smaller one, particularly far off, had been completely knocked over. The surrounding foliage had been trampled. "Did I prove that I can do it now?" Zell asked, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to his left leg.  
  
"Shit." Irvine mumbled, walking around the lump, "You did this with your freakin' *hands?*"  
  
"Yup." Zell was obviously feeling quite smug.   
  
"While you were, like, *stoned?*"  
  
"Nah, it had pretty much worn off before the fight started. I mean, it's been a coupe hours . . . yeah, about that . . . sorry I took off like that. Didn't mean 'ta freak everybody out, there."  
  
"You blatantly disregarded orders. Garden protocol. You could be expelled for this." Squall said tersely.   
  
Zell looked at him. "Yeah, I know . . . that's your decision I guess . . . I was hoping this would help me prove myself, since I'll bet all the food got soaked."  
  
"It's too late for that. A SeeD is supposed to be *responsible*, Zell, and not intoxicate themselves before a mission."  
  
"So . . . I'm kicked out then?" Sadness seeped into Zell's voice, his previous hope dissolving.  
  
"I . . ." Was he? *Would I be threatening expulsion had Rinoa not been in his room last night?* "No."  
  
Zell's eyes widened. "Really?"  
  
Squall nodded, his face unchanging, and turned around to pull off his backpack. "I have two two-person tents, and there are five of us." he said as he opened it. "We'll need to take turns to watch at night. Let's--" suddenly his words were cut off my something slamming into him from behind. Strong arms gripped around his shoulders.  
  
"Thanks, man! Thank you!" Zell cried happily.   
  
Squall struggled. "Let go, Zell." he demanded in a no-nonsense tone, "Now."  
  
Zell did as he was told, and Squall turned around to see him smiling. "Sorry 'bout that, yo." he said, plopping himself down on the ground. The others were laughing, and only Rinoa was trying to hide it. Squall narrowed his eyes and continued unpacking.   
  
  
~*~§~*~  
  
"I hear something." Seifer said as he stopped walking. Quistis looked over at him to see him looking around, eyes narrowed. She listened, and found that he was right--there was a rustling in the shadowy bushes, not too far ahead of them.   
  
"What do you think it is?" She asked quietly.  
  
"Shut up." Quistis did as she was told, beginning to get a little nervous as well. Was it Squall and the others? Or a monster? "Come on out, you coward!" Seifer suddenly hollered, grinning evilly as he drew Hyperion and took a few steps forward.  
  
The Forbidden that had been hiding behind the trunk of a large tree seemed happy to oblige, skittering into view and hissing at them threateningly. Quistis jumped back a little as Seifer lunged forward at the mock-human-skeleton, unable to touch the creature as it hopped out of his way without effort, jumping from foot to foot. Forbiddens were quick and smart, the speedy swipes of their daggers (or swords, whichever they happened to come upon first) making up for what they lacked in physical strength. It seemed to laugh at Seifer, it's cackling cry only egging him on as he thrust his gunblade at it again and again, missing every time. "Fuck off!" he hollered, only seeming to make it happier and quicker.  
  
Quistis knew this was not the best kind of fight for him. Forbiddens loved to anger their enemies to a state of frustrated bewilderment to weaken them before striking. Seifer, easily aggravated, would surely fall into the trap. Thankfully, Quistis had been working at the knots in her whip for the last hour as she walked beside him, taking advantage of the fact that her hands had been out of his view. One more knot and she would be free.  
  
Seifer managed to tear its tattered red cape with one of his swipes, disappointed at not catching bone. "You fuckin' thing, stay still!"  
  
"They cast Death, you know." Quistis said, making sure to keep her wrists from his view, "I'd be careful."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Did I ask for your help?" he made the mistake of turning his head to say this, and the Forbidden took it as an opportunity to strike. Its short but very sharp dagger reached over to slice across Seifer's throat blindingly fast, bringing its stench of rotten death just under his nose before he collapsed to the ground, muttering something Quistis couldn't understand.  
  
"Seifer!" she yelled, and would have thoughtlessly been at his side to cast Curaga had it not been for the Forbidden a few yards away. It walked slowly in her direction, and she noticed an earthworm slithering from its ever-grinning teeth. Her hands fumbled with the last knot in her whip with panicked, shaky fingers, and she freed herself just in time to jump from a slash of its dagger. Her whip came out and with a loud crack the Forbidden's head was knocked from its rotting, white shoulders to slam against a nearby tree, screeching loudly. Still the body moved, for Forbiddens relied on magic to survive as opposed to living organs. Crack by crack, her whip disassembled the thing, scattering bones in every direction until not one of them moved.   
  
She looked at Seifer, sprawled out on the ground, his head to one side. *He could already be dead.* She thought as the looked at the blood that began to stain the leaves and grass. "Seifer?" she asked quietly.   
  
"Mmphm." came his reply, nearly silent. So he was alive. Now what would she do? Save the life of her captor, when she could just steal his compass and leave him for dead to find her way back to shore and wave down the Garden?   
  
No. He could be saved, and surely had useful information to give her. She couldn't give that up--if she did, they may never find whoever it was he was working for. *Saving his life may just be the key to unlock his trust.* Besides, she'd known him her whole life, and she knew that, despite all his wrongdoings, he wasn't *evil.* He did not deserve to die. Pretty damn close though--she would have to give him several lashes with her whip later (if he managed to live), since it seemed that she would now be in control. With that thought, she bent over him, first pulling Hyperion from his hand and placing it behind her, then rolling him over.   
  
The wound across his throat wasn't quite as bad as she had assumed--thin and not that deep; not deep enough to completely sever his jugular and be *instantly* fatal, anyways. She looked at his eyes, and saw something she never had in them: pleading, crystal-blue fear. "You owe me *big time* for this one, mister." she mumbled as she pulled a hi-potion from her belt to tip the whole vial into the wound. She could see it's magic working to mend the torn tissue. "This had better be enough." She said sharply, "It's my last one."  
  
Seifer passed out a minute or so later, the strong medicine and loss of blood too much for his body to handle. He was incredibly lucky, Quistis realized as she knelt beside him and watched him. Half an inch deeper and he would have been dead on the spot. 


End file.
